Past Comments – Confronting my wife's lover

Comments (89)

written by Guest, 27 April, 2006
I would like to ask if your wife’s reaction is based on what you know about her affair? If this information is out in the open and it still remains active. If so, it would seem to me that she is determined to be with the other person and you’re not taking a very assertive part in this problem. If the information is not in the open, then you should confront her about it and you both need to make a decision of what you want to do with your marriage.
written by david pee, 16 April, 2008
But what if you’re simply trying to confirm the status of their relations? I’m in that spot. There’s a guy. I know it’s most likely more than friends. I want to call, see if he even knows she’s married and simply tell him that she (they) are welcome to do whatever they please, but as I’m not getting strait answers I need to confirm the nature so I can protect myself if necessary.
written by 3ric, 23 July, 2008
Get positive ID on him, get pictures of the two together. Find out if he’s married, what he does, his background.
Develop a plan to destroy him and everything in his world.
Blackmail him first then start the plan and have fun. Watch as the SOBs life falls apart and enjoy it.
written by poskk22, 05 August, 2008
This is both an eye opening and depressing site. Much obliged.
written by quest, 12 August, 2008
I would not confront the other person. Anyone who would get involve with someone who is married has some deep problems! Work on yourself and your marriage.
written by tonny1, 23 September, 2008
Definitely confront. You are married. Your spouse is cheating. You have a right to the truth and the outside party should know your suspicions. These things happen but the cheating parties have RESPONSIBILITIES to. Once the relationship is suspected it should end or the spouse or spouses should be told. No third option.
written by quest, 31 October, 2008
Confronting cheater’s is difficult because they are doing something that is "wrong" and that’s why they lie!!! They try to justify by "blaming" and usually will take no responsibilities for their actions. They are like cockroaches when the lights go on they run and hide!!
written by looking for an answer, 03 January, 2009
I have in the past two years found love letters that my wife has written to a lover, mutual friend who did remodeling work in our home while I was in Iraq. She keeps writing but he never seems to answer. Now she has taken out a mail box at a post office to make him feel safer. I have both originals and copies of not only the love letters but of emails she has used to keep her best friend posted and to get advise. about until I found out summer they met for lunch and never told me, my wife sounds like an infatuated teenager in all her letters. We have 2 kids, any advise from out there, should I confront her?


looking for an answer
written by Been There, 14 January, 2009
TO ANY MAN CONSIDERING ?CONFRONTATION?: My advice is to any man in this situation is to confront your wife, immediately. And then also confront the other man.

And beat him unmercifully.

Such a ?man? deserves nothing less, and he clearly accepts this risk when he begins an affair with a married woman. Those are the rules of the game, and those rules have existed since caveman days. All men understand that.

There will also be consequences for you as well, when/if you do this. Make sure you understand and are prepared to handle the consequences.

When I found out about my wife?s long term affair with a co-worker, my first impulses were to: (a) confront him; (b) beat him to a pulp with my bare hands, and (c) tell his wife about the affair. And also inform her that her husband was a piece of human waste.

Instead, I swallowed my pride, and I took the ?high road?. I listened to the advice of a trusted family member, and tried to be the ?better man?.

I accepted my wife?s apology. I accepted her promises that the affair was over, and that nothing like this would ever happen again.

I did not confront the other man, other than to write him a semi-polite letter and tell him to stay away from my wife. I warned him that there would be serious consequences if he ever contacted my wife again.

I did not even tell his wife. Instead, I devoted my efforts to improving myself and our marriage. The other man and his wife moved away to a distant city, and I assumed the matter was closed. Gradually, my fantasies of confronting and beating the other man subsided, for the most part.

Two years later, I found out that the affair had never ended. Never even slowed down. In fact, the other man was flying into town once or twice each month to have sex with my wife. They were communicating via cell phone and voicemail every single day. I kept this information to myself. I investigated the situation very thoroughly. I found out where he stayed, and where they met when he flew in to town. And I waited patiently for my chance to confront the other man during his next visit.

I learned by secretly listening to a series of voicemails that the other man would be checking in at a certain local hotel at a certain time. I got myself a baseball bat, hopped in my car, and drove quickly to the hotel. My plan was to beat this man severely. And if he died in the process, so be it. However, he had left the site by the time I arrived. And I never got another opportunity to confront him, and beat him. I still regret that to this day.

I did, however, immediately call his wife and tell her the entire story. She had no idea, and she was devastated by the awful news. The other man instantly cut off the affair, and dropped my wife like the bag of shit that she is.

My wife and I are now divorced. Our family has been destroyed. Our two children were devastated. I was ruined both financially and emotionally.

The other man is still happily married to his wife.

My biggest regret is my failure to act like a man at the outset. I regret my failure to confront this slimeball when I first learned of the affair, and give exactly him what he deserved. I failed to at least attempt to protect my family, and my own dignity. Had I done this, and had I outed him to his wife, he would have slunk away like the snake that he is, and left my wife and family alone.

And maybe (just maybe) my wife and I might have had a better chance of saving our marriage. I guess I will never know.

written by michele b, 10 February, 2009
I would like to comment on the previous comment. Kudos to you. I feel the same way about my now ex husbands 12 year older married co-worker that he is committing adultery with. I would like to tie him up and make him watch me beat her ugly f---ing face in. Then I would like to kick him in the crotch until it splits open and the twins fall out. They have made my life a nightmarish HELL from which I may never recover! Its too late for our marriage but at least I can ruin their sex life!
written by TPP, 22 March, 2009
Should i confront the woman that my husband is dating right? We are separated but I still want to work it out with my husband. I know that they just start dating. I want to confront her and ask her to stay away from husband because if he is distracted by her, then how can we work it out. They two are working together. Please advice.
written by mervin, 23 March, 2009
My wife has major depression which i did my home work on not a pretty thing in 08 she had an affair with another guy abandon her kids for him got pregnant an i flipped the bill on the abortion she felt bad at the time for what happen but believe it or not this guy is still contacting my wife sill via text an she is always on his myspace page i think things have gotten bad she hasn’t learn from her mistake all this hurts she lies about her friends saying its her girlfriend texting her when its the guy all this time but i had a hunch he was still texting her i saw the phone log we hv to kids..she is finish...
written by garyk, 12 April, 2009
Would anyone contact the lover’s spouse? My idea is to get in touch with the guy’s wife and fill her in on what is going on with our spouses. It would be fun if they both got served divorce papers the same day
written by been there also, 17 April, 2009

I was in your situation years ago and I want to say our marriage is better than ever! What help me is to understand what happened in the marriage and work on yourself. I’ve learn that it is not about the other woman if it wasn’t her it could be someone eles.
written by Amor, 17 April, 2009
I applaud you guys here. You are all men/women of strength.
written by fernando_martinez, 03 June, 2009
just caught my wife with her 60 year old professor. I checked her myspace page and she told her cousin that they sit in parks kissing like teenagers. she is 34 he is an old fat law professor, a total scumbag. I have his address, phone number everything. they were seen in a park. Im in the same boat as other guys here. But i think that if she wants to do it what the hell can i do?? We also have a 5 year old daughter. She has been lying to me for 3 months now. I guess they think that logging keystrokes is a difficult thing. I have the same reaction which is to beat him and let his family know.
written by Toney, 03 July, 2009
I caught my wife having affair number had been going on for 5 years. I confronted her and she lied to my face that nothing happened, I had proof on my computer, he also denied it even when I read out to him the text messages they had sent each other. It is finished now, I have no trust in her, 8 months on and we live like friends in the same house. I hate what she did and want revenge on him...I will serve it on a cold plate when he thinks I have ‘forgotten’ about it...I want a divorce but also want my home and the family life. I told his partner and she was devastated as they were actively trying for a baby!! He is scum...
written by dalevin, 26 July, 2009
I intercepted a text off my wife’s phone and the OM wanted to to get naked and slide into her. After 18 yrs of marriage and not a clue that my wife and mother of 3 kids was a pig I woke her up and she said it was only sexting with a co-worker. I did a hit the computer and realized he lived in the next town. I went there with the printouts of the text’s. The asshole was not home but I sure as hell showed his wife. She said she will call him he was out of town on business. Next day I went back for conformation and he confessed that he had sex w/ my wife 5 times. I confronted my wife and she went from once twice to a few times but she didn’t love him. I talked to the OM’s wife and she acted like my wife was the aggressor and for her to stay away(I told my wife that the OM’s wife said she was basically a pig chasing her husband) I enjoyed that. Anyway my wife is begging forgiveness and I’m trying to figure out how to break this guy’s legs and face w/o getting arrested because he as any guy knows crossed the line and will get a severe beating down the road. Any suggestions?
written by anonguy, 20 August, 2009
I’d definitely confront him, and here’s what I’d say.

"Hey a**hole, you have the audacity to bang my wife and still not have to deal with the responsibility for her? You think you can get away with porking but not have to live with her every stinking day? No way pal. You want her, you got her. Take ALL of her. Get her out of here.
written by ?????????, 15 September, 2009
I agree with telling him to take her and see how it works out for them but then again i love her (thats why i married her)and for that reason i would really like to get rid of him permanently and live happily ever after
written by John Doe, 13 October, 2009
Just caught the mother of my child cheating. She is a whore and I don’t care. WE WERE NOT MARRIED, she gets nothing even though we lived together for an extended period of time. She may even have to pay me child support. This is the best thing that ever happened due to her being a miserable cunt and always bitching and complaining. Don’t get married you stupid asses. Wake up! These whores marry you so they can own you and ruin you. Once she moves out tell her you were fucking her best friend while she was pregnant with your baby. Men are to nice and need to treat these whores the way they deserve.
written by been there, 21 October, 2009
As much as a beating is well deserved by some of these scumbags it will just end up costing you money or time. Unfortunately adultery isn’t against the law, but a well earned ass kicking is. Sadly the best thing you can do is lick your wounds, definitely tell the other persons spouse if they have one (and try and sleep with them), get rid of your pig of a wife/husband, and move on to find someone that deserves you.
written by Jkk, 22 October, 2009
You need to move on, start flirting with other woman. I’ve had friends in your situation. They moved on and found new lives with other woman. None has ever told me the regretted getting rid of their cheating wife. Another woman usually clears your head – she makes you see things better.
written by Jpoe, 26 October, 2009
My wife of 10 years was having an affair with a guy from the gym. Long story short, it was like a plague and impossible for the two of them to end it.
He called again after they hadn’t spoken for 3 months. She told me that he called and I called and confronted him. He was a tool and tried to tell me over and over again on how he just got caught-up in the whole thing. Such a d-bag!
I ended the call by telling him that I would have to take things to the next level if he ever called again. I imagine that there will come a day where I have to keep that promise. He’s nothing but scum.
written by what?, 29 October, 2009
To Jpoe,
Yeah the other man is a scumbag but so is your wife. She disregarded your feelings and willingly went with another man simply because she liked him. You didn’t matter.
Read the cheating husband section of this site. None of the wives in your situation tolerated this type of abuse. You don’t need to tolerate either.
The next time your wife meets another man she likes, she will once again disregard your feelings. You will be stabbed in the back.
You may want to cut your losses and get out before she runs you into the ground. I know one guy who didn’t listen and he ended up getting burned over and over for 4 years. He just didn’t get it. Look at the comments above. Some of these guys have simply been abused by their wife. CUT YOUR LOSSES.
written by John C., 30 October, 2009
i caught my wife cheating on me with a family member of mine. i tossed my family member and tried to work it out with her for the kids. we went to counseling, church therapy everything just to find out that she was still cheating on me with someone else. after we split up all the skeletons came out. you wouldnt believe the sh*t i found out she was doing. basically if shes cheated, more than likely shes done it before, and shes going to keep on doing it. get rid of her and just try and move on. whores like that will only drag you down further and further.
written by Atkin, 16 November, 2009
So when does ‘friends’ cross the line into an affair? What if there is no sex(yet?) but they secretly call each other and text each other through out the day? And what if co-workers are suspicious of their relationship?

Isn’t this still an affair?
written by To catch a rat..., 26 November, 2009
I’m going through a similar problem although, I’m not married but I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. We do not live together making it harder to find out the exact truth. When hes not with me, he is communicating with other girls/women, Ive seen messages to the effect of ‘i miss u’ etc but it from more than 1 person! Also he has left messages under a ‘friends’ photo saying ‘very pretty my beautiful’ only last week. I should be ashamed to say that Ive been through his phone and I copy numbers to see who they belong too, but I’m not!!. I ring them and they have a female voice but I don’t speak to them... But he will lie and say it was someone else(a male). I haven’t said too much so far, because as i have learned from sites like these once a cheat knows you are onto them then they tend to hide it a lot better!!!
If im honest im tired of all the secrecy, I’m tired of all the lies and snooping and feeling like an idiot.
It’s come to a point now when i NEED to know the truth and I’m prepared to get at at any means necessary. Any suggestions would be gratefully received....
written by need answer to question, 07 December, 2009
My wife has a friend from back in high school.he is fat and married, with a retarded kid. he keeps calling and texting my wife, and when he is not he travels a lot for work but when home he out drinking or playing golf with all of his divorced friends. His parents divorced when he was young and was raised by a single grandmother. my wife is always friendly and wants to help everyone. and thrives on gossip, which this guy always has. I told her I trust her, but I think it is wrong for a married woman to keep talking/texting a married man. I dont believe guys/girls can be friends.. men only want one thing(pxxxy) why dont women know this? My wife agrees and I look at the phone bill, she does not call or text but he still is.. should I go snap his head off (I am 6’4" 280 lbs ex college football player) or should I tell my wife again to tell this guy to back off? My wife does not know I check her calls on the phone.. please inform. thanks,

written by Mickey99997, 08 December, 2009
Geez. What’s with all the revenge? Why not enjoy it instead? My wife has a lover and all that I ask is that I get to watch or that she tells me all the details later. And then I make love to her afterwards, or if she is sore, then the next day. Major turn on. It’s a win, win, win situation!
written by Donnie, 11 December, 2009
I found out about an affair and found the guy alone one night on a deserted stretch of road one night and shot and killed him. I buried him in a state forest and he’s been declared missing ever since. I enjoyed cutting up his body.
written by hu02, 27 December, 2009
Confronted my wife’s other man. He turned out to be a spineless, weak, shell of a man. I merely wanted to know if he loved her and what had happened, I already knew the details from my remorseful wife. The wimp lied about the whole affair...I told my wife she could have him...oh sorry she already did!
written by Devastated Fineboy, 29 December, 2009
I have evidence of my wife cheating with someone from church who is also married. I have call records, she calls him every day and they could spend up to 40 mins on the phone and also frequently text. She even calls him and texts him when he goes on a work trip. She doesnt want to come clean instead she is being defensive and acting as if I am the bad guy for rumbling her. We have a 2 year old, so I am concerned about childs future so still considering if i should go for divorce or not.
Anybody got any ideas
written by gitridoher, 05 January, 2010
Donnie, I had the same dream but I made her stand there and watch!
written by Forest, 10 January, 2010
I was very interested to read one of the comments about the man who wanted to confront his wife’s lover. I knew my wife had been having an affair for two years and was caught between decisions – do I confront them or do I hang in there ? The problem was I became so caught up in the chase that I lost sight of reality. The excitement of catching them took over everything. I did eventually catch them – I battered him – he never reported me to the police because he was worried about the scandal that would follow. He had an important job in a well known high street bank. He dumped my wife the next day, saying he wanted nothing more to do with her. I was so well prepared on the night I caught them I had all important phone numbers on speed dial and as I walked back to the car, I called everyone that mattered. Including his wife.....she was devastated. They had been together since their early teens. She told me that her husband had gone on his knees to be taken back. They stayed together for another month and on the day she threw him out, saying she couldn’t find the way to trust him again, he went straight to my wife and begged to give it another go. I was kicked out unceremoniously again and ended up sleeping rough in the car. I lost everything. My advice to anyone planning to confront their spouse, partner is – make sure you plan for everything – employ the same planning and tactics as they have done to deceive you – I fell short, even when choosing a good divorce lawyer.
written by ToddB, 18 March, 2010
My wife had an affair. I know where he lives. I’m going to ruin the son of a bitch in every way I possibly can. Of that, there is no doubt.

These men that do this are evil, and they need to be dealt with.
written by MariaB, 29 March, 2010
My husband had an emotional relationship with a woman from our church. We are both very active in our church. I love and trust my husband and we are rebuilding our marriage and are closer than ever. I can’t stand seeing her every Sunday. We both have to see her every Sunday and it makes me re-live the hurt every week. Like I said, we are very active in our church and won’t know how to explain to anyone why we would leave. Does anyone know how to handle this? I can’t forgive her and can’t focus on anything else at church. We also met and married at that church. What do I do to stay there and not have the fact that I see her every Sunday effect me.
written by lesson in la, 23 April, 2010
Sixteen years ago I was the other man to a beautiful young married Brazilian woman living in Los Angeles. I knew she was married, but she was so much fun and incredibly sexy. To hear her talk, her husband was a real a55h0le who she wanted to leave anyway, so I justified our affair. One day I got a call from her number, but when I answered the phone, I heard a man’s voice. It was her husband. I froze. At first I was shocked and stunned. All I heard him say was "Why... why did you do it? As I listened to his voice, my fright turned into sadness. At that point the poor man became flesh and blood in my eyes. We broke off the affair. She went back to him only to divorce him a year later. I never had an affair with a married woman again. Bottom line: Confront shamelessly. Make it real. Give it a face. The bubble will burst and everyone will be better for it.
written by thinking differently, 24 June, 2010 said your husband and you are closer so look at the other woman as a "DIVINE" intervention. Take a negative experience and see how it made your marriage better!!
written by Bruno, 14 July, 2010
Is it really worth it: beating the other guy?
written by Leo, 26 July, 2010
Just this past week, I found out from the OM’s wife that my wife has been having an affair with this guy since at least last Feb. On Feb. 28th she gave me the "I love you but am not in love with you anymore" and "I don’t want to be married to you anymore" speech... I asked her why and her response; "To have the freedom to be alone" (I subsequently moved out of our home to give her this "freedom")... I then asked if there was anyone else involved and she said no... both lies... OM’s wife told me that her husband and my wife have been screwing like rabbits and that they intended to move into a house together which he bought only a block or so away from out matrimonial home! The unmitigated gall... would love to confront the low-life, but am trying to keep my wife from flying off the handle at least until I can get her to agree on a reasonable settlement on our home. OM’s wife told me that her husband has a history of "playing the field"... I love to extract some kind of revenge, but am sure it would likely just ‘cause more harm than good... but, would sure love to give his nads a shot with the business end of a baseball bat...
written by brcofan, 25 September, 2010
I confronted my wife’s "friend". Found out one day that they were planning on meeting for lunch. I texted my wife to call me and she did not. I texted her again and asked her if she would like me to just call him as I had told her I would if I found out they were still communicating. I ended up calling him and asked him to respect my marriage and my children. He is also married so I made mention that it would be a shame for his wife to find out and have to feel like I did. Since that day I have seen no evidence of them communicating. I don’t believe this was a sexual relationship, but it was an emotional one, and may have been heading in that direction. One thing for everyone to remember is that all of this is a symptom of problems that we have in our marriage. It is not right to cheat or do things behind your spouses back. So I have realized that there are many things that I can improve on in our relationship. We are both going thru counseling right now. Hope to go to marriage counseling soon. Good luck to all of you that are going thru the same situation.
written by Mariab, 22 October, 2010
I am still having a hard time getting over my husband’s emotional affair with a woman from church that I have to see every Sunday. Her mom is now giving me the cold shoulder like I did something wrong by interfering in her daughters happiness. She is very smug about the whole thing. My husband and I aren’t talking now after a fight this evening and I brought it up and he is angry with ME for not letting go. Please help. I posted earlier so there is more information above.
written by Mariab, 22 October, 2010
Answer to "thinking differently" -great answer. Thanks for responding. I just can’t do it after 8 months. I think about it and feel ashamed that I can’t let it go.
written by thinking differently, 23 October, 2010
Time will help and what help me was books. I went to a christian book store and read all I could on affairs and marriage and also got involved with a gym and worked on eating better. My husbands affair happened years ago and we both mature from it. Staying busy with positive things will help be rewarding!
written by slimjim, 10 November, 2010
My situation doesn’t involve marriage but I was with a girl I rekindled things with whom I took her virginity from in highschool. We met again around 23 and hit it off. I moved way to fast I’m sure because spending a night turned into living at my house because she had so many leeches (family problems, family that used her for money and her car) so I just got cool with her staying with me.

My mom always told me to look at the family but I failed to do that because I was being thirsty and she was gorgeous. She cooked, cleaned, everything. As time went on, months, about 5, things started happening. I started catching her in lies, her ghetto mentality started to show, silencing her phone etc. She even had some dude drive to my house and had the nerve to say it was a stalker.

I found out later it was her previous dude. I cut shit off but "you know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are -- won’t let go of one branch until they’ve got hold of the next." But long story short she kept making these promises to me about her wanting to get back with me and how I was accusing her of things she never did, how I was crazy. I never actually found out hard facts that she was cheating because she locked her phone but I did check her email.

I found the guy’s email that came to my house and sent an email. It wasn’t a rude one it involved me telling him about who this chick was to me and how she lied about everything and if they were together then let me know so I could walk away from it all.

Well that definitely didn’t turn out right because I felt like a bitch after sending it. I didn’t get a response from the dude but I did from the chick and she acted like I was in his personal business by emailing him. I told her that I didn’t know what else to do and I sent the letter because I was tired of the lies.

But after reading this site I feel a tad bit better that I’m not the only one that has succumb to this. I’ve started working out more, and talking to more friends. The issue now is that this chick is calling me saying I’m still bothering this grown ass man. He’s 31, I’m 23, she’s 23. I told her that I’ve moved on but she keeps acting like I haven’t. I don’t know if this is another one of her tricks but I’m lost on what to do next.
written by C-Nistor, 10 November, 2010
I’m still married to the bitch of my wife, we have 3 kids, 13, 10, 8. Sadly my 13 yr old is starting to know bad stuff about her mom already. Well I recently caught my wife with a tiny spy camera & recording device i placed on her purse and on her car. Sure enough on 9/2/10, you can see her giving him a blow in da car before she goes to work. On the other video she was so stupid to leave the purse on top of the bed while her lover rapidly took his & her clothes off. You can hear the guy say: Baby suck my cock before I f**K you real good. She did what she was told, then she got in doggystyle position while you hear the moaning of Yes,yes, deeper yes baby...and screaming for more. That worse devastating part was that her best friend finally came over and call me to talk to me about my wife behavior. By this time I thought it was their 1st or 2nd time being together, but oh no. They have been f**king each other for a year & half, that right, from sometime in 6/09 thru 10/10. That guy is hiding from me, he knows that I know, he knows my rage, so does my cheap whore of wife. there’s more stuff i found out what my did...
P.S. The bitch now goes to the christian church I go to, she now had gotten on her knees literally in front of the pastor begging for forgiveness and wants to comeback home. I told her to work her ass for forgiveness and to get a start on it, because its a long hard road out hell.
written by Butch, 23 November, 2010
If you keep asking yourself the question, just do it. You will feel better. I confronted my wife’s affair partner the week after it happened, taking the high road and just giving him a stern warning in a restaurant. He promised to stay away from her, but we all know how that goes. They only met one time after that, but combined with all the other crap I went through I never had a sense of "closure". So one day more than 2 years after discovering the affair and after yet another big fight with my wife, I left her and stopped by his house to beat the crap out of his car in broad daylight. $6,000 damage in 60 seconds. Breaking windows is quick and easy and feels GREAT! He’s lucky he didn’t come out of the house. The revenge and the temporary separation from my wife helped me put the anger to rest and shocked my wife into reality. I moved back home after a month. I got a good lawyer, but it didn’t hurt that I had a spotless record. He dug his own grave when he messed with my wife and then again when he irritated the responding officer, the DA, and the Magistrate. Nobody likes a cheater and a liar. I never denied anything and paid for all the damage without complaint. They reduced a felony charge to a misdemeanor and I’ve never regretted it. It wasn’t well thought out, but it worked out.
written by Ben Laden, 05 February, 2011
Please go to his apartment or house. Cut his penis off. Let him bleed to death. He will take nothing from his wealth and he will die a coward.
written by dying inside, 05 March, 2011
My girl-friend of 16yrs (I know we should have been married years ago or split) had a one night stand a year into our relationship, I found out 2 months later and after getting the details wrote him a letter (he lives in another country) advising to never set foot in my city or speak to her again or face the consequences.
2 years later she did it again with someone else
Both times a lot of alcohol was involved, I confronted him as well, then told his wife – she kicked him out immediately and her family to this day still does not like my girlfriend.
We have no kids of our own, but she has from her first marriage and I helped to raise them as if they were mine.
Over the years we had our problems, I was too dedicated to work, there was jealousy for both of us and suspicion from me for every guy she talked to – could it happen again? She thought that I wanted to sleep with every woman I spoke to.
fast forward to 2004 or 2005 – her boss – married, lots of money and flashy lifestyle – hobnobbing with other rich and well to do celebrities, musicians, artists, business people etc began paying a lot of attention to her – I warned her of his character.
Well his wife divorced him because of his behavior towards women (probably not aware of his intentions to my girlfriend). He was constantly flirting with her, complimenting her, you know, but of course while he was doing that to her – he was screwing around with others when he would get the chance.
About a year ago we were not doing so good, fights, and arguing over nothing, sex was good, but the connection was fading. I had already gotten some counseling for the past problems and began getting more to help myself and my feelings and problems from the past and to help our relationship, she knew it but didn’t really care.
Then in August 2010 – due to circumstances at her work they got together and have been seeing each other since. I was suspicious, but couldn’t put my finger on it. She was traveling for work more and more, avoiding me and any responsibilities with her family and her other job here.
In December there was a minor crisis with her youngest son and she took him for treatment. I stayed home looking after the others, the house and kept working to support us.
She was only supposed to be gone 2 weeks, then return leaving the son in counseling, it ended up being 2 months.
Since end of September or early October I had been planning to ask her to marry me, had the ring and was set to propose at Christmas with the kids there.
Well she was delayed in returning and kept postponing it until she finally returned in February.
The night she returned she told me she was seeing someone and didn’t want me anymore.
I almost died.
Since then she went from not wanting me to asking how will she know things will be better between us.
Well lets see – I’ve been getting counseling every week (and a couple of emergency calls due to this news) as well I have quit the job she hated because it consumed so much of my time and now have a M-F 830 – 5 job, no nights weekends, etc.
In spite of this affair I love her and want to marry her.
As for him – well I’d like nothing more than to confront the SOB and hurt him physically, mentally, financially etc, but haven’t decided yet what, how or if I will. I know this guy well enough to know he is screwing around while he is involved with my girlfriend, he is using her to promote his business, and nothing I say or do is getting through to her and actually seems to make it worse.
I know it is a risk to stay with her, but man it really hurts not being with her and while she wants a bit of time alone to think about it and decide what to do, she hasn’t stopped seeing him, texting and emailing daily, as well as regular phone calls – he lives in a different city, yet she gets steamed if I call her once in 3 days or tell her I still love her.
I feel like my guts have been ripped out and kicked around the block.
One day she says she wants nothing more to do with me and the next day in most ways she acts as if nothing happened.
Am I the biggest loser or what?

written by Maria B, 06 March, 2011
Thank you "thinking differently". It has been over a year and I still am devastated. Tried reading, counseling, praying etc. Nothing has worked. I eat and sleep each weekend I see her at church. I have gained weight. I should start exercising. I caught her looking at my husband to day at church. (thank God he doesn’t look at her). we had a brief stare down today. I don’t know how to act about it. I don’t know how to treat her. I know hoe God wants me to handle it but I feel as if I can’t. I don’t want to. My Pastor, counselor, etc, tell me it is my choice and to get over it. I can’t!!
written by gutted, 13 March, 2011
To Maria B, next time you see her just say " give up bitch, he chose me because I am a great lover" then go buy yourself a new sexy dress and start working on your looks, she will get even more jealous when she sees that your not only better looking but handling the whole thing with confidence. You may be hurting on the inside but don’t let her get the pleasure from it and don’t give him any excuse to go back to her.
I just caught my wife cheating on me for more than a year after 25 years of marriage, I told OM wife so she will kick his butt so the weasel will get his just deserves. My wife and I are working on counseling, its early days but I hope we can make our marriage work.
written by......, 30 March, 2011
My wife recently been acting weird, forgetting her responsibilities to her family, neglecting me and my son. Lately she been going out late, talking to someone onto 3 o’clock in the morning and even skipped out earlier than usual for work. The moron left her computer screen on and I saw that she was having an emotional affair with the man. The spineless asshole knows she is married and have a child, yet he continue to satisfy his own needs. I am going to confront her today when she gets home from work regarding this affair. After that, I am going to divorce the b*tch.
written by thinking differently, 03 April, 2011
Marie B...On an early blog you said that you trust and love your husband which is very important in a marriage. It take a lot of self determination to realize how important you are and focus on "yourself" and quit looking at her looking at your husband. By looking at her your are not showing confidence, poise and being comfortable in your marriage. Another important part of marriage is for you and your husband to have a hobby or fun activities that you can do ‘together’. "Time heals all things" but you have to work at it and make things better for you and your marriage by finding things in your life that are fulfilling for your personally and as a couple.

written by Dell Boy, 09 April, 2011
My Fiance was regularly seeing a Dad from the kids school at various kids parties that both our kids went to. They’d meet up at various places on the premise that the kids got on well together etc. They also spent a lot of time chatting on facebook. Is this what you guys refer to as an "emotional relationship" before the sex starts ? Anyway, two weeks after she tells me our relationship is over, she announces that she’s dating him. I’m going to go to his house and see what he has to say. He’s welcome to her, but the biggest problem I have is he’ll be sitting in my house, on my sofa, watching my TV with MY KIDS. He/She deserves some retribution and I’m gonna deliver it. I’m not bothered about consequences as I cannot be hurt any more than I have been already.
written by hi is me josephine, 10 June, 2011
hello to you and how are you doing today

written by rembrandt65, 17 June, 2011
I got married on May 27th. on June 3rd I discovered on my wife computer a facebook chat with a man she had sex with on May 16th and was planning on doing it again. at first she denied the whole thing then said they were from a year ago before we started dating, then admitted to only making out with, then after a week finally came clean. i kicked her out but let her come back after a week. I found out where he lives, went and slashed his tires, called his 3rd wife (talked to 2nd wife told me thats why his 1st and 2nd marriages failed), called him numerous times but the pussy wouldnt answer his phone. I am contemplating beating him with a louisville slugger but do not like the idea of sitting in jail. I am completely devastated. If she didnt want to be with me, why did she marry me? she has changed her phone number deleted her facebook and myspace accounts, gave me access to her email, told me to check her mileage on her car, she cries and says she is sorry and it will not happen again but I do not know if I can believe her. i still love her but am as made at hell at her at the same time. what am I to do?
written by rembrandt65ndont do it, 15 July, 2011
Don’t go back to your wife divorce her. Same thing happen to me. We got married August 2007, I found out in February 2008 she was fucking some dude at her job. She been fucking him while we were dating, engaged, and divorce. Who knows she probably was fucking other men too. I confronted both of them together; you should have seen him scared like a little bitch. It took a lot for me not to kill him that day A LOT!!!! We’re divorce and they’re getting married this year. GOOD RIDDANCE...I’m glad she out of my life that bitch!!!! Don’t take her back divorce her.
If you have any kids get a DNA test they might not be yours!!!!

written by BlackBruceLee, 15 July, 2011
Don’t go back to your wife divorce her. Same thing happen to me. We got married August 2007, I found out in February 2008 she was fucking some dude at her job. She been fucking him while we were dating, engaged, and divorce. Who knows she probably was fucking other men too. I confronted both of them together; you should have seen him scared like a little bitch. It took a lot for me not to kill him that day A LOT!!!! We’re divorce and they’re getting married this year. GOOD RIDDANCE...I’m glad she out of my life that bitch!!!! Don’t take her back divorce her.
If you have any kids get a DNA test they might not be yours!!!!

written by davethemuppet, 12 October, 2011
I had an online affair...I was emailing and sexting a girl who had a fiance....He found out and I have been shitting myself ever since waiting for him to tell my wife this has been 6 months I have made no contact with the girl since and am really making an effort to save my marriage I cant believe how stupid i was.. This is ruining my life I seriously regret it!!
written by jadeezra, 20 October, 2011
Man-c nistor thats quite the lesson to learn. I think I’d rather of just known about the affair.
written by jadeezra, 20 October, 2011
And a real dad doesnt care about dna if you’ve been attached. Just saying.....
written by jadeezra, 21 October, 2011
Rembrant, she will more than likely do it again. This from prior expierence of ten years being in love with somebody. Btw Jails not that bad, well worth it
written by Scarlet Letters for All, 21 October, 2011
Well I have become older and wiser. Women cheat, at least the ones I am attracted to. I call it the "Princess" syndrome. From a young age they are told what they are entitled to and what they deserve. Once reality sets in on their mundane lives they feel like they "deserve" the hot steamy newness of a man’s attention. They don’t have the mental strength to fight off these urges. Women are manipulative, they hide things well.

I may shack up with one in the future, but it will be on my terms. My house, my money, my toys. Nothing in her name. Women want to treated as equals, then man up and be self sufficient. And having children is way overrated. I have plenty of nephews and nieces to borrow with out the financial or mental burdens.
written by Martin_y, 14 November, 2011
Jeez, people, you dont own anyone, even once you’re married. the fairy tale of "that special one" is failing us all dismally. Monogamy is a mean trick being shoved down our throats by govts and churches. It doesnt work. Promiscuity is in our dna. Start reading about "polyamory", and pick up at least 2 books – "The ethical slut", and "Sex at dawn".
I see lying as cheating, but its understandable that women do it because its such a struggle for them to be owned by one man, when they might want some attention, romance, and fun in their lives.
If you can bring yourself to be ok with your partner having a lover (it doesnt HAVE to mean they love you less, you know), imagine how much better that will be than them sneaking around. Perhaps you might need to agree on some boundaries, like how much time they spend away, etc, but it CAN work, once you realise that society is selling us a LIE about monogamy.
Im HOPING my wife will find a lover, lol!
written by a cheater, 19 December, 2011
I love my boyfriend...we’ve been together since hs.... eight years almost...he’s kind, loving, a good lover and overall a good man and loves me like no one has ever before...i dont believe in soul mates...but hes is good to me and for me....but i still going to try to keep the justifications to a minimum....i just felt compelled to speak up because of all the violent talk against the people whom fuck others outside of their spouse or committed partner not going to pretend to understand the root of anger for everyone...but i will assume that for some being cheated on makes one feel like you are not good enough or that your partner is getting back at you for something...or that they have no love or respect for you in the first place that they are just using you....or maybe the anger comes from the embarrassment you would feel if someone else knew..which im sure one or many more possibilities are true at given times.... but for me the reason i need other lovers has from my perspective NOTHING to do with the shortcomings of my partner or any animosity towards him...but my need to experience new and different things in life not religious which i know leaves me open to speculation about having a poor moral upbringing....which also makes it easier for some to say Aha! There’s the problem....but i honestly just love men....and feeling sexy...and basking in the tension of a sexual moment...and the actual lovemaking...ive only had one night im not emotionally connected...i dont love them but am friends with some of them..... my bf regretfully knows about most of the sexual interactions...and when i say regretfully i mean i regret the hurt it causes him when he finds out, not the regret of the actual act...on a side note im typically so rejuvenated by the sex with someone else that im more sexually charged with my bf as well....and its not likely that im a sex addict...i typically want to screw 3-4x a week, which i dont consider a lot necessarily, but after 7+ years i feel is pretty healthy....the point is although i dont claim to be unbiased in the world of sex outside of relationships i do want to hopefully give some alternate explanation or viewpoint on the matter...i love my bf....he loves me...i hope our lives continue to remain intertwined for as long as i live....i know its hard on him when he has known about the other men....but it is also hard on me to not have what i desire very deeply( which is ideally about two times a year for the record) wish is for sex to be seen as having less of a direct correlation to love but more of a direct correlation to being human...we are sexual...and for those whom are programed...taught...whatever to wanting just one lover...thats great....but for the many of us whom need a different type of sex life...i think that could be great too.
written by Nige, 22 December, 2011
How do you deal with the situation when your wife has an affair, you get divorced and in a couple of years you meat someone else, then your ex wife gets jealous and starts causing all sorts of problems with your new relationship – this seems to happen a lot.
written by Nige, 22 December, 2011
To Cheater – that’s all fine until your lover also finds someone else and you then get jealous and not like it.
written by ema01, 14 January, 2012
To cheater... if you’ve agreed to have many partners before hand, no problem then. But if you break a promise, then how could the other person not be angry. Its not the same promise as to not smoke or not eat the last damn cookie. And stop throwing the word human around. If we can’t control our urges we are no better than animals who have opposable thumbs. bonobos!
written by Bobknob, 01 February, 2012
My wife is mentally ill... she went nuts and ended up with a child 15 years her junior – a meth addict... just out of prison... a wife beater... a psychopath – for one night. That bitch couldn’t even get it up, but the damage is done for me and my family. I did nothing wrong. Who can I blame? She’s crazy... he’s crazy. Someday, I hope to see his head through a scope and watch it explode in a pink cloud... But like everyone else here who is the victim of immoral fuckwads, I have to be immeasurably patient. The day may come, but don’t act too soon. Wait until it all cools down, pick your time, not theirs. Then, enact justice.
written by atalow, 02 February, 2012
I have been married for 19 years and have two kids. In Feb 2011 I discovered my wife was having a texting affair with an old family friend. After two kids we had grown emotionally disconnected. I took my discovery as a wakeup call and did not confront her, but set out to fix what was ailing our marriage. She was surprised by the new me. I also decided to monitor her text messages so I could confront her if necessary. In June, after a particular racy exchange of sexting, I confronted her with my suspicions. She denied it but after a few weeks and some prodding in to emails and a few sessions of me sharing more of what I knew, little buy little she fessed up. For weeks I felt there was more and then in September she told me everything. It all started at a family reunion in 2008 at her parents’ cottage. I had left the party early in the evening and returned home leaving her with her family and friends. Very late in the evening she starten to unload on OM about her unhappiness and ended up giving him a BJ at the end of the pier (don’t worry our kids were in the house asleep with everyone else). After that they started emailing and eventually having a casual texting affair over the next 3 years, meeting once for lunch when they kissed and again at the reunions where they also made out. After the initial confrontation she immediately stop all contact. We assumed he would not come to the next reunion but when it was apparent he was planning to attend, my wife reluctantly and after the encouraging of her best friend texted him not to come. He complied without protest. She has not had any interaction with him since.
In many ways this was a blessing. We have worked on our marriage and have rekindled romance and our emotional connection. The reunion consists of my wife’s parents, her brother and four of their childhood friend of which the OM is one of them. The OM has attended all reunions except for last where he was missed by all, well...not all but most.
Given that it is such a small group it would be all too strange if OM were not to show again. I will see him for the first time since I found out this last summer. He knows I know about a single text message but my wife had cut off contact before she fessed up completely so he has no idea I know about the BJ, lunch, kissing or the extent and the content of the texting. Do I confront him before the reunion? Should I have her call him to put closure on the whole thing before hand? O yeah, this is a sleep over too so there is no avoiding the whole thing either. He is single and our kids will be there.

written by babyboiimason, 03 February, 2012
Today, I went over the top. I found messages on my wife’s phone from an "Ivette" she works a lot and she mentioned that she was in a work related weight loss agreement with in her work center. These messages seemed odd to me. I thought to myself ‘either Ivette is gay or a guy’. After seeing the phone bill and "Ivette’s" phone number in it all the time I pushed the issue and confronted her with what I found, and its like every other woman the guys are talking about here on this page, LIES LIES LIES, they were "friends". I call him and asked why he was calling/texting my wife, the coward he was he denied it, and he eventually called back, after talking with my wife, and he mentioned he was married, and I found out his name and who he was married to. And I informed her, like a dumb bimbo she thought I was crazy, she stated "I can
t control him and I trust him". I’m thinking, bitch don’t trust ME, I hope I don’t come across him on a bad day. And left it to that. Next thing I know, I get the cops called on me. WTF F-AZ. I told the cop to mind his business and hung up on him. And my wife still out to make me out to be the bad guy. We have a 2 yr old and he thinks it fun to flirt with my wife and play games with my family. I asked her to stop the relationship and if he can’t he’s going to need more than the cops!!!

Sorry for any misspelling or grammar, I’m heated and I have not slept in the past 2 days!

written by atalow, 03 February, 2012
babyboiimason, In deed you did go over the top. Calm down, I know, easier said then done. Figure out what you want. Do you want to keep your family together or do you want revenge? Either way you will make things worse by flying off the handle.
written by Piotrek, 05 February, 2012
I have been going through this for the last 3 years. First my wife of 7 years started an affair and had a baby with the guy 1 year later. I did not divorce because we have 4 kids and I would have gotten screwed. I should have cut the guys twins off but I figured why should I serve time for this ho bag. 2 years later I gave her another chance. She seemed genuinely sorry and better women, but only for 6 months. Then she started another affair with another man. For a couple months I followed her on Facebook and checked her phone regularly. I have to say it got addicting. Like they say leopards don’t change their spots. I just had to come to a point where I’m ready to get a divorce.
written by Only thing to do, 13 February, 2012

I have been reading alot on this forum lately.
I found out 10 days ago that my wife was cheating on me. But i had been suspecting this for a few months. My gut feeling was telling me that she was doing something wrong and i fronted her and questioned here so many times but she told me everytime that i was beeing jealous and suspicious and controlling. So i decided to buy her a gift. A new phone because she really wanted a new phone. I bought it and i installed a spyware on the phone so i could read every singel SMS, whatsapp, messenger and other things on her phone. I could even see on GPS where she was and i could hear her conversations and record them aswell. I could call the phone secretly without her phone actually ringing and listen to surround sounds.

Anyway i gave her the gift and she was thrilled over her new phone. And then i went back to my office and logged in and could see everything thing.

I was right about her cheating ofcourse. I went home and i was extremly calm and said "Listen to me, I give you 1 more chance to come clean. This is your last chance. If you come clean and tell me everything then i will let you go and you can do whatever you want. If you’ll continue to lie then i will do the following: 1. Take our 2 kids away from you, 2. make sure your loverboy wont ever be able to get his dick up again which will make you loose the interest in him anyway so why do you want to ruin his life, 3. make sure everyone finds out what a whore you are." I also told her that if she contuined to lie then i would prove it to her.

she continued to lie so i pulled up my phone and sent her one of the messages that she received from her lover.
She was stunned. And i asked her if she wanted me to send her anything else. She asked me tell me what you know. But i said that i wanted her to tell me what she has been doing.

She started to tell me that she had been seeing a guy for a while and they had been intimate and she also told me she had a sex affair with one of her best friends husbands since 7 months.

Anyway i decided to kick her out and let her take the kids because kids are more attached to their mom and i dont want to be selfish.

So a spyware in the phone is a very easy way to find out what is going on.
written by I won....., 14 February, 2012
Same story as many of you. My wife went out of town on a business trip last year. I asked to go and was told I could not because she was sharing a room with a co-worker. Three days before she left, she told me a friend was going to stay with her for the weekend of the business trip. After returning, I found out that my ex wife had the room to herself. She also had turned off the ringer on her phone and never left it out or her hand. I knew something had happened while she was gone and started looking into matters. I first looked at the phone records on line and saw a phone number from out of state. That took one week and there were many text and phone calls. After peeking at her phone I saw that she was deleting them. Second, I paid $50 and down loaded spy ware on her phone. That’s all it took. I never let her know about it. It only took a month to get what I needed to go to a lawyer. In doing so, I had all the information I needed. Her lovers name which I did a reverse phone look-up and paid to get his information. I found out that her friend also cheated on her husband while she was with my wife on her trip. After meeting with the lawyer, I gave her divorce papers with two options. 1. Walk away from our marriage and sign over the house and take nothing. 2. If she did not, I would tell her friends husband of his wife cheating and I would also go to the mans house and show and tell his wife all. Also, that I would drag her name through mud, show and tell her family, friends, co-workers, neighbors of all of this. She denied anything had happened. A few days latter, she told me she contacted my lawyer and told me she would walk away. I got the house, she did not get anything else. I plan, in a few months to go to her freinds husband and the man she was with wife and show the both of them the proof. My ex has told me a 1000 times she is sorry. To late for that. In the end I got the house and will ruin two marriages for mine. Sure, I physically want to hurt this guy. But I will hurt him more because he is married with a child and her friend is married with a child. Bitter sweet revenge with out having to lay a finger on anyone.
written by To Mariab..., 13 March, 2012
Mariab...if you are still reading this, you need to leave that church. Affairs, whether physical or emotional, can be overcome, but one absolute, no-negotiation, condition is no contact between offending parties. That includes between the other woman and your husband, as well as you should never have to go through the hurt of ever being within 5 miles of her. Its amazing that youve stuck around this long but the situation youre describing is just a cycle of re-abuse that is absolutely unjustified.

Think creatively of a reason, or just be honest (that will teach all offending parties involved to never do this again), but leave that church, NOW.
written by Real Man, 23 March, 2012
You guys make it too easy for wives to find other lovers. The fact of the matter is that women will seek out better deals. Better looking, better providing, better loving, more intelligent and so on. It is more about male inadequacy than anything else. To listen to the whining that babbles on endlessly about wives who have stepped out on their husbands is pathetic. The real man is the man who says nothing, but packs his shit and leaves because he knows his manhood has been obliterated and can never be recovered. All of this nonsense about getting over it is just that. If you can think it, they probably did it. Movies, dinner, romance, recreation and incredible sex. Chances are you wive has done shit with her lover that you can’t possibly imagine, and her network for support and conspiracy involves her friends and her family, especially if they can’t stand your ass. What is missing here as in all such blogs is what the men did to them to drive them to another’s arms. The beatings, the verbal abuse, their own cheating and lying. Men don’t talk about what they did because they need to be the victim.

Further, the truth is that the more you dig and confront and don’t leave, the bigger the pussy you are. While on the subject of confronting....big mistake. Chances are, he knows every fucked thing that you did to her. If you treated her family fucked up, he knows and guess what...he probably knows the size of your dick, and chances are your sexual inadequacy is also known...and that’s just for starters. If you’re a beater, he knows. If you’re broke he knows. If you lack table manners....he knows. He even knows what side of the bed you sleep on. All this talk about wanting to know is bull shit because its gonna come down to a few things...How many times they did it, where they did it, and where she placed her mouth. And if this is a long standing affair...the numbers can be staggering. What number is too big to get past? Ten, twenty, thirty, a hundred. Remember twice a month for two years is close to fifty times. The bottom line is simple. If you can afford to get out without losing your shirt, do so, cause you ain’t never gonna get past the images.
written by dwayne, 05 April, 2012
I suspected my wife was cheating with a family friend for years, she always said that it was just friendship, that men and women can be friends only, while I always said that men don’t think that way. He was always showing up at different places, family parties, etc. sometimes I did not even know he was invited. Rec’d an email regarding an electronic purchase warranty, that I did not purchase or receive as a gift and confronted her, said it was a appreciation gift for him for doing some maintenance work. I confronted and did not back down, she finally confessed to an affair of several years. I called him, told him to come and retrieve his girlfriend, he showed up.....told him what a piece of shit he was to be in my home, eat food with my family, and to be sticking his dick in my wife...told her to go, she did would not go. After that altercation he shrugged his shoulders and left. I know that I was not working hard on our relationship because of my suspicions and anger, decided that I would try counseling together and maybe by improving myself we would get back on track, but I am still very distrustful.Things have improved dramatically between us because I am trying harder to be more attentive, but I am still not over the whole betrayal and lies. I hope that time heals that.
written by Fake love, 15 April, 2012
Kudos to I won. I did the same thing as you. but I got more than you. My ex is paying me child support for 2 children. She also pays me alimony. And right now I am sleeping with her best friend that she has known since they were in the fourth grade. My ex is miserable but she deserves it. We were married for 12 years and I never cheated on her, I was completed faithful to her.
I loved her like no man can love a woman, but she cheated on me, and once they cheat one time they will do it again. So good riddance to you, you slut. I am enjoying your best friend now.
written by typhun, 27 May, 2012
to written by Only thing to do, 13 February, 2012

from where you get that spyware
written by Hurt Bad, 15 August, 2012
I found out 10 days ago that my wife of two years was having an affair with a guy who is 58 years old. She’s 37. We’ve only been married two years – yesterday was our anniversary – but we’ve been together for 18. I love her more than anything and really want to work things out. The only thing I can think about is killing this asshole and the two of them together. She swears its over. How can I ever trust her again?
I looked through her emails and that’s how I found out. We were going through some financial problems but I got a job in sales about a year ago. I was depressed before I found work and stressed out after I did. I’m sure it wasn’t the greatest two years for her, but cheating?
They had sex twice. We havent had sex in a few months. She’s never into it. She says she wants to work things out too.
I’m 42. I’ve devoted almost half of my life to her. She’s always been jealous. I’ve never ever cheated on her. She thinks I have and uses that as one one the reasons she did what she did. I always trusted her – like an idiot. I’m dieing here.
I feel like its too late for me to start my life over. I’ve had opportunities, but I was head over heels in love with here.
What should I do?
written by Bert619SD, 21 August, 2012
Once a cheater, always a cheater. I caught my GF replying to casual encounters ads THREE separate times, and each time I forgave her.

The trust is now completely gone.

Do yourselves the favor and move on. Don’t waste your time with a cheater.
written by Ridiculous, 11 September, 2012
You people don’t get it. It’s your WIFE. Blame the other guy all you want (and yes he is to blame), but she was married to YOU not HIM when she did this. Chances are if you do confront the other guy your WIFE will just continue to do it with another man. She is a cheater and liar for a reason. Why would you want HER after she did this to you is beyond a therapists comprehension. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Get rid of HER, avoid the confrontation, and find you a woman that deserves YOU.
written by Mansmind, 15 September, 2012
I found out recently not only is my wife divorcing me but during this time she has been seeing another man. Nightly he calls her until our divorce goes through. I feel helpless and want to beat him senselessly after I find out who he is. We have 2 children and she is talking to him in the same room on the phone as them constantly. I don’t know what to do. They have plans together I have found out. She says she doesn’t love me to justify it. I just want to hurt him as much as possible.
written by MCE, 04 November, 2012
Damn, I was totally shocked about a month ago when I found out my wife of 10 yrs was having what I believe to be an emotional affair, with another man. I am so confused and pissed because we have come a long way and was the last thing I expected. We have never been better in all aspects of our marriage just before this happened. She is getting aggravated with me not letting go, and she is doing everything she should be to convince me it will never happen again. But even though I am pissed at her I still find myself protecting her image, no one knows about this but me, I want an all out brawl against this guy, win or lose, but I have 2 adorable little girls and I don’t want their dad to go to jail, or one day know how their mom put our family in real jeopardy of being together. I am trying to forgive, and i am 100 percent sure nothing physical happened but I’m not sure it matters, I think back to everything that was going on during those 2 horrible months, cant look a pics, listen to certain songs because when she was taking those and listening to the songs it wasn’t me she was thinking about, I cant stand it, help me forgive someone please.
written by Please read, 18 November, 2012
Read all of the above looking for an answer – there is none – as each situation evolves around different personalities an circumstances – forget the OM – not the issue – he will get it in time for sure – whether you do it or not – he has it coming to him -do not waste your energy on him – you need it for other things. It hurts me greatly that my wife has a full blown affair – but it hurts me more the effect on 5 wonderful kids – I perhaps understand why she did it but cannot quite understand why she keeps doing it – she does not want me to have an affair – and wants me to stay with her – I am richer for the experience – but my kids are now damaged – and she does not even see it – why – because her mind is gone – I would rather my kids grow up with the knowledge their Mum is an adulterer rather than have a Mum they need to visit on a monthly basis in an asylum – As for the female whose post revolves around the male insecurity sorry darling you are totally wrong and only justifying your own broken mind – best relationships are long-term -seems to me you cannot even get by with one for more than a week or two – you are obviously not getting what you need – why – because you take rather than give – by the way your theory is rubbish – my wife tells me I am much better and bigger than the other guy – by the way she does not need to tell me – it pains me that she does – but I already know – Listen Guys – try not to react keep your kids and keep a family union even if your wife cannot cope – the truth is your eye wondered before she went off and did want you wanted to do – you eye is focused again – and that is your lesson- hard as it may be – -give it some time – then lay down some basics – your wife is irrational – they even think they can keep such things a secret – stupid, immature and pathetic behaviour which causes damage for generations to come -- be a man tough it out and support her in her time of need – give her every chance – make it her choice not your demand.

written by Wished I would have – probably glad I didn’t., 20 February, 2013
I caught my wife when her lover, a politician (shocker, right?), texted her about wanting to watch her run track with her female middle school students. This woman had (has?) a reputation of being a 1000% honest, loyal, small-town, conservative school teacher.
when I read that message on her locked home screen (not too tech savvy) I confiscated the phone, dug my heels in and read for the next 3-4 hours about 1/2 of the sordid details of their affair. By 3am or so I was tired of hanging out at the local McDonalds so I went home and wrote him from my wife’s phone. Straightforward yet polite with a hint of threat if he continued to fuck about. I then went upstairs woke up wifey telling her I wanted to read something to her. She was bleary eyed and pretty grumpy about it until I spoke. "Dear mr. Kennedy"........ Now I had her attention.
I expected a sob story apology but was surprised by an angry dressing down about how I made her do this. BULLSHIT! I took the phone against her will and holed up in my office where I continued reading and taking screenshots of every word. Based on what I had originally read I was under the impression that they never got together, despite her tenacious attempts to do so, but I was wrong as I discovered while finishing my read. The whole night (now 6:30 am) she had been banging on my office door, threatening to call the police (for what???). After I confirmed that they had consummated their relationship I went back into the house, where she was waiting, arms folded with a scowl on her face, and asked her again if they had ever had sex. She confirmed that they had NOT had sex. I confronted her with the conversation where she "couldn’t wait for him to touch her again" and she got me again. "OK, we did, but just once". I laughed and laughed.

I was crushed by the discovery that this woman who I believed was as honest as anyone ever could be was just another lying, cheating piece of shit.

I confronted him and thought seriously about hiring a local thug I am acquainted with to do my dirty work. I regret not doing it but I add the caveat that if you invite someone like my acquaintance into your life thee will be severe consequences to doing so. These people don’t become psychopaths because thy are forthright or play well with others. These people are highly insecure and deal with their insecurities with control through violence.

To make a long story not as long as....... I am working it out with her (we have kids) but against her wishes have kept every screenshot of every conversation they had. I confronted him and let him know thru my lawyer that what I have is considered public domain as are his work/travel records, which are fraught with expenditures paid for by citizens of the state of California spent not on state business but on monkey business. I will not hesitate to ruin both of them if nothing changes. They have possibly ruined my marriage and my children’s opportunity to grow up with two loving parents. Fair trade I say.

Maintain your power. Don’t be cruel unless that is your nature. Get what you want. Be specific. Make demands and follow thru with ant consequence you may infer.

Don’t be a sucker. Don’t ever believe that bullshit about "you made me do this". "I would have never done this if it weren’t for your............". I am not this person, you turned me into this.
Your small-town "good-girl" might not be all she’s cracked up o be.

Thanks for letting me vent. Hang in there.
written by revengeissweet., 06 March, 2013
Going through the same thing. Wife of 30 years has had an emotional sexual affair for 10 years with a divorced POS guy down the road that was supposed to be a friend. What a real friend. Of course she denies anything is happening. Their (friends).... HA! I feel like hiring someone to put him in the hospital for weeks. I want to destroy his life like he destroyed mine. But the more I thought about it I asked myself. Do I really want a cheating and lying POS wife in my life again that I will never be able to trust again? I blame her now more than him. She could have said no to him. So now our family is destroyed thanks to her. I hope she feels the guilt forever and someone does the same thing to her... I will NEVER give her the divorce she wants.... She will live forever with other guys while shes married to me. HA!

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