Past Comments – I think my husband gave me an std

written by blank, 27 March, 2008

Well as my story is similar, I found out the Very hard way that my "wonderful" husband of ten years has cheated... by way of STD test results! Although the STD is treatable and I will be fine health wise, it’s the cheating part that really gets me. He’s of course denied it, and has no idea how he got this STD he’s given me. And of course has never been with anyone else?!?!?!?!
The medical facts say that he’s a LIAR. However I have never been suspicious of him and our relationship has been really great for the whole marriage. Not by any means perfect but we have tons of fun together and we have a good sex life, we laugh a lot and travel together as frequently as possible.
At this point I really do want to believe that he’s being truthful with me but the medical facts say otherwise....
Confused

written by lost molly, 15 April, 2008

I have been married for 33 yrs and I contracted trich. I was with my mom a lot for health reasons in and out of the hospital. My husband swears he doesn’t know how I got it. I just wish he would be honest with me. Everything I have read says sexual contact is the only way to get it. I feel your pain! And I don’t know what to do either.

written by unanamous, 04 July, 2008

My husband had to confess to cheating on me, because he discovered he had Herpes, and decided it would be nice to let me know I had it too. He was cheating on me for 5years of our 7year marriage. He cheated on me with prostitutes. My only indication of infidelity was 2 years ago, I found a girls number in his pocket. He later(after several days) of thinking of a good excuse, told me he had asked her out, but never called. It stinks, we have two kids. It’s amazing how selfish people can be.

written by Hurt and Confused, 08 July, 2008

Wow so many of us. I have been with my husband 7 years and just found out today I have an STD. I am also pregnant. He is trying to say we must have had it for years (a lie, I just had a test 15 months ago with my last pregnancy and it was all neg.) I have never even looked at another man. I am so lost and don’t know what to do.

written by Cha-Cha, 18 July, 2008

Hello Ladies,
I, too, like you have been infected with an STD (trich). I just found out yesterday, and I am so hurt, and feel so stupid, because I relaxed and finally began to trust my boyfriend of 18 months. It hurts so even more, because before I found out about the STD the @#$*** had the nerve to break up with me! I am hurting over here! Now, I need to tell him, and I think that he is going to think that this is only my way of getting to see him. He broke up with me in a text message. I thought he was my friend; on my team. What the heck! I am disappointed more than anything, because he turned out to be a punk and not the man that I thought he was. Big, 6’5" undercover SWAT man. To top it off I found out that he is also married. His wife had been in another state taking care of her ill mother! ! ! I swear I want to expose him, but I am going to leave revenge to fate. I know now that I must not be the only other women, so someone else is sure to get him!
I’m sorry for all of us. Hey, you all be strong. We’ll get through this one long day a night at a time. But this too shall pass!!!

written by Mister Luls, 19 August, 2008

This is what happens when you look for a big hunky money grubbing alpha male. You get a man who can screw whoever he wants and will pass the STDs around.

written by Mississippi Belle, 03 September, 2008

Well, my story may be the worst. Married for 29 years, just recently diagnosed with the worst strain of HPV there is which causes cervical cancer. Please research this. I didn’t know. I have cervical cancer thanks to my loving, cheating husband. I had no idea he was cheating. We have a nice house, he is respected, we have beautiful, accomplished daughters, we HAD the perfect marriage. He has now sentenced me to death. HPV does not lie dormant in the body for 29 years. He picked it up during the last two years. I tested positive for a low grade strain three years ago... the kind that resolves itself. This strain kills you. No one in the world is aware of how dangerous this STD is. I don’t understand. What is ironic is that my two adult daughters have always said that "Daddy adores you. We hope our husbands love us as much." Daddy may adore me, but he has handed me a death sentence. When my doctor told me that I was hpv positive and had pre-cancer cells and now cancer cells, I told my husband to get out of my house. He swears he didn’t cheat, but science busted him. I would never have known. Now, I’m sure he is hiding his money, but I’ll get it. It’s just I’m 58 years old and this is going to be tough. No, I will never forgive him or take him back. I can make it on my own. I just wish I had known that he cheated. I would have left a long time ago.

written by A., 11 October, 2008

Well, I just got home from the urgent care center where the Doctor is quite certain I have trich. Mind you, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years and he swears up and down he’s never cheated on me. SWEARS UP AND DOWN! Meanwhile, the test results have yet to come back – have to wait a few days for those. The doctor told me not to do anything crazy until I get those back, as things like this can ruin marriages, as he put it. Still, I informed my boyfriend of the events and told him that if he’s not guilty, then we have nothing to worry about and the results should come back negative.
Still hard to relax, though.
I specifically asked the doc if it could be contracted any other way or is it just specifically through sex and he said it is only transmittable through sex. And I have ONLY been with my boyfriend. And I was tested BEFORE he and I got together and everything was fine. So, if I get this test back and it comes up as positive – what does that mean?
That he cheated on me?

written by polyanna, 18 October, 2008

Are there any condoms in these pictures? If you love someone you can still be with them and use condoms with them. If you sneak around on someone then condoms are definitely required. Every encounter without a condom is Russian Roulette with your LIFE. How come this conversation is not coming to the forefront?

written by crazy with doubts, 10 November, 2008

I am so happy I have found others with the same situation as me; nothing else I have found on the internet mentions this side of it.

I noticed "bumps" on my husband about 2yrs back and thought nothing of it; they have increased in number and have gotten larger; from the pics I have seen I am certain it is GW (HPV). It is almost a year I have asked him to be checked for this; not mentioning what I thought this could be.. I have made an appointment with my doctor to be checked; but if these results are positive, we have been married 14yrs; I find it VERY hard to believe that this can lie dormant for this long.

I have asked him about being with others and has denied it time and time again; what a way to find out the truth!!

written by FeelingStupid, 12 November, 2008

Well ladies I have you all beat for the biggest dummy award! My husband has given me an STD 3 times! Oh yes 3! The last one I found out about on my birthday. Let me tell you something, if he did it once, no matter what he’s telling you, he will do it again so LEAVE NOW! Understand that you have been living a lie so what ever beautiful picture you have in your mind as the "before" he had an affair... get rid of it! That picture NEVER existed! He has been playing you smooth which why you believe it can still work. He will say ANYTHING to keep you around and believe me, the next time you may not be so lucky as to only contract a curable STD. You also have to understand that 9 out of 10 times, this is NOT his first time cheating on you, this is just the first time you found out. I wish you all the best. Your "man" is cheating with loose women (he’s loose too) and everyone he sleeps with, you sleep with and everyone the person he’s slept with sleeps with, you have both slept with. Gross right?
Jump ship the first time and don’t end up like me or that poor women with cancer from contracting HPV.
I’m running for the hills ladies, it’s a bumpy ride but I’d rather deal with those bumps than ones on my genitals or hide!

written by crazy with doubts, 17 November, 2008

I though I would give an update... I finally managed to get my husband to seek medical advice after I mentioned I was.

Ladies..Please..have him seek reliable medical advice..My husband went into an emergency medical clinic; was not given a complete, thorough exam.. and his cauliflower like, skin colored, "bumps"(typical symptoms of GW) were diagnosed as skin tags, and burnt off. He then came home angry saying that no, he did not give me an STD.

I am not a doctor, but I am sure IT IS GW..And he has been misdiagnosed; I still have my own appointment; but meanwhile my proof has run out the door; and of course he still denies it.

written by WHY DID I GET MARRIED, 27 November, 2008

I’m glad to see that I’m not alone. Back in September, I accused my husband of a co worker because I found a secret cell phone that only had her number in it. And worst of all, I found out that I was pregnant by him in October. My doctors informed me that I had trick. Of course, he denies everything like most married men. I’ve been with this man for 14 years and never thought that this would happen to us. I can’t believed I trusted him this long. I now feel like a fool.

written by Heather Ann, 20 December, 2008

I’m pregnant with my first baby with my husband of 3 months. We had gotten pregnant before we got married. Just a few days ago I was in the hospital with pre-term labor because the doc said that I have TRICH! My husband has been the only man I have EVER slept with and he has slept with many.
I was tested when I first got pregnant and six months prior to pregnancy and I had no STD. Now, I have one and I’m so scared of giving it to my son during delivery.
I think he’s cheated on me because one of his ex-girlfriends wrote me an e-mail saying that he was still in love with her and two letters he wrote her while he was in bootcamp! We were together then, engaged and pregnant, and I love him.
I’m just so darn pissed because he keeps swearing to God (and he doesn’t even believe in Him!-I do) that he hasn’t cheated on me and that he would tell me if he has because our son is at risk.
I don’t know what to do. Help...

written by Antionette, 14 January, 2009

My husband and I have been together for twelve years and married for the last four. My husband came and confessed to me that he had found out from the doctor that he had herpes. He also had to admit of the infidelity that he committed through out our relationship. After going to the doctor, it was confirmed that he had actually given it to me. I prayed and stuck in my marriage to try to overcome any bad. In the last year I had actually forgiven him for the betrayals and the std that I was stuck with for life. Recently he told me that he needed to let me go so that I could be happy. REALLY!! He had the nerve to leave my child and I because he thought it would be best for us. I’m really hurt right now. confused and disappointed. I mean I hung in there with him through thick and thin and then he pulls this on me. I feel that he is a coward and weak. I know with prayer I will get through it. What thing I do know is, what goes around comes around.

written by Never Again too Broken, 22 January, 2009

My wonderful husband also infected me with HPV & GW, a year after he died. So, I was cheated on, infected and widowed-much more has happened other than this. I was with him 14 yrs I NEVER cheated, didn’t think he would, last person I would ever suspect. Today I get to go to the 0bgyn to have them cut off and some burned off. I live with a constant reminder of this, and he’s dead now. I trusted a friend with all of this, we had an argument-the first yr after all this, I was pretty depressed-evil me, anyway she now threatens to tell everyone about this and I know she already has to some. Due to his selfishness I will never be the same again. I will go on, but I am no longer myself. I don’t trust anyone, after all, look what my husband and best friend did to me.

written by sad mum of 2, 24 January, 2009

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years now. Almost a year ago he walked out on me as we had not been getting on for a long time. A few days later I found out that he was seeing someone else. He said he had only just got with her (likely story)! We sorted things out and got back together a few weeks later but this girl kept ringing and pestering us. A few weeks later I then I found out I had contracted an STD. My husband swore blind that he had only ever kissed this girl her but I knew the medical evidence was right. I told him that he couldn’t deny the proof but he still says to this day that he never slept with her. The thing is I know that he obviously did otherwise he wouldn’t have contracted the STD in the first place. I’ve learned to live with the fact that he will never tell me the truth because I actually do love him. Our life with our 2 beautiful children is really good now and we have grown closer but I still have this thought on my mind a lot of the time. If he can lie about this he could lie about anything. Why do we allow ourselves to be treated like this?

written by...., 06 February, 2009

I have been with the same man for the last 12 years, since i was 15 years old. We got married 3 years ago after the both of us decided to become saved Christians. He cheated on me before when we were younger, but he was a changed man after he accepted Christ. We went without sex for 2 years before getting married because we wanted a "fresh" start. I became pregnant in July but have several bleeding episodes, doctors advised against sex because my husband is very endowed and I can have a miscarriage. Well now I am 7 months pregnant and just found out I have contracted Trick and Herpes. 4 months ago in October 1st all test were negative, now I have a disease I can’t get rid of. Thing is we only had sex twice since Oct 1st, because of the bleeding and the advisement of the doctors. So basically I caught these disease on Oct22, or Nov15. I am so hurt, disgraced and ashamed. I never cheated always been loyal to him. why me? He denied the cheating at first. But then I called his mother and told her. After she talked to him, he broke down in tears. He felt ashamed in front of his mother, but not me. In fact he acted like he was upset with me for several days because I didn’t want to comfort him! He told me that he was having an affair with some woman from is previous job. The woman has 5 children by different men, that is a signal to wear a condom right there! He said she looked "clean" and have her tubes tied, that’s why he didn’t use a condom with her.
I am scared that my baby will be affected by all of this. everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage. But its all a lie. His mother even told me that her son is a good man, and if I don’t want him, some other woman will and I need to work it out. What!?!?!?!

written by Confused_12, 23 February, 2009

Ladies I understand the issue at hand I’ve been with my guy for 8 yrs on and off 2 yrs ag I found out he gave me an STD I asked him about it he said no we weren’t together at the time and the STD could be transmitted via skin contact so not necessarily say he didn’t use a condom I’m the only person he "raw dogs" however I got to the dr a few days ago to my luck...it’s back I ask him about he says that when I told him 2 years ago he thought I was lieing so he never got treated!!!! Now I have PID as well!!!however just to let you all know when u get tested for STD by your dr they only test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV you have to request to get tested for everything else so when I told him about trich 2 yes ago n he went to get tested n came back negative it’s because drs don’t test u for it unless u show symptoms and many men are asymptomatic.. Just a thought

written by saddened, 06 March, 2009

My husband recently confessed to me that he struggled with homosexuality during college. I have known him since I was 13, I am 23 now. We have been in some type of relationship since I was 15. I am a Christian, and so is he. After much prayer over the past 6 months, God has been giving me that nagging gut wrenching feeling. You know ladies, the one that we all know, and hate to get. After much pressure he finally confess that he’d struggled with homosexuality during college. He says that they are only thoughts, but I don’t believe him. I moved out the following weekend. We just got married a few years ago. His family is mad at me because they feel I am abandoning their son. They too say he is a good man, and I believed them. My family and I believe the health risk is too great to stay in the marriage. Sadly, I filed for a divorce. I’m pretty depressed because I really love him, but I don’t want him to destroy me. He says he didn’t tell me because he repressed it and thought he’d overcome it. I don’t know what else he repressed. Am I wrong for leaving?

written by Madder than hell at Husband!, 25 March, 2009

I’ve been married less than two years to a Narcissistic POS! While in Florida where we live, I started getting ill, he immediately pushes me to "visit" family out west. Approx. 3 days later, he e-mails that he’s divorcing me. My marriage was full of emotional, physical and psychological abuse and I wanted out for over a year but listened to my folks and tried to "work it out". I went to an OBGYN the other day due to all the pain and the obvious and it’s all bad news. I don’t have just one I have a few and I’m still getting tested for more! This man claims to be religious, holds a gov job, and yes, is handsome as hell but I’ve found out so much on him, it’s sickening! I recently learned he was suppose to marry another woman only 2 weeks before me! It’s like he’d been shopping and putting us on the side to see which one he could pick from and I was the unlucky one! Everything he ever told me was a lie. I even fond out that he cheated on his previous wife he was divorced from 5 years earlier! He’s been flying all over the place, throughout the US, Canada and others looking for "wives" and obviously "trying them out" while visiting them. I can only image what all my tests will be.

My divorce attorney states that I now have a tort case against him for damages, pain and suffering and you can bet that I am going to fillet him! He told me he stayed in the marriage to take my business from me, he has no idea who he has messed with!

I blame myself for jumping into this marriage too fast but I blame him for being such a pig and scumbag! I for one will not take this lying down and I plan on fighting him the whole way and I will teach him a lesson!

written by bitter in texas, 08 April, 2009

.... my "wonderful" husband... cheated on me... But I found out because we were trying to conceive our 2nd child and I went in for a pap and a pregnancy test, and the only thing that came back positive was CHLAMYDIA ( SP) he lied and lied until i pulled out the proof, then he told me it was a one night stand.. which I could care less about. This happened 2 days ago.. I AM A BITTER BITCH right now, and Need to know what are the stages I am about to go through. and we have a 3 year old daughter to make it even harder.

written by very bitter in texas, 21 May, 2009

My husband and I had been married going on six years. In sept 2005 I noticed I was having a discharge and odor. I went to the Dr. and she asked me if I wanted to get tested for std’s. I was like, I don’t really need to but if you want to that was fine ( was totally confident that I had nothing to worry about) YEAH RIGHT.
i ALSO WAS CONSIDERING HAVING ANOTHER BABY AT THE TIME AND WENT TO GET CHECKED OUT. SO I DID THE TEST AND WENT HOME NOT THINKING ANYTHING OF IT. WELL, ON SEPT. 21 0R 22,2005 I WAS AT WORK GETTING READY TO EVACUATE DUE TO HURRICANE RITA I GOT A CALL AND WAS TOLD I HAD CLYMIDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS DEVASTATED AND IN DENIAL.DO YOU KNOW THAT SOB KEPT DENYING IT AND EVEN GOT PISSED AT THE DOCTOR WHO DIAGNOSED ME. FINALLY HE ADMITTED HE DID IT. THE SAD THING IS, I HAD TO EVACUATE W/ THIS SOB. I AM STILL W/ MY HUSBAND TODAY FOR MY CHILD SAKE. IT IS NOT HIS FAULT HIS DADDY IS F*#$** UP. AND HE WOULD BE DEVASTATED IF ME AND HIS DADDY WERE NOT IN THE SAME HOUSE. I AM SO SAD AND EMPTY. JUST CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW HE COULD HURT EVEN POSSIBLY KILL (YES I SAID KILL, IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, A MAN WITH A PENIS IS A DEADLY WEAPON.) YOUR LIFE COULD BE OVER JUST LIKE THAT AND YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG

written by no name, 07 July, 2009

My boyfriend and I have been together two years and his ex wife told him after three years of not being with her she has HPV. Anyway I went to the doctor and I had an abnormal pap and they told me I have HPV. I so insulted my boyfriend answered I did not give you anything you probably got it from your ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile his ex-wife told us two months age she had it. MY pap test last year was normal but I was with him only six months then. The doctor told me it may have not shown up because I was not with him long enough. My boyfriend is made at me and he thinks his ex wife has nothing and she is innocent one. I have been clean all my life and I am a 44 year old woman I am about to tell him to get lost! help what does someone think

written by JJ_sad, 20 July, 2009

I’m on of those many husbands that have cheated and brought an STD on my pregnant wife, I’m extremely remorseful and I don’t find a way to accept to my wife that I’ve deceived her, lied and cheated on her, I don’t want to lose her, and I’m afraid that telling the truth will end up in divorce, she is the most beautiful and perfect woman on this planet and she doesn’t deserve this. I really wish I was better and could change my stupid cave man habits, it could be that there’s someone better for her that will treat her like the flower she is. My only hope is that she will forgive me, if she doesn’t I won’t promise but I will be the man that she deserves.

written by Pissed Off, 28 July, 2009

Short version:

I went to the Dr.on Friday to get a check up and decided to have the entire scope of std tests done just because I’ve always been diligent about doing so. Boom! The lady comes back and gave me 4 pills to swallow and an envelope with 4 additional pills for later that day. She told me I had trich and possibly chlamydia (results are pending). I had a freaking panic attack on the way home and was chocking back vomit from the 4 pills (zithromax) that I had choked down on an empty stomach. I called my fiance whom I’ve been with for 3 years home from the grocery store and told him what happened and he immediately scheduled an exam for himself- I have never cheated on him and I’m 100% sure he’s been faithful to me. He was examined yesterday and was diagnosed with NGU – no trich or chlamydia! So now we’re both confused and looking at each other sideways! WTF? The info sheets that they gave us all listed the same causes/risk factors/symptoms – but is it possible that trich can lay dormant in men? I made sure to get tested twice after my last boyfriend- who I broke up with about 1 1/2 years before I met my current guy. I always make sure to establish these checkpoints and show paperwork so that there are no questions going into a new relationship-- but look at what happened anyway. Learn from me- if you’re not making your guy get tested as well, it doesn’t really matter how well you take care of yourself!!

The worst part of it all is the sickening despair and betrayal that us as women feel when we find out that we have been deceived in the worst way-- and can’t really talk about it to anyone we care about because of the shame and embarrassment! Since Friday, I’ve been coasting between complete hilarity (joking about it every time we speak)and full on rage (contemplating driving his car into the river). I after the initial shock was over I said that I was gonna move forward and not let this stop me, but I’m SO glad I found this forum because I was ready to print a batch of fliers and pass them out around the neighborhood!

Anyway, I’m thinking he must have passed it on to me a while ago as I have remained asymptomatic- but what about him- why didn’t it show in his results? Am I crazy or am I being humped by a diseased ghost in my sleep or should I pull out the knife that my dad gave me for my birthday and keep him from infecting anyone else?

Oh btw, don’t be alarmed if your pee turns red- it’s from the antibiotics and it clears up in a few days...yep the good doc forgot to pass that little pearl of wisdom on to me! Once I picked myself up off of the floor and mopped up the spilled pee, everything was A-ok! LOL

Best Wishes Ladies! Wow, that’s not really appropriate but you know what I mean!

written by EA, 30 July, 2009

I found out last wk that I have an STD. I’m 150% sure I’ve been faithful therefore, I know he hasn’t. he didn’t deny it, which is the least he could do, but claims it was a 1-night-stand last fall when he went to visit his mother. I don’t know if I believe him though. I’ve always had that gut-wrenching feeling that he was cheating, too bad I couldn’t have found a girl’s # or something like that....NOOOOO.... I had to find out through the department of health... So painful & embarrassing. We’ve had infertility issues & were getting ready for IVF after 6 yrs of trying, now not only has he brutally beat up our relationship he also possibly destroyed the possibility of ever beign parents. I do think I want a divorce b/c now I’m scared he’ll give me another STD, but I also still love him. I don’t know what to do. There are sooo many things going through my mind. Wish everyone else good luck.

written by So Disillusioned, Sad, Full of Rage, 06 August, 2009

I have been married for 23 years. In January, 2009 I had a PAP smear and it came back that I had been "exposed" to HPV. I didn’t understand and thought that I had it and was going to get cancer. I didn’t even know it was a sexually transmitted degree (and I have a doctorate degree). When I asked my husband if he was fooling around and I told him that I had been exposed to the disease, he denied everything and asked me when did I think he had time to fool around. He then suggested maybe I was fooling around. Three months later, I was going over the bills to do a loan mod and I found all of these porno charges and hotel bills on his bank statements. Long story short, he admitted that he had been having an affair for over a year with some illegal alien bimbo that he met at the DMV (he is an engineer)I guess as long as it has two you-know-whats and a P**** that is all that matters to these men. They will F*** anything. After a week of crying, sleepless nights and hating him, I forgave him. He promised me that he had never slept with anyone else and that the affair had been over with months before. Well, one month later I found out (when she emailed him on his blackberry) that he had also been with at least two prostitutes and he had sex with the DMV whore two days before I discovered the bank statements. That means he went back to her to have sex, even after he knew that he had exposed me to HPV. These men are sick. Don’t believe that BS about laying dormant. If your PAPs are negative and then suddenly positive, your scumbag husband is cheating. I NEVER NEVER thought mine was a cheater. He was living a double life. Mine would not even tell the truth when confronted with it. He had no remorse WHATSOEVER until he was caught and told divorce was imminent. I now believe that no man can be monogamous. It is not in their nature. The women who believe their husbands aren’t cheating just haven’t found out about it yet.

written by Im pissed off too, 20 August, 2009

@ Pissed Off: Girl we sound like twins! I had the same exact thing happen to me. I went in for a std panel and BOOM it came back positive for trich AND chlamydia. Of course my wonderful fiance denied it initially but that a**hole finally fessed up. To top things off he went to the doctor’s on Monday and the test results came back positive for chlamydia and negative for trich. WTF? How the hell did he only test positive for one and not the other. I told him he needs to take his a** back for a second opinion because that shady doctor of his evidentally didn’t know what the hell he was doing when he took the sample. I am totally confused because I have been completely faithful to him. This sucks. I feel better that I found this forum so I know I’m not alone. It’s just so hard to deal with knowing that someone you love could do something like this to you. It hurts and it stinks. I’m so sorry for everyone that has had to go through this. Wish you ladies well and hopefully we will never have to go through this again.

written by Kindred Spirit, 22 August, 2009

I’ve gone through the same thing. I’m a Lab Tech. I’m the one who processes samples submitted for STD analysis. I do know that Trich is harder to detect in men than in women.

written by Diva B, 27 August, 2009

Thank you for sharing and helping me get through my own ordeal. My husband is in the Marines, but stationed at a school in VA. (geographically separated at the moment). I found out he has been cheating on me while there -- not only with fellow students, but people he met over the internet, and yes, you guessed it, swears up and down he hasn’t messed around! I found out via our credit card that he had an STD test this week. So, if he’s so innocent, then why the need for a test, and not tell me????!!! To protect myself, I, in turn, went in to get a test. The most humiliating experience for a married woman (married 13 years) and since I have never been with anyone else but him, I know if the test results come back positive tomorrow, he gave it to me.

I managed to call the testing center myself and get HIS results today. His Herpes test is "inconclusive" and he needs to be retested. So far, everything else is negative, but waiting on syphilis and Gonorrhea. I have to wait to find out mine before confronting him. But I can tell you, I’m sure he has it -- due to a "bump" I found on my vagina two months ago.

The gut-kicker is WHY they don’t fess up and tell us?? I feel so betrayed, abused, made to feel like a fool. I despise the fact that he thinks I’m stupid and that I don’t know what he’s up to.

I resent that he placed my life and health at risk. And the fact that he lives a double life -- being a Sunday School teacher on the weekend and so-called doting husband while here on the weekends -- but living the "single, swinging" life while in VA.

I know I’m "preaching to the choir" to all of you, but its a relief to know I’m not the only one suffering with an SOB of a husband. I’m saddened how this will affect our children -- as he’s supposed to be their role model.

Yes, I’m bitter and have a long way to go to get that trust back.

written by A woman who believed too much until..., 29 August, 2009

My story is just like the one from above so I just cut and pasted her story. The only exceptions are I have a high strain of HPV and all the DNA numbers are cancerous, I was married for 30 years, it was not perfect, and my kids, daughter and son, who are adults were right on the money they warned me he was a narcissistic man who only wanted to satisfy his needs. They have no contact with their dad because he hurt them by being a big bully while they were going up. My kids are my idols and great supports for me. I am blessed with that in my life.

My ex husband lied until his last day in our home. He told me he didn’t tell me the truth because he didn’t want to hurt me. I guess having the man that you have been with for 30 years giving you a STD in not considered hurting me. It was all for him and too bad it took me to get sick to realize it has to be for me now.
Copied post from above-
(Married for 29 years, just recently diagnosed with the worst strain of HPV there is which causes cervical cancer. Please research this. I didn’t know. I have cervical cancer thanks to my loving, cheating husband. I had no idea he was cheating. We have a nice house, he is respected, we have beautiful, accomplished daughters, we HAD the perfect marriage. He has now sentenced me to death. HPV does not lie dormant in the body for 29 years. He picked it up during the last two years. I tested positive for a low grade strain three years ago... the kind that resolves itself. This strain kills you. No one in the world is aware of how dangerous this STD is. I don’t understand.)

written by Apol, 30 August, 2009

I feel really sad to all of you reading your stories.
You all deserve to be treated better than you have been and us Women should support each other more, talk more and educate those that dont know about these issues.
We are stronger than men anyway thats why we live longer

written by Makino, 03 September, 2009

Wow! I’m so happy that I found this site. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mind is in total disarray. My story is very similar to everybody. My husband and I have been together for 11 years and have been having problem for the past few years. A year ago he wanted to be separated and do his own things but still want to live in the same house as I am. Like I fool I was, who really loves him, I agreed that thinking maybe we need some space and needs to heal because of the years of hurting each other. We get along fine and do stuff like a regular family. He travels a lot. Although I told him that I will agree with our set up as long as there’s no third party involve or another word, NO CHEATING! He agreed and mentioned that it’s not his priority right now. Abd I believe him. We still have sex all the time because I love him, and wanting to prove to him that our marriage will work out. Little that I know when he came back from his recent trip he would give me something. I thought I was just a UTi and went to my obgyn. I found out that I was tested positive for chlamydia! I never had sex with anyone other than him. He’s the only person i had sex with, and I have an STD. One of my reasons is having sex with him bec. I think I’ll be safe. Too bad...he’s the one who gave me an STD. Now I’m confused. Because he said he’s sorry and wants to be with me and doesn’t want to let me go. I don’t know what to do. I love him still but I’m confused. I always tell myself that if he cheated, then I’ll leave him. But I didn’t. Then he if I was tested positive for an STD I’ll definitely leave him. But since it’s positive and admitted that he messed around with one of his trips with a prostitute, I want to leave. But he said he’s sorry and really a changed man. And I want to forgive him. But my gut feeling is just RUN! Help.

written by Pissed Off, 19 September, 2009

Hi Makino!

I know it’s hard to deal with, and I’d never tell someone who I don’t know to leave their relationship, but if you’re going to stay with him you HAVE to use protection. Just make sure you’re mentally prepared going in to this situation because the ball is definitely in your court. Be careful though, because men sometimes have a sneaky way of invalidating your feelings and making you feel guilty for some of the dumb shit that they do! Tell him that if he wants to be with you, then he should make every effort to regain your trust- and tell him specifically what it is that you need to regain that trust.

As far as sex goes, I’d be very careful. We sometimes try to find ways to forgive a cheating spouse when it is discovered that he has a woman on the side. And I know that cheating is cheating, but for him to lay down with a PROSTITUTE and expose you to potentially deadly diseases is unacceptable. In this case forgive and forget could cost you your life. Be very careful about the decisions you make now that the trust has been broken. Often times men think that your forgiveness makes it okay to jump out there again. My advice to you would be to draw the line and decide just how much you’re willing to put up with. At this point it’s no longer about him. Think about your well being and your children. We spend so much time stressing about these dumb guys that we forget to take care of ourselves. We become angry women who neglect those who are most important because we’re so focused on fixing a relationship that is beyond repair. No matter what you decide, I think counseling could help. Sometimes having a neutral party to talk to can help you put things in perspective. I wish you all the best!!! I’m thinking it’s time for me to change my screen name!!

written by Pregnant and pissed, 29 September, 2009

I just found out today that my husband gave me either chlamydia or gonorrhea (the tests are still pending). He confessed when I returned home from the doctors and told him her thoughts. When I told my dr that he went to the dr and was prescribed Doxy, she said "oh that’s not good." How embarrassing! He was funny this morning because he was telling me all about how the STDs can lay dormant for years. Reading through this blog, I see that is very common among cheating men. I am pissed because I have a 15 month old and am 4 months pregnant. Both of these diseases can cause harm to an unborn child. He tells me he contracted the STD by getting a blow job while I was away. Do not really believe that is all he got but who cares now, it is over and done with. I just feel bad for my son and my unborn child. Definitely not taking that scumbag back

written by SB3ZZY, 05 October, 2009

Hey I just found out today that my husband of 9 months has an STD. I am not sure how to take it and he has had to long before we got married. I never knew of it today and I have never cheated on him. But I am worried now that if I do have it that I will not know what to do. I love my husband but I am not sure that after this I can see myself staying with him. It hurts a lot to know that I trusted him and he not tell me. And what makes it so bad we are both in the military and there is no telling how many girls that he has really been with before me or when I was here working in Korea. I need help what should I do?

written by Justdiagnosed, 14 October, 2009

Yea I’m a male and after reading some of your stories I just want to say how sorry I am to hear them but anyways I don’t know anything about trich never even heard about it until now but I do know about hpv because I’ve recently been diagnosed with genital warts ladies what you need to know is that hpv can lay dormant for 29 years some people can go their entire lifetime without having symptoms or a single out brake. Hpv is the most common STD in the united states, and there is no cure for the disease a healthy immune system may be able to fight off the virus on it’s own. I have been diagnosed with genitals warts after not having sex for nearly two years. I shared my news with my girlfriend and we are both taking protective measures to ensure that I don’t spread the disease to her. I love my girlfriend so much and would not be able to live with myself if she were to get cervical cancer. Genital warts are manageable and there are many treatments for it. Although the warts can be removed your skin will still harbor the virus meaning that there’s a chance the warts can return, and there’s also the possibility that you’ll live the rest of your life without another outbreak or no outbreak at all. Ladies if you doc tells you you have hpv do some research before you go making accusations. Again the virus can lay dormant for years even a lifetime. I hope this helps

written by was PiSsEd OfF..., 05 November, 2009

My boyfriend of 5 years exposed me to chlamydia while I was 4 months pregnancy with his child. When I went to the doctor to have the normal STD test ran while I was pregnant, I was so sure that everything was fine. I was at work, when I received the call that the doctor wanted the number to a pharmacy...my response was what for...then the lady told me that I had tested positive for chlamydia. I called the nasty f&#^er,and of course he denied it...that he has never cheated. I told him what it was and he was unaware of the disease, so i told him to ask one of the nurses that are in his family(auntie)....well he had it...i tried to kill his a**.

My thought process at the time was he had no respect for me and my body, and our unborn child..and even after all the I love You crying, I had no love for him.

I put him out and we have had no contact...I just recently found out that he has contracted another STD of different form. I am just glad that I no longer deal with him.

Point I am trying to make is if your faithful man is able to bring you a curable disease, he is still exposing you to one that has no cure. (HPV, HIV,AIDS) and even to lead to death all over some minutes of unprotected sex. Think about yourself. I know it is hard, trust me I know after years invested but love yourself more. Especially if you have kids to raise.

written by Am I married to a cheater?, 12 November, 2009

I found out about a month ago I had an abnormal pap smear. I just had a colscopy and found out I was HPV positive. I have been married for 19 years and been exclusive to my husband for 21 years. I have never had an abnormal pap and have three children with him. The Dr.’s office called yesterday and told me my biopsy results were high risk and I need to have the LEEP procedure done. I’m having a really hard time accepting this and really feel my husband has cheated on me, but of course he insists he didn’t. What are the chances of this being dormant for over 20 years? I don’t think it’s possible! Any input would be appreciated, because my gut feeling is he’s cheated on me and I have so much anxiety and want to get to the bottom of this nightmare!

written by FeelinGuilty, 01 December, 2009

I feel so bad for all of you. I am not a wife, but I am a woman who has been seeing a married man for 4 yrs. It took almost a year to find out he was married and then his wife was off with family for almost the whole time of our relationship so we spent a lot of time together. I had been seeing other men on and off because i was tryin to break away from him. I just found out yesterday I have an std and I didnt want to tell him cause he would be mad but i forced myself to not because of him but for his family. He went and took care of it last nite, but i sit here in wonder what, if anything, he told hos wife. I honestly dont see him saying anything to her and that is messed up in so many ways, but who knows maybe he did tell her some lie and i really hope she is dumb enough to believe it or believe that it was a one time thing because it wasnt. WE had more than just a one niter, he just told me sunday that he was obsessing and dreaming about me because i refused to talk to him for 2 wks. That is not the kind of man she thinks is her living husband. So my advice to you ladies is this, no matter how many kids u have, no matter how long u been together, leave him, ur health, physically and emotionally is not worth it. Yes kids should be a priority in life, but they are not who comes first, YOU are!! If you arent fully happy and healthy how can u provide a good life for your kids? I had a mother who stayed with a cheating husband for the sake of us kids and i truly wish she had done what was best for her life instead of ours, kids get over things, her life has been wasted, 25 yrs she blew to know end up cold and alone when she could have made another life. so sad. Think of you and only you and dont ever believe a cheater will change, they are just good liars.

written by Sadden, 07 January, 2010

I myself am like many of you. I have been in (I thought) a monogamous relationship for almost a year. I started having complications, so i decided to go to my OBGYN for a checkup. Little did i know that I would tested positive for an STD (trich). I have been totally faithful to this man although I always had doubts about him. As of today, I guess now know the truth!!!!

written by ps, 11 January, 2010

hi everybody.......well i understand how everyone feels. i have a 4 month old baby with my boyfriend. just found out he gave me chlamydia. this is the most hurt i have ever been. he says he is sorry and how much he loves me and wants us to work it out but i see it as he put me and my child in danger. how could he do this???i dont know if or how to forgive him...

written by loveinu, 12 January, 2010

Feelingguilty... I’m disgusted with women like you. Takes a certain woman to go after a married man. I feel sorry for women like you who look at life the way you do. My hubby cheated on me with a woman like you; now I have an std. I didn’t do anything and don’t deserve this! I was also pregnant at the time he was fooling around with a fool! Break it off... adultery is no good an only ends up bad!

written by victory, 20 January, 2010

I am at such a crossroad in my life and I have no idea how to handle this awful situation.Yesterday I found out I have trichinosis. This is second time I have had an STI and the second time my husband has promised on his childrens life he has never been unfaithful to me. We have been together 22 years and been married 16. The first STI was three years ago, after feeling dreadful for several weeks and having a strange and peculiar rash on my hands and feet the doctor diagnosed me having syphilis. My world fell apart as I have never been unfaithful and have only ever had sexual contact with my husband. Obviously he was screened and found to have it too!!! Not such a surprise. He promised he never had been unfaithful and I told him I could never completely believed him. For the sake of our children I put that all behind us telling him if I ever found out he was unfaithful that would be the end of our marriage. I thought our relationship was something special and now I feel its a complete sham and based upon complete lies. I am so angry with myself for believing him. And now here I sit with a second STI, surely it can’t be coincidence. How am I ever going to find out the truth?

written by HPV virus, 26 January, 2010

I noticed a comment up above.. she said her husband had cheated on her.. and the HPV virus and science proved it..
That might NOT be the Case.
Because the process of transforming normal cervical cells into cancerous ones is slow, cancer occurs in people who have been infected with HPV for a long time, usually over a decade or more (persistent infection).

Some HPV virus.. men and women are born with.. so it maybe have been clearing up.. but if you just kept having sex with your husband and not letting it clear.. you two were probably just passing it back and forth.

written by HPV virus, 26 January, 2010

sorry.. correction.. only ones born with it.. are the ones with mothers infected.. you may see warts around the eyes.. and such..

But my main point was about the length of time that cancer cells develop...

written by Billie, 31 January, 2010

I’m glad I finally found a place to talk about my feelings. I married my EX-HUSBAND Aug. 28 1980, I was 23 years old, a virgin. I had never even let a guy get to second base with me, I was waiting to have sex with whoever I married, it was so important to me to save myself. I knew he had sex before we married, but in 1980, I’d never heard of a STD. Four months after marrying him, I had a bad pap test and had to go thru painful freeze procedure because I had developed abnormal cervix cells. It only took 4 months for me to develop HPV and fight for my life. Dr’s didn’t even know that much about HPV all those years ago. I’m still alive but it has caused all kinds of physical problems for me. Now 53 years old, I’ve developed Lichen Scleroses which is caused by HPV and is very painful. Dr. thinks it may have turned into Vulva or perineal cancer, waiting for the results of that. So the SOB ex-husband gave me a life sentence of this pain and agony and no children, but he went on to marry a woman 12 years younger than him and have a child. There are times when I resent him so much and I find myself wishing bad things would happen to him.

written by Wild Ride, 09 February, 2010

I just stumbled on this site and I’m floored at all the married women going through this sort of thing. Myself included. I’ve been married for 7 years and from all outward appearances we appeared to be the picture perfect family. We had only recently moved to Texas and purchased a home in 2007. I thought our marriage was great, my husband wasn’t a partier so there wasn’t any obvious signs of any infidelity. However I did notice he had been frequenting porn sites and I found some porn DVD’s stashed. I didn’t confront him about it because I always thought that it was normal for men to watch porn and I thought that it was harmless – boy was I wrong. In late August of 2009 I had a smelly discharge so I made an appointment with my OB-GYN. Of course I thought maybe I had a bacterial infection or something of that sort, not an STD. My husband didn’t show any outward concerns either and concurred my thoughts. The day of my appointment, I was FLOORED to have my doctor come in and tell me "yes you do have a bacterial infection but you also have Trich". I’m saying to myself "what the hell, I’m 40 years old, STD’s are something you get when you have multiple partners not when you’re married with children".

I immediately phoned my husband and gave him a piece of my mind. I was so freakin’ angry. Good thing my Dr’s appt. was late in the afternoon that I didn’t have to return to work. Good thing for my husband that he works the night shift and would be gone by the time I came home. I was LIVID! Of course as I’m screaming at him through the phone, he’s speechless and constantly saying that he hadn’t cheated on me, he doesn’t understand. The next day I called in to work because I was going to get to the bottom of this sh*t. Here I am having to take this medication and have a follow up visit for something that I didn’t cause, something that one would expect to happen to a 20 something year old single permisquious female. I told my husband he needed to make an appointment with his Dr. which he did and came home saying, "I don’t have nothing, see my results, I told you". I called my OB-GYN who said that my husband needed to see a Urologist. I found one and made him an appt. He came back with a prescription and admitted that he had Trich and then admitted to having a three-night stand with some miscellaneous female whom he met in a barbershop.

Anyway, I could go on and on about the details and the slow partial admissions that came week after week, little by little. After 7 doses and 7 office visits, I was finally cleared of that awful nasty Trich. The weeks that passed since my initial diagnosis were long talks, arguments, prayer and demands for the full fledged truth. I went through half truths, partial admissions, etc. for the first few weeks. Finally the bombshell was dropped by him 1 month later – he admitted that he had also tested positive for HSV1 & HSV2 by the Urologist.

written by Wild Ride, 09 February, 2010

After 6 months of long arduous conversations the full disclosure was revealed. He met this tramp at a barbershop he used to visit, she started conversing with him whenever she would come by with her son. He was heavy into the porn, felt like I was distant and did not need him, he fell for her advances. They would meet up during the day and go get a motel room to screw. He used a condom however when she performed Oral on him, he didn’t. This was going on nearly half of 2008 until the barbershop closed down. Then he started visiting a barbershop closer to our home and sometime in the summer of 2009 he’s coming out and she appears and strikes up a conversation. Of course he’s still into his porn and here she is showing him all this attention, he falls once again for the bait. They meet up later that week and then again in August. The last encounter, is when I believe he contracted the Trich because he admitted that the last time they had sex, the condom came off just as he was about to "you know" and that he kept going. The Herpes however I believe was contracted through all the other encounters since my Dr. said it can be transmitted by skin to skin contact. I fortunately have not tested positive for the HSV1 or HSV2. What’s really unfortunate about the situation is that after their last encounter, she told him that she was moving to another part of Texas with her boyfriend/child’s father. Yes she had a significant other as well. Throughout this sex-ca-pade they never exchanged phone numbers, he didn’t even know her last name, she didn’t even know his REAL name, they didn’t know where the other lived/resided, TOTALLY INSANE. I told him, you’re an idiot because this sleaze probably knew she had Herpes and when the condom came off, she got nervous and came up with some bogus story of "moving" to justify never coming around anymore because you might soon find out. She probably knew she had the Trich also and was probably being treated for it which is why her vagina didn’t smell during intercourse, but she probably knew that she wasn’t supposed to be having sex.

Anyway, we are still together and it I have my moments but one thing that this experience has taught me is that God is good. Although I thought our marriage was great and wonderful, it really wasn’t because I was so caught up in my career and the children that I did forget about him. I was so caught up in achieving the American Dream that God was not a focal point of our marriage nor the household. I was always on the hustle for more and more and not realizing that the most important thing in life is God and family. We have grown to learn a lot about each other these past 6 months. There’s a lot that he’s come to learn about himself as well and it wasn’t a pretty site to look at neither for himself or for me, but it was who he was, what he had been through and his mentality that caused him to involve himself with someone outside of our marriage. He was so twisted that he had formed this thought that I didn’t love him, that I didn’t need him, etc. These ideals were so far from the truth, although I have to admit sometimes my words and reactions can lead one to believe that. We both came to realize also that porn can be a devastating addiction and that it should in know way have any place in a marriage. I as well as he thought it was harmless but after all of our long conversations and discussions, I’ve come to realize that there’s a timeline that went from occasional viewing, to frequent viewing, to excessive viewing (which I was unaware of – another one of his admissions). He had opened himself up to an unrealistic view of sex and what it was supposed to be. So along comes Ms. Sex-A-Holic and shows him some interest, and he’s flattered. Little Miss tells him what she would like to do to him and he’s nose wide open. So my husband is now in day 46 of an online porn course which he loves. I’m still up and down but confident that through prayer and keeping God first, we will prevail and grow old together – at least I hope. However if it’s not meant to be then so be it, I’m okay with that. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’m making strides and efforts to become a better person for me and my children. For now he’s along for the ride and should he choose to jump off the train, then so be it, I’m still moving forward.

To all the other women I wish you luck and I understand your pain. We must stand strong and take care nothing for granted and not allow anyone to destroy who you are as a person.

I’ll be back to check on others’ and comment if necessary. Sorry for such a long post but this site brought something out of me and I just had to share my story.

written by hurtwife, 13 February, 2010

My husband of 13.5 years confessed to me that he began cheating with prostitutes after he got back from Iraq in 2008. He had to tell me because he contracted gonorrhea. He told me he didn’t consider it cheating because he didn’t have any emotional attachment. It is crazy how men justify things. He swore that all of the blood test results were fine. He claimed that he was clear of everything else. I told him that I didn’t believe him and was going to be tested for everything. After many tears, I went to the doctor 3 days later & requested STD tests.

Turns out that I didn’t have gonorrhea. But my blood test showed exposure to HSV (herpes). I am angry and hurt. I have been COMPLETELY faithful to him and have not been with another man since 1994.

My husband was away with the military when I told him about my test results. His comment was, "they didn’t tell me that I had that". He tried to convince me that I may have already had it. I flew into a rage. I have been pregnant five times BY HIM. I haven’t been with anyone else almost 16 years. I have been tested for STDs several times with each pregnancy. Before we got married, I was tested for everything.

I HATE him! I don’t believe anything that he says anymore. Thank God I tested negative for everything else. I will NEVER be intimate with him again. I don’t trust him. I think he is disgusting. He is a pervert. He had started watching an unusually huge amount of porn and then I found a tape he had made of women’s butts. I simply do not desire him anymore.

He went to the doctor & had a blood test. He did have herpes. I believe that he has known he had it. That is why he was so insistent that his blood test were "normal". He didn’t want me to find out that he may have transmitted it to me.

Our kids adore their father but I hate him. It is amazing how thin the line is between love & hate. I have done NOTHING to deserve this. It was his own selfish needs & desires as well as his addiction to pornography. I told him that he needs Jesus and a good counselor for his sexual addiction.

My mother in law has tried to convince me to work things out with him because "he loves you". He does not LOVE me. I loved him; therefore, I have never jeopardized his health by being unfaithful to him. Men think that they are the only ones with sexual needs. I wasn’t getting my emotional or sexual needs met but I stayed faithful and just tried to work things out. I didn’t just think of myself. I thought of him & our family. That’s the difference between me & him. I put our needs above my own. He didn’t. Now, I have to forever deal with his selfish, stupid decision.

NOW he doesn’t want to lose me or our family. I have let him know that he has already lost me. His children will always be his children because they need both of us. I will never interfere with his relationship with his kids. We, however, are through. He can’t ever touch me. He wants nasty, skanky, trashy looking women and he can have them. He is now free to do whatever he wants to do with whomever he wants to do it with. I deserve more than what he can give me...Lies, deceit, and disease. I vowed for better or worse. I didn’t vow to be a fool.

written by lovely lady, 18 March, 2010

Good thing is....I’m happy no one on here caught aids. That’s a quick death sentence.

written by Don’t know what to think!?, 29 April, 2010

Hi Ladies,
I can’t believe I found this site.......I have felt so alone until now!! My husband and I have been together for going on 14 years, and married almost 9 of those years! At first ours lives together was great, good sex life, romance, etc. That all changed about 5 yrs ago, when all of a sudden, in what I thought was a moment of passion, he literally pushed me aside, saying, "I can’t" From that day on our lives went down hill! He wouldn’t discuss it, and it happened time and time again! To make a very long story short, after he went to the Dr, he came home to tell me the Dr blew him off when he tried to talk to him about his ED problem! PLEASE!!! I decided to just let it go! Well........here it comes....... we have had intercourse once in the last 6 months, (I HAD TO WORK HARD TO GET THAT) last October I think it was.......and lo and behold......Tuesday I got a phone call from my ob-gyn after my "yearly" visit saying I have trich!! After telling my husband, and of course his denying he has ever cheated on me, here is a couple of his reactions......."I’m gonna sue the clinic who told you that".....and another one was..."Well, I thought about this and told myself, I haven’t been taking care of my wife, and she has needs, so I wouldn’t blame you if you found someone else"!! Also, he wanted me to go to another Dr to be tested for a second opinion......yup, that’s just what I want to do....spread my legs for another Dr. We all know how much we enjoy those exams!!What you think ladies??? I have not been with another man since we have been together!!! I had hate issues with men before I met him, and after reminding him of that, (he hates my total honesty).....(he has always been a chronic liar), he told me he knew I would never cheat on him! What to do!! What to do?? At this point, I’m numb!! Thanks for letting me vent!!! I just needed to put it all out there!!

written by saddened, 03 May, 2010

@ Don’t know what to think.

I’m Saddened (post March 6,2009). Although our stories are a bit different there is one common thread to all our stories...trust has been broken. If you know without a shadow of a doubt that he is the source of this, you need to get out. Even though you love him you need to love yourself more. My ex is STILL denying everything....we have been divorced almost a year now. Here is something you have to consider. He put your life at risk. Some men do change. I can attest to that. But no man will change what he will not acknowledge. It was trich this time, but who is to say it won’t be Aids the next time? You don’t know, and if you decide to take him back and work it out (which is totally your decision) then just remember you are risking your life. Only you know if it is worth it or not. My path is different. My ex and I are good friends. I just made a decision of quality that I would not risk my life for love. When we divorced I loved him DEARLY. But I just asked God for grace to go through it. Take some time. BREATHE. Get your nails and stuff done, and just think and pray and weigh all your options. What ever you decide let it be your own decision and make that decision with a clear level head. As you talk to people you will find examples of both good and bad. Some will say they went through the same thing and their husbands straightened up and they are happy they stayed. Some will say they should have noticed the signs and not looked the other way. But you have to do what is best for you. If you want to risk it, that is your choice. If you want to walk away, don’t let guilt eat at you. You deserve a chance to live life w/o the agony of wondering if he’s bringing you home something else. Whatever you decide be willing to live with the consequences. If you leave know that there will be lots of lonely nights, and pillows wet with tears. If you decide to stay know that you could contract something much bigger than what you have. Just be careful in this decision. I do hope this helps you.

written by Stunned & Hurt, 17 May, 2010

Well, I don’t know where to begin. I am just in such an utter state of shock. I have been with my husband for 8 years, we just recently got married. We have 2 children and a third on the way. We just found out about the third child two weeks ago. The doctor called me after hours just to tell me that I had an abnormal pap smear and tested positive for chlamydia. I asked if there were any other ways you can get that STD, just to give him the benefit of the doubt. They said that the only way you get it is through sexual contact. I have not been with anyone else in 8 years. I am so hurt right now. I asked him about it and of course he claims he has been with no one else. HE EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT I MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT SOME OTHER WAY! How the freak else do you get an STD other than sex? I mean really! I just can’t believe this is even happening. Just when things seemed to be getting in order and we were happy or so I thought. I don’t think I’ll ever trust him again. EVER.

written by the dumb one, 26 May, 2010

Well my boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We met when he was sixteen and I was nineteen. We began dating, came out pregnant 7 months later. Two weeks after my son was born he slept with one of his coworkers. At the time we were both still living at our own parents house. I found out because the slut decided to tell everyone at work what she and him did. I had a friend who worked there at the time and she gave me the news.I took him back and he told me he was never going to do that to me again. Fast forward three years and one day he tells me he thinks he has a UTI. So we go to the doctor and they give him antibiotics. That same night he confesses to me that he messed around with a girl he met just once. So I take it upon me self to get check and just as my gut was telling me I came out positive for an STD. I still love him and wish everything would go away. I can’t be around him, but when hes gone i miss him. I have never cheated on him or looked at another guy. So here a I am I don’t know what to do should I forgive him and try and work things out? Or should I push him to the curve? HELP!

written by SAME INSANE BOAT, 08 June, 2010

I will be married 11 years come July. I have what I thought was a wonderful, yet flawed husband.... you know not perfect but we where cool, we where friends. We have two of the greatest children ever. In all appearances we where a happy family. Well in 2006 he confessed to cheating on with with multiple women.. through much prayer and counseling I forgave him....(this is the super short version LOL). Now 2008 I found out that he cheated again. I found out IN A COUNSELING session. I was in shock but guess what...I forgave..again. Everything seemed ok. We communicated much more effectively and actually our love life improved. Well ladies I went to my OB/GYN because I had developed what I thought was an UTI or yeast infection and lo and behold this chick told me I had trich. That was May 17; I received a letter today stating that I also have chlamydia. Now I am really struggling because my husband states that he has not cheated since his last confession in 2008. I struggled because this whole time I have been at peace because I resolved to place my trust in God and believing that He would take care of me and I did not want to divorce because that would be breaking a Holy Covenant I made with this man and God. I am so confused because what so I do if the opposite spouse breaks the covenant and step outside of the marriage? I think of how adulterous Israel was towards God and yet God showed mercy over and over again. Comments please. I just need to hear another woman’s view.

written by tangentgirl, 26 June, 2010

I feel so much better reading everyone’s problems so that I know I am not alone. My husband of 36 years has probably given me genital herpes and I have to wait 5 to 10 days to get the results and it s tearing me up inside.

written by Regretful with HPV, 28 June, 2010

I had been happily married for many years, each year completing a routine pap smear. Long into our marriage I was diagnosed with a abnormal pap smear showing precancerous cells and HPV.
I kicked him out, immediately.
He swore he didnt cheat on me, but I just knew he had to, nothing came back on any previous tests, there was no way I got an STD on my own, it had to be through him.

Of course, more attention is now given to HPV, and now, I learn that I could have had HPV latent in my system for many years. In addition, hes an ED nurse, and often has exposure to patients genital areas. New research says men can pick up HPV and transmit it to themselves, in places like public restrooms or gyms.
It is possible my husband was being honest.

Its been a couple years now.
I am alone, and he is not.
He is in a long term relationship with another woman. A very lucky woman.
I just wish I hadnt jumped to conclusions.

I was so very happy before that pap smear.

Just a thought, I wanted to share.

written by Can’t believe it’s true, 10 August, 2010

I’m yet another who is in this same situation. Funny how you never see a man on here saying this happened to him by his wife!! (although I’m sure it does). I’ve been with my partner coming up 11 years. We were each others first and, I thought, only. However at my first smear test (as I’m now 25) they said routinely they check for STD’s etc. I was cool as ice about it and even bragged to the nurse that it will be fine as we’ve only ever been with each other. How foolish. Because I had said this she called me 3 days later with sincere regret in her voice that my chlamydia test was positive. She encouraged me not to fling out accusations and there was a chance that it was a false positive or mix up at lab and we should do anther test. I’d only confided in 1 friend who immediately told me they are very rarely wrong and started sympathizing profusely at what I was going to have to go thru, as her ex had given it to her and that is how she found out. I shrugged it off and told myself it would be negative next time, so much so that I nearly completely forgot about it. I have been waiting for the call now and I got it today. My heart ached straight away, it was positive. As it’s my first test (silly of me to wait so long when I have been sexually active with him for nearly 10 years but I honestly did not think he would do this as he idolizes me!) I don’t know how long I may have had this as I’ve got no symptoms. I haven’t yet spoken with him as I’m trying to stay rational and think it through as much as possible. I know the way he works and he is instantly going to blame me, he’s very good at turning an argument. But I can stand strong on this one because I KNOW I’ve not done anything that can contract this. I have kissed a couple of people very early on in our relationship (when I was silly and 16) but I’ve never done anything sexually. Because he "forgave me" for the kissing things so long ago I’m pretty sure he’s going to say I’ve caught it from kissing, but my research and questions to doc assure me you simply cannot get it that way AT ALL!! I really don’t want us to break up over this but I’m trying to understand how he could’ve kept this from me. He prides himself on being an honest person and tells me everything, even silly things that don’t even matter. Or maybe that’s why he does that, so he can hide the truth and swear he’s too honest. My mind is going mental!!

It’s such a worse way to find out then an honest up front confession and test after to make sure. So humiliating. I wish there was someway else you could catch this as I’d be happy to take that as my fault than know, if we stay together, I’ll never be his only anymore!!

written by so hard to believe, 27 August, 2010

I am so thankful to have read all the above comments and take strength from knowing others feel as I do. I have been married for 23 years. Three days before our last anniversary, I found out i had trich. I have been faithful for 23 years. It sucks to hear from your doctors office that your husband has been unfaithful. 19 years ago while pregnant with my third child, i had crabs. He tells me to this day he does not know how he contracted them. Well,,,,,,there is only one way. So I know of twice he fooled around and with that time gap, can only assume it happened more, as he had plenty of opportunity. When i confronted him with the fact in 6/10, he denied it, stating it had to be me!!! I have had another pap done and requested the doc to check for any STD she could. It does scare me that something may be wrong and has just gone undetected. He at first stated he wanted to come home (He had to leave, i could not be around him and look at him), be married, yadda yadda yadda. But he did nothing to change the behaviours that created problems for us in the first place(he has addiction issues) and in fact stated to me he wanted freedom to do as he likes. He cannot or will not recognize the damage he has done, nor the necessary steps to correct it. We have lived separately for two months now and everyday that goes by i hear from him less and less. I believe he is enjoying the single life and will adjust much more quickly than I. I would guess his heart is not aching like mine either. Despite the problems in our marriage, it was not bad between us and in fact we were regularly enjoying sex until the day I found out about the STD. I know I cannot be in a relationship with him ever again and I am grieving the loss of the marital dream. While debating whether to make the attempt to reconnect with him and save the marriage, my instinct would butt in with "no, he will do it again and it will be somehow worse (!!!!) the next time". After reading all the above comments and putting it together with what his recent actions have shown me, I know for a certainty that it would not be a positive thing for me to be with him. Though it pains me terribly, i have to let him go and focus on redefining my life on my own. His selfishness and insensitivity staggers me. I am afraid, alone and feel so used. How could those 23 years not have meant enough to him to want to keep it??? I dont really know whether he continues to see the woman he cheated on me with or even someone else. Though he engaged in adultery, he is basically leaving me as he enjoys being single more. It hurts so badly. I wish everyone here luck, peace and strength. I know that if I am to come out of this situation somewhat normal(like you could ever forget a betrayal from someone you gave your heart soul and body too!!), it will have to be me alone who gets me there.

written by hpv in me MD, 01 September, 2010

sorry to hear that this happened to all of you. but please dont assume that just because you were given hpv that your SO cheated. When you find out you are confused and angry and want to blame someone but the reality of the virus is that it can lay dormant for decades and someone can have it all their life and not show symptoms. its not as bad as you think. 80of; sexually active folks have this virus by the time they are50 and only a small percentage of them develop symptoms or cervical cancer. check the CDC information on HPV and stop listening to angry vengeful and panicky people. remember that most people that post are looking for an outlet versus discussing the actual reality rationally. God Bless each and every one of you. 1 out of 2 people have HPV by the time that they are 30 they just dont know or it doesnt show.

written by Xxxxx, 09 September, 2010

Hi everyone! I am so very sorry to hear of all the pain you are going through. I can totally relate to it! I am 26 years old and my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me last year. I had an idea that something wrong had gone on, I could just sense it. I questioned him and the guilt was too much for him and he confessed that he’d had a one night stand which was the biggest mistake of his life and was so sorry! Sorry was not enough, I was devastated! I packed my bags and left! I stayed away for 3 months and we spent Xmas apart. I ignored all his phone calls and texts, which was so hard. I loved him. He was the only man I’d ever slept with and I felt so betrayed! As time went on I couldn’t bear to live the way I was, I wanted to forgive him but knew it would be hard. He made every effort to regain my trust and eventually we moved back in together. Our relationship was not good at 1st, I couldn’t let him forget the past! I’d go on and on and on! And I had a dreadful feeling that I’d caught something. I had no symptoms, but was just worried sick! I went for a test and sent him for one too. We received letters saying that we needed to attend the clinic when the results were back. I instantly knew I’d caught something! We arrived together and they called us in together, which I thought was odd! The nurse sat us down and said "you are both HIV positive"! I immediately burst into tears, so did my boyfriend! This was 6 months ago now and I’m gradually coming to terms with what has happened! I am still with my boyfriend, which may sound mad, but I truly love him and believe that he truly loves me, but was just too stupid and selfish to realize it before. He feels so guilty, but I have somehow found it in my heart to forgive him. As mad as it sounds it has made us stronger than ever. If anyone else had said they’d stayed with their boyfriend after he gave them HIV I’d say they were mad, but you don’t know until it happens to you. I know he has most definitely learned his lesson the hard way! We are now getting married next year!

written by donewithdudes, 13 September, 2010

I wish I wasn’t posting this, but here it goes. Earlier this year, me and my high school crush reconnected and started dating again and on our first night of being intimate, this guy pulls a fast one. While I’m reaching for the condom, he slides in and proceeds to do what he does and cums inside of me and I’m kinda pissed because I thought that was rude. Anyway, he had been seeing his Dr. for his sciatica and the Dr. did a complete physical on him (for whatever reason) and a few weeks later while talking to him on the phone he breaks down and tells me that he was diagnosed with HEPATITIS B! He proceeds to tell me that he "knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what" and was like "At least it wasn’t HIV" (He tested negative for that but was afraid he might’ve had it). So anyway, I’m saying to myself, "Who effin catches Hep B besides druggies, promiscuous people, gays, etc."? I immediately make an appointment to get tested and the first comes back negative, the second one the next month is negative, the third one four months after I was exposed...POSITIVE!! I called his ignorant a** in anger, in tears, in rage and all he could say was "sorry". The funny thing is when I initially found out he had it, he was like " I didn’t have to tell you!" in a real nasty tone of voice...Smh. Ok, so I get referred to a " specialist" because this is beyond my primary care Dr.’s understanding, and sure enough after more intensive testing, I was found to be "newly" infected. Let me tell you all, I was soooo sick! I couldn’t eat for a month, my stomach was upside down from nausea, I couldn’t sleep at night from all the terrible itching all over my body, I lost about fifteen pounds (I’m naturally petite but I started looking anorexic), my per turned a scary brown color and my eyes turned jack-o-lantern yellow from jaundice. I stayed in bed for weeks only getting up to do what’s necessary because I had no energy. I thought I was dying in short. I had lost wages because I couldn’t go to work and the a**hole couldn’t and wouldn’t even help me. I found out through him that he had been sleeping with some "questionable" females last year unprotected and this is how he got it. I could go on and on about this but I can’t right now, but know that I’m still not negative yet (95% chance of clearing the virus in healthy adults, small % go on to have chronic infection for life which could lead to cirrosis of the liver). I hate walking around knowing I have a contagious disease with no cure except time, prayer, and a healthy immune system, and I can never donate blood. So when u get tested ladies, make sure you ask to be tested for Hep B as well, it is a serious, often overlooked disease that is 100 times more contagious than HIV, and some don’t have symptoms and if they do, its like having the flu really bad for a long time. My prayers are with you and my advice is to leave these low life-scumbags alone.... I’m serious.

written by DoneWithDudes, 13 September, 2010

Well here we are, the burned, the scorned, the hurt. Let me share my story. Around the beginning of the year I began dating my high school crush from 1980 something and it seemed nice at first. After many months and weeks of catching up,we eventually got around to our first encounter in over 20 years and while I was reaching for protection(condom)from my purse in an uncompromising position, this clown decides to sneak in from behind and handle his business. I was upset but you know how it goes once it gets started... So anyway, this guy ejaculates inside of me and I’m asking him why he didn’t wait for me to put the damn condom on and if he had been tested for std’s (I had my "clean" paperwork and had not been in a relationship or had sex for several months beforehand). He lies and says yes, he had been tested but I was like I can’t trust that and something in me told me he was a f**king liar. So anyway, weeks pass and this guy is having problems with his sciatica so he visits the doc and for whatever reason he gets a full work up (he didn’t tell me at the time that he was waiting on specific test results, he just said some blood tests, he likes to play ignorant)and when I ring him he has this screwed up attitude acting like he’s trying to get me to a place where I don’t wanna deal with him anymore (a trick to make me break up with him so he can say it wasn’t his fault but somebody else’s, I’m on to it). So while he’s ranting on and being an a** I got mad and asked him why he was being so damn evil towards me and his conscience wouldn’t let him keep silent and he tells me that he has Hepatitis....HEPATITIS???!!!! WTF??? HOW DID YOU GET THAT??? So at that point I wasn’t even thinking about myself because I was so devastated for him (ridiculous how women put themselves last)and I thought nothing about my own health immediately. I made an appt with my doc and had testing done and the first test came back negative, the second negative, and four months after that unfortunate night of terrible sex with an idiot, it came back positive...I’m floored! I called the fool and I wanted to kill him because he told me after he found out that he was HIV negative (yes ladies, he was waiting on std tests to come back because he thought he had contracted HIV), that he "knew something was wrong with him but didn’t know what"...HUH!!?? You suspected something was wrong with you but you went up in me raw, no condom, AND ejaculated all that "100 times more infectious than HIV" viral semen in me??!!??? HUH!!?? So his argument was he didn’t know but he knew something was wrong with him that was potentially contagious but didn’t care enough about me to tell me he was in the process of finding out, nor had the decency to even own a condom!! Long story shorter, I ended up breaking up with that low life who by the way, got the disease from some questionable females (unprotected sex of course)and I ended up getting very sick. Hepatitis B is a viral disease that is prevalent among druggies, prostitutes, the promiscuous, gay men, and those born in certain countries who acquire it at birth from their mothers, so I’m thinking all kinds of things about him at this point, like WTF was he doing out there? This disease is not very common among heterosexual Americans, and children are usually vaccinated when young against this. Anyhow, I get sooooo sick with fever, nausea, headaches, my pee turned a dark brown and smelled like chemicals, I itched so much at night that I couldn’t sleep, my appetite disappeared, my liver hurt, I lost about 14 pounds in weight (I’m already petite), and last but not least, my eyes turned an eerie yellow for a week from jaundice. I was in the hospital for a day getting transfused because my specialist(yes, I had to see one for this sh**)said he needed to get my hemoglobin up so I could fight off the virus, and I was off work for two whole months on disability because of this fool. I had to tell my children and my sister and it was highly embarrassing for a woman in her forties to be catching an STD. I am over the initial symptoms now but I still have to wait a few months to see if the virus clears from my body(doc says most adults with a healthy immune system have a 90-95% chance of clearing within 6-8 months, others go on to have it for life, being contagious to all who come in contact with their blood or body fluid). I sure hope I clear this virus soon because not only will I be contagious, but I will have to always remember the jerk who gave this to me(not that I don’t remember now, but you know what I mean). I won’t be dealing with any more men from now on thanks to his a**, I’m totally and completely done.

written by NGEORGIA, 20 September, 2010

I’m going to let you ALL in on a little secret.....
My wife went for a PAP last week and her tests came back positive for HPV.... I am 32 yrs old been married 5 years.... HAVE NEVER CHEATED on her, so tell me this-
Why does it always have to be the mans fault or the "one that cheats" ?

written by stillhurt, 04 October, 2010

I have been with my husband for over 10 years and 2 years ago I found out he had been having an affair with an ex girlfriend. The affair started right before our 2nd anniversary. I was pregnant with our 2nd child at the time. We were separated due to a job relocation not because I wanted to be. During that time I was dumped with his step brother who was an alcoholic/drug addict. My grandmother was sick and had passed away. I was also packing our house to start a new exciting chapter in our life...or so I thought. I knew going into our marriage that porn was something he watched. It got worse and eventually escalated into more with his affair. He said he was only with her 2 times while we were apart but continued an email affair until I found an email.

My husband gave me herpes about a year after we were dating but claimed he didn’t know that he had it and was faithful to me. After the affair he finally admitted to me that it was him that had herpes previous to our relationship but never had any symptoms. I on the other hand get really sick and tired with the herpes outbreaks. He had unprotected sex with the whore that he was with and part of me hopes that he gave her the gift that keeps on giving so that she can be reminded of him each time she has an outbreak.

After all the heartache, we are still together. I know that a man can change because I see it in my husband through his actions with me and our kids. We attend a 12 step church group for his sex addiction and me for recovery. I still scream and get mad. I have such a hurt heart and some days are worse than others. I know that I will never be the same because MY dreams were shattered. All I ever wanted was a family with a faithful husband. Maybe with God, I will heal to the point I can enjoy life. Ladies.... look at your husbands actions and not his words. If he becomes defensive, then there is something up.

written by worred, 11 October, 2010

Hello to all,
I am sorry to hear about your results and I am wondering now if I will soon be joining all of you on your battle against STDs. I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 kids that live w/me. I have been separated for 4 months because of addiction. I think that my husband has been unfaithful due to pornography addiction and his behavior towards me. I love him but at this point I am more scared of him than anything. He is abusive, defensive, and has many questionable behaviors and now that he is away from our family I can see things clear. The reason I am so scared is because he has left many times and I am sure he had something going on with women that he met online. Well, I have been having this discharge that i DON’T UNDERSTAND why, and also have a little lower abdominal pain and sometimes I get this sudden sharp pain on my side, i think where my liver is. I am going to go to get tested soon, but after reading all these posts, I am really scared of what the results may be. I am praying so nothing is wrong. I wish you all the best. I will post after my test.

written by Chris UK, 22 October, 2010

I would like to add my story to this list. I am the husband being accused of cheating now my wife has been diagnosed with trich. I am 100% certain she has been completely faithful to me, and of course I know I have been 100% faithful to her. She is everything to me and now I have lost her because her doctors told her she has an STD, and she knows it could only have come from me. The problem with this is I have only had sex with her since we met and she has never caught it from me before. I had an STD test last year and was clear. When she got her diagnosis this year, I was tested again and still showed negative, so I went to another clinic and it came back negative (both times swab tests under microscope and culture for trich) and then I even went to a private clinic and paid for a PCR test which again come back as negative for trich or any other infections. So, not only do I not or never had trich to give to my wife, I didn’t even catch it from her. Now I have lost the woman I am desperately in love with and the thought of being with another woman, even now two months after losing her, makes me feel sick. I love my wife, I did not cheat, yet she apparently suddenly caught an STD from me. Someone please tell me how this is at all possible because I want to be able to prove once and for all to my wife I am faithful. And to all you women out there who think their loving husband is a lying cheat, I implore you to think about this carefully. I know you feel hurt, but if your situation is anything like mine, then he is telling you the truth.

written by he cheated w prostitute and gave me std, 02 November, 2010

I’ve knew this guy longer than I haven’t... we were best friends for years, always dated different people, in 2008 we started hanging out more after we both got out of long relationships. our relationship progressed... there were periods that we were not exclusive, but overall, we were inseparable. In about march of 2010... things "down there" didn’t feel right.. we both got tested for herpes and he got tested for everything!... I came back negative...and he tested positI’ve for chlamydia but negative for everything else. we were both treated for chlamydia even though I didn’t test positI’ve for it. We never played the blame game bc we both understood that it may have been an old infection. After this scare, we were both were exclusive with each other (so I thought)... we ended up moving in together in May 2010...everything was great. we had so much fun together.. I felt like I had everything figured out.. life was good.. I couldn’t complain about anything except the bachelorette season ending on TV… lame right?!... then one day I was making our bed and I noticed his cell phone laying there.. I took a peek and my world crashed before my eyes! we was soliciting prostitutes on Craiglists when I was at work!.. I couldn’t believe this...!! but it was real... I immediately made a gyno appointment. I ended up with HSV II. he still denied having it..and giving it to me.. I believe he had it the first time we got tested in march and never told me. I don’t know how people stay with men like this... have more respect for yourself. there are so many guys that would never do anything like that. Im lucky to have found one who loves me for me regardless of my lovely new acquired condition. There can be so many worse things in life. no one needs a sleezeball!! I tell all my girlfriends.. "don’t ignore red flags, be with someone who anyone would call a ‘good guy’, be with someone who no one can say a bad thing about, be with someone who has incredible friends/ family, set your standards high, and be with someone who deserves all the good things you have to offer."

written by Living with herpes, 06 November, 2010

I appreciate being able to tell my story. I contracted herpes 2 years into my marriage (23 years ago) and my husband claimed he did not have herpes. He said I must must been infected before our marriage or picked it up from a toilet seat. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but this was before home computers were common and information about herpes was not an everyday topic. Signs were there that my husband gave me herpes, but it was easier to believe and see him as the good guy who stuck with me. Ten years later, I put two and two together and realized he did not disclose that he had herpes when we were dating, that he knowingly gave me herpes, and that he lied about it. The betrayal I felt was devastating and instead of an apology, he was angry because he didn’t know who gave him herpes. Because he wouldn’t discuss the situation, I continued to feel betrayed off and on throughout the marriage. Herpes was the elephant in the room. Now he wants to be single and I am wondering if somewhere down the road I have a chance at another relationship because of having herpes.

written by crapped on and humiliated, 21 November, 2010

Found out my husband of 22 years had a one night stand 4 years ago only after he was trying to get back with her again through texting and sending naked pics. I forgave him for an affair 16 years ago. I also found out that he let another woman give him oral sex in his truck and she is young enough to be his daughter. I also caught him sending her nasty texts. He only admitted to "her licking him twice but he felt so guilty he made her stop"....yeah am I that stupid? I went back to cell phone records and he had been texting both woman for over a year. One of the woman felt so guilty because she only found out that we were still together as of last month. She said he was constantly trying to get her to sleep with him again. He swore on his mom and dad’s life that he never slept with anybody but me in 15 years and then I found out he was lying. He had the nerve to blame me for it all. We got in a huge fight every night for a 3 weeks in a row and he actually had to never to say to me "at least she swallows and he fu****". How could he sit there and humiliate me even further. I do nothing but cry and I feel I have aged 10 years in the last month. I have been with this man since I was 17 years old and now I am 42 and we have 2 grandchildren.

written by finished with men, 06 December, 2010

Women, it’s just best to leave the lying, cheating scumbags alone. I have been used so many times now that is it not funny. I used to like sex but the thought of it now sickens me. I will go to my death not wanting to have sex with men anymore. they are all liars.

written by iamashamed, 12 December, 2010

I am on the other side. My wife and I would have serious problems, baby mama stuff, in-law, financial and she left with the children. Physically left and relocated to another city. I did not like it, but decided to try to find a job in the city with my wife and children. Long story short, I had sex with a stripper (only once) and gave my wife (now ex-wife) Herpes. I have lost everything for one night. (15 minutes) I miss my family dearly.

written by pulling up my bootstraps.., 13 December, 2010

Just found out my husband of 15 years had a six month affair with his coworker at the school he teaches at (my kids also go there) had been sneaking over to her while I was playing Suzie homemaker. A week ago she spilled the whole beans. Today I find out I have trich which I read can lead to the hiv virus soooo it’s out for him. I don’t cheat so I caught it from him. I’m sorry to hear that us women get treated so horribly when we do things correctly. I wish all of us good luck, but I think I have everyone here beat because MY husband is a PASTOR.......

written by living with the truth, 20 December, 2010

What do you do when you learn that the man you adored as I use to say to my husband is not only a liar but has also given you herpes. Sometimes I want to leave, but then my mind says why? So I can infect another person? What kind of life do I have in the future with a permanent std? I am hurt, confused, angry and bewildered. We have a large family and now grandchildren. His children and grandchildren adore him. If I leave, I’ll be the one everyone hates for destroying this picture perfect family. My husband and I never really argued thru our 17 years together. Our children and friends often say they want a marriage like ours. My husband cheated on me, the last year and a half and everyone knows. We’ve reconciled and the family is back to normal but not me. I just feel like a fool. I have no respect for myself anymore. I feel ugly and I detest my body. I am going to seek therapy. But I am afraid to leave. Not only for the family but financially also. I have one year of college left to finish before I get my degree. I doubt if I rock the boat before then. I just don’t see how he can love me and do what he did.

written by regretful boy, 29 January, 2011

Been with my gf for 8 years and 8 mos. before our wedding date, i told her the truth that I think i have given her Chlamydia so that she would have herself check and be medicated.

I have the UTI excuse before and imagining blending the pill on a drink. But my heart was so heavy, i ended up telling her the truth and us calling off the wedding. =(

Disgusted on what i’ve done.

written by polly68, 19 February, 2011

I have been married for 20 years, went for my regular 2 year pap smear, and low and behold I get a call from my doctor to tell me my pap results are fine but you have chlamydia, I was a virgin when I got married and have not looked at another man. My husband and I separated 5 months ago due to text messages his daughter and I discovered,he has denied the affair for all that time, all I can say KARMA is a bitch, I now know I was right. MEN NEED TO APPRECIATE WHAT THEY HAVE, THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE AS HE HAS DISCOVERED. BUT JOE YOU HAVE LOST ME FOREVER NOW, have a nice life.

written by woah!, 07 March, 2011

I am never getting married!

written by Bitternbetrayed, 23 March, 2011

My husband of 22 years gave me trich last year. I was stunned when told by my doctor at my annual pap. I had a discharge and odor but a STD never crossed mind. He initially denied it, before finally dramatically confessing to a one night stand blow job from a customer he hooked up with. Saying he felt guilty and like a hypocrite. I’m thinking he would confess to only this which I don’t believe. My reaction was not what I expected. I must still be in shock. I never put anything past anyone, so it’s not unbelievable just unexpected. We had a great relationship, best friends, great and plentiful sex life. We have two kids. He tends to try to be controlling, which has totally changed since this happened. I still really want to leave. I go weeks without thinking about it but sometimes I want to smack the cat piss out of him. My next annual pap is coming up soon. Will there always be this reminder? Before I didn’t even think about the possibility of cheating or an STD, but now...?

written by Destroyed, 02 April, 2011

I need to get this out before i EXPLODE!!!
he gave me ( C.H.L.A.M.I.D.Y.A )

Married to the ONLY man i’ve EVER been with, have two children together 3 & 1, he had a daughter before marriage. im 26!

O.k. I have been feeling emotionally neglected shortly after been married (yes almost 6 YEARS)... have tried different ways to regain love, bonding and a happy relationship since then. i’m far from perfect and have said the meanest things to him and we have physically fought countless times. i know i have love for him & he for me,

He’s SELFISH & Extremely jealous, why you smiling with that man, dont go out with ur friends they will introduce you to guys! Control Freak

Decides he’s going on a hol for 3 weeks with his 2 other married friends (1 going with his mistress)... but no family members allowed

A few days after returning from his holiday((with his daughter to live with us))... "oh i’m itching what were you doing while i was on holiday?",
"you best have been faithful or else!"

He even threatened to run ME... Yes.... *ME* off the road!
F***ing Ba***rd

after finding out he gave me this std... i get different stories about when & how it happened!

he "CLAIMS" he didnt touch her, she had a condom, he put it on, she gave him a blow job... oh by the way he didnt ejaculate cos he felt "guilty" and stopped,
and still caught it!...

ummmm somethings not right there IS IT???

hes trying everything to make it right (its like having a new man in my life) but how long for?

but i already see myself out the door! can anyone please give advise

written by Truth80, 04 April, 2011

I was diagnosed with Trich last week, and as far as I knew I was in a monogamous relationship for 3 years. We each believed that the other had not cheated, but the nurse (and internet research) was telling us differently. So we spent $900 to get polygraph tests done...and it came back that we were both telling the truth and had not cheated. So don’t jump to conclusions and don’t always trust your doctors. I wish I had gotten a second opinion or asked to be retested before spending $900, but it was weighing too heavily on us to wait or not know the truth.

written by The Male Cheater, 22 April, 2011

Hello Ladies. It is your fault. As men we are hunters and it is in our genetic make up and psych to spread our seed. Love, marriage, kids, etc., will always be second priority to getting our sexual fulfillment. If you want a loyal partner, get a dog, because you’ll never be able to change us.

Women are from Venus, and men think with their penis. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Enjoy the STI’s, they don’t really bother us that much.

written by Lost33, 06 May, 2011

Short version,
I have been with my boyfriend for about two years now and I have remained faithful to him even when we so call "break up" which only ever lasted a few days. He first gave me chlamydia last May of 2010 (mind you I have never had an Std ever!!), after that we were still together and he promised to never do something like that again. In the mean while his ex was pregnant with his child that he claimed aint his fast forward to the fall of 2010 and im pregnant but lost the baby while he was screwing around and she delivered their baby, I even accepted him after that because I loved him. But it remained rocky between us because he’s a liar and manipulator and I kelp holding on. Now recently things have been going great I found out that I was pregnant again but also that I have Herpes!!! Because he couldnt be honest now im stuck in a horrible situation, I want it to be completely over but I dont know how to do it or what to do about this baby please any advise

written by Michie, 12 May, 2011

I share the same story. I’ve been with my cheating husband for 21 years and out of those 21 years I have been his FAITHFUL wife for 19 of them. Too bad he can’t say the same. He had his share of affairs one being with a friend of my mother’s. Effn A right? They saved money by not going to hotels and doing their thing at my mother’s house. My 2 timing husband was renovating my mom’s house and Angie the whore O’steen was “helping” him. What kills me is that she informed him she had herpes but he STILL had sex with her. He STILL risked my health for this nasty dirty home-wrecking whore. And to make it worse, he tried blaming his ex-wife. He tried saying he got herpes from his frickn’ first wife. What an SOB. I wonder what Robin would say if this got around? Then he thinks it’s ok to receive pictures from a 20 year old in her bra and underwear. “What’s the difference between that and a bikini?” He has the f&*^&#xin;g nerve to say to me. And to make it all better, his mommy blames me for his infidelities. LOVE IT!!!!!!! Ladies, I hope and pray things work out better for all of you than it has for me.

written by Geoffrey, 18 June, 2011

I like your page and how i wish a lot of people can visit this page and gain first hand info

written by Faith...Hope...Wisdom, 21 June, 2011

I am not married, but I’ve dated the same guy since I was in the eighth grade. He’s two years older than I am. So, after graduation he went to college, and I was in the eleventh grade. At age sixteen, I found out that I had contracted HPV from him. He met this girl in college, and the rest is obvious. I’ve contacted her, but she continues to deny this. Obviously, she’s aware of her condition, but her plan was to trap him and they live happily ever after. To her it was more. Long story short, I’m twenty-seven now, I live with it everyday, and my prayer is that I’m healed. It’s hurts so bad when you trust someone, and they betray you. I use to blame him, but now I blame myself for my ignorance. I refuse to have kids because I don’t want my child to be affected by one of the biggest mistakes in my life.

written by Yram, 27 June, 2011

I have a serious problem can u please help me I am Mary I’m only 21 year old i just got married this January 2011 the first month were married it was alright then after a months were start fighting because he always want to go out and get drunk and go home early in the morning I always get mad at him and that’s the reason why we always fight. I don’t think my husband love me that’s why I cheat my husband. I have boyfriend while I’m still married and the first time we had sex I have period and he used condom and the last time we had sex I don’t have period anymore we didn’t used condom then a week ago he told me that his having STD now cuz every time he pee it hurts I am so worried about my situation if I have STD too.. cuz he said I’m the last girl he had sex. Please help me I need some good advices thank you

written by Ct mom, 04 July, 2011

The sad reality is ladies that contracting stds are more common than you are accepting tob realize. Whether you have a phd, ged young old married or simply in a relationship you are all susceptible to contracting stds. That is only one risk factor that we take when falling in love. Whats even more sad is that humans by nature are unreliable and selfish, by staying with these men ladies you are risking more than your physical well bring but mental and spiritual as well. And if your staying for a loos than your doing your child an injustice by setting an example of what fathers and mothers act like. And before we ho throwing ourselves any pity parties lets not forget that it was most likely a woman who gave your partner the vd in the first place which tells us there are hoards of women walking around untreated with no care to do so, and not just prostitutes my friends but co-workers, regular females and married women as well. We need to wake up and smell the fish. gain more confidence, self worth and standards, oh yes and leave at the first sign of a cheating spouse! Ive been through this my story.sounding similar to all of yours, he immediately got the boot, I did not allow myself to slide down that slippery slope of depression as I did nothing wrong and have so much more to look forward to. They’re are good ppl left in the world you know if you are one of them. We as women need to stand with dignity and class and put our feet down. If we stay with these men we not only condone the infidelity but have no one to blame but ourselves... lets teach our daughters to do better, btw excuse any typos as Im using my phone.

written by Mary Sue, 24 July, 2011

I just opened the hard copy of my husband’s lab report--all for STDs, all negative. The email wasn’t good enough, apparently, and he requested the hard copy. What did he need "proof" for? And why did he have this test done the week I was on vacation with the kids, during which he was supposed to move out so we could get some space and work out our own issues to help put our marriage back together? After he sent me an email saying he was having second thoughts and didn’t want to move out? After, years before, probably giving me Trich (yes, I talked myself into believing he hadn’t cheated after 20 years of marriage and being together since I was 16 with no other partner EVER)? It just goes to show that no matter what someone says to the contrary, they turn out just like their parents.

written by rusty shackleford, 31 July, 2011

thats what you get for dating jerks....date the guy who is nervous to ask you out rather than the guy who thinks you are blessed with his presence
and dont stick with him and then when he continues to cheat act like you did him a favor for staying with him, it was all for you
enjoy the jocks and alpha’s ladies!

written by Trouble struck., 08 August, 2011

How do I tell my man of18 months I have HPV. I’m in fear for his health and I don’t wish him harm. Were madly in love and happy as could be.. I don’t want everything to fall apart because of it.

written by Are you serious, 11 August, 2011

Coming from a single woman I understand how hard it is to decide what you wanna do when you find out that your loving husband cheated but I think a lot of you women are forgetting about hiv most stories have had curable stds but every-time you have unprotected sex it’s like playing russian roulette with your life how many curable stds you can luck up and get before hiv surface if your spouse doesn’t care about their health that’s on them but to come home and sleep with your loving wife after being with sluts is unacceptable....The question you have to ask yourself if he will do it once will he do it again and who is to say you may be as lucky the next time??? And ppl get married to avoid this kinda shit from happening

written by I have learnt a lot from this webpage, 12 August, 2011

Hello ladies and girls on here,
I feel so bad for you all and I am sure you will get through this. Being a guy, I have learned a lot from this page and how important it is to be faithful to my wife-to-be. I will just make sure that I don’t make this mistake in my life. I am glad that I am still a virgin and would like to lose it only to my wife. Once again, I feel so sorry for all of you. I just hope that you get well soon and get rid of the men who cheated on you. I am sure he doesn’t deserve all your love.
I hope I find a girl who doesn’t cheat on me either. Hugs everyone.

Sam.

written by ITSJUSTNOTFAIR, 17 August, 2011

I JUST FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND CHEATED WITH A PROSTITUTE AND HE CONFESSED TO IT. ONLY---AFTER I STARTED HAVING PAIN WHEN URINATING AND DOWN THERE WAS KILLING ME. LIKE IT WAS ON FIRE INSIDE AND OUT. I WENT TO THE DR. AND EVEN THOUGH MY HUSBAND SAID HE WORE A CONDOM WITH THIS PROSTITUTE. I STILL GOT 3 STD’S. A PROSTITUTIONAL FACILITY THAT HOUSES 150 WOMEN FROM COLUMBIA AND DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, WHO THEY SAY ON THEIR WEBSITE, THAT THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ARE TESTED FOR STDS. THAT IS SUCH A LIE. THEY SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PRINT THAT. AND THE SAD THING, IS THESE MEN THINK YOU CAN’T CATCH ANYTHING WHEN YOU WERE A CONDOM. YOU CAN CATCH A LOT OF NASTY THINGS, EVEN---WHEN----YOU---WEAR--A--CONDOM. I LOOKED IT UP. CONDOM WITH A BJ, YOU STILL CAN GET HERPES, CHANOIDS, AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF I CAN’T SPELL. MARRIED MEN NEED TO KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS UNTIL THEY GET HM. THEIR WIVES. THIS IS HOW ALL THESE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES GETS IN THE US. OUR MEN BRINGING IT HOME TO US. WHILE WE ARE BUSTING OUR BUTT’S FOR THEM AND OUR KIDS. A CHANCE OF DYING FROM SOME GROSS STD CRAP FROM MY HUSBAND. IT’S JUST NOT WORTH WORTH STAYING IN A MARRIAGE FOR. A CHEATER IS ALWAYS A CHEATER, A LIAR IS ALWAYS A LIAR, AND 95% OF MEN ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO SNEAK AND CHEAT. NO MATTER HOW GREAT THEY HAVE IT AT HOME. SOOOOO UNFAIR. I REALLY HATE THIS.

written by disperate kid, 22 August, 2011

i’m 19 years woman and im 5 mounths pregnant i have syphilis i found out last week i dnt know what can i do because i dont want to lose my unborn baby please help.

written by John Scranton, 25 August, 2011

Ladies wake up and see the light it’s also women who give STD’s to men. Many of you mention threatening to leave your man if he cheats etc... then wonder why he lies to you about it? How about instead of threats you listen and love your man? In a long distance relationship my woman breaks up with me in serious discussion and thus I am single and have sex with others looking for better. However we end up back together then I’m accused of cheating??? I also caught an STD and condoms are not 100% think about it secretions can get on the skin and then on the condom and your hands etc.. they help they are not fool proof. Divorcing over an affair is childish on either side unless the love ends. Holier than thou women make men cheat IMO

written by thruthisbitter, 26 August, 2011

called me i told me that he didnt love me anymore and that night that he told me, he said his sending me off by making love with me fortunately for me i became pregnant, and i reported this issue to his parent, pastor and friends, every body called him asked him about it, but he said i’m okay but he didnt love anymore, but his mum insisted that he must marry including others and he yielded based on what people are saying, but since i discovered that he is not happy and not be nice as he use to be, but now he found a lady and he called me again that he want to marry another wife or to divorce

written by doesn’t pay to be nice, 31 August, 2011

Here are so many good women who’d stay faithful to their man, yet they end up with liars. Then there are honest men out there who can’t even get a girlfriend, or those (like me) who find their girlfriend cheating on them. What a world.

Please make your future decisions wise ones and don’t risk contracting HIV. Best wishes for the children and for your treatment.

written by...., 16 September, 2011

So here’s my story I was with my boyfriend for a year when I found out He was sleeping with a stripper behind my back, I ended things with him and then found out I was pregnant I went an got tested for everything, an came back clean. He came crawling back before I even told him I was pregnant. I tried forgiving him but the trust we had before was gone. When I was 6 months pregnant he started acting funny again, he would barely touch me anymore. I had thought it was because I was already so big. But then one night I decided to go into his phone, he was messaging with the stripper again I confronted him an he said it was harmless, so I decided to message her to find out the truth. The stripper knew about me an didn’t care she even had the nerve to threaten me and my baby. My boyfriend said he didn’t cheat an that he’d never see or speak to her again. So I had my beautiful baby girl an I thought my boyfriend and I could work things out until I went for my 6 week checkup only to get a call from the doctor saying I have an STD an I caught it while I was pregnant, luckly it’s not one that can transfer to my baby. I told my boyfriend an not only did he not act surprised an acted like it wasn’t a big deal. I was beyond furious. But my boyfriend an I live together, I haven’t left because I don’t know what to do. I won’t let him sleep near me or touch me. I asked him if he’s gonna go tell the stripper that shes infected, but he said he won’t. I feel trapped, I think it’s wrong not to tell her if she doesn’t know, But I also have the feeling she already knew. And as far as my boyfriend goes I don’t know what’s going happen next.

written by sammy0071, 17 September, 2011

^^ to the person above:

It is really sad that this has happened to you. Good that the child is safe. I feel sorry for you because pregnancy is the time when the guy has to be very supportive. I hope he realizes things and gets back to you. I am pretty sure you deserve a better guy. It sucks when the loved one cheats on you. Be a great mom to ur baby girl!

written by laurab, 19 September, 2011

I was with a guy for a year and seven months we havent been together for at least A year i am so scared to get checked out

written by Men suck ass, 20 September, 2011

I found a gw and got it properly dx by dr after being married 8 years. Dr says he cheated. Husband says he didn’t and I brought disease into the house. Internet says hpv can be latent 20+ years so doesn’t necessarily mean cheating. He was into porn for awhile and I’ve caught him in other lies. He actually stole money from me and let me go to the police / file reports rather than admit he did it( he confessed later) what do I believe???

written by sammy0071, 22 September, 2011

Every guy who falls in love or gets married or single must read this page to know how not to treat a girl. After all, life is all about making the loved one feel happy and special forever.

written by sneaky girl, 28 September, 2011

I am 32 years old I have been with my kids father for 12 years. He won’t marry me. Hes cheap and I don’t love him no more! I cheat because he deserves it period! I have needs that are not being met! I need a fucking real man! Lately I haven’t used condoms with my lover! He is so sexy and makes me so OMG! But now I feel funny down there! Hope I don’t have a std!

written by the maleman, 29 September, 2011

i have read all of your stories just about and i can understand some of the anger u all have inside..last week my wife and i had unprotected sex and 3 days later i have some discharge leaking from my penis. i have done nothing to get this.. but 3 weeks prior to all of this she had std testing done due to some irregular periods and the dr. asked her if she wanted to be tested and she said sure why not, cuz she didnt wanna feel stupid for not getting one done.. so any way she plays this joke on me just to see what id say and tells me i gave her a std, never said what kind. but she says she did that just to see if i had been doing anything to see if i had some confessions.. but it was all a joke she finally told me she was only diagnosed with BV which is some form of vaginal bacterial infection that cant be passed thru sex but her dr. told her to tell me to get checked out just in case because it could be possible to pass it to me... but i never started having discharge symptoms until 3 days after we had sex... i went and got treated for all possibilities but ill get the results back in a week..im going to wait on the results before i tell her, but ill have to deny her sex. i mean it could very well just be the BV or some type of bacteria passed to me thats not std, i dont know. but i dont want to keep passing it to each other.

written by marriedto the scumof the earth, 23 October, 2011

My husband gave me herpes and is probably still out there passing it around. He is on several Internet dating sites and I know for a fact he does not use a condom. This means he could have given it to me before we were married. He was the first man I had sex with without protecting myself.

written by CT, 27 October, 2011

I caught HSV from an ex about 3 years ago, and now I’m dating another girl for 9 months. Haven’t told her about it yet, we plan on marrying each other, she moved in w me and she’s also pregnant. I never have and never will cheat on her...help.

written by CCC, 28 October, 2011

My husband was offended if I ever questioned his fidelity. He never touched anyone else. Ever. Well after my annual pap I got an abnormal result. My doctor said it was HPV and the likelihood of being infected prior to marriage (1995) was basically nil. I found out since he was cheating first year of marriage, when I was getting pregnant, thru pregnancy and nursing. 3 years. Lying the whole time. I remember him going for a check up during that time with a rash on his brain – I mean his ass – I mean his dick.
I was married 12 years. 2 kids. He was cheating – I think – the whole time and when I was most vulnerable and not telling me what was going on when he knew he had something. no one would believe it. He seems like the nicest guy.

When I told him he called and said he’d been tested and was clear of the virus so I must have gotten it from someone else. Which is fantastic news, especially given there is no test for HPV in men unless there is a lesion.

I’ve had 2 surgeries and my margins are clear.

I’m furious that I wasn’t notified – that I have basically no recourse. I have bills and risk going forward. Does anyone know legal options if there are any?

written by Lcc, 29 October, 2011

I live this miserable life everyday. The way I found out my husband cheated was through my annual pap. It’s the first time I have caught him on anything and becuz my children are so small I decided to give him a chance. Now that I’m back in this relationship I’m pregnant. I don’t know how to cope with all this it’s literally driving me crazy and he continues to treat me bad. I really need to leave again but my 2 kids is what stops me.... What should I do!

written by 1111, 10 November, 2011

I have been in a relationship for four years. I just found out I have chlamydia. I confronted him and he said I must have gotten it from whom ever I was with because he conveniently just tested supposedly tested negative. I have been faithful and he has not. He basically admitted to being with other women but still claims he does not have it.

written by JAJx3, 11 November, 2011

I just got a positive gonorrhea result. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years and just celebrated our 9th anniversary 2 days ago. He was also tested that same day I found out. I know I haven’t even one thought about cheating on him but I’m not so sure about him. I talked to public health today and they said that it can’t lay dormant for that long that you can only get it through sexual contact. We had unprotected sex on Fri and I was tested on Mon during my regular annual physical. He swears on our kids lives that he has never cheated on me and will even take a lie detector test but I don’t know what I believe. All signs point to him cheating. What do I do?

written by steven, 16 November, 2011

Since you guys are all serious..let me throw my story here.

I met this beautiful hot Indian girl and she told me she has Multiple sclerosis. I said am with it and I told her, I MIGHT HAVE HPV from my previous relationship...am not sure (I made my xgf to go for testing and pap came clear). This Indian gal agreed for it and she said am the one for her and slept with me. Later we got engaged with marriage set to sep 2011. But she always doubted me with women(I cant even look at any women)...she controlled me too much,where I cant even keep my head straight...then later we found out, she has HPV. I felt so bad, but she convinced me...baby don’t cry...we had sex consensually...its not your fault..don’t worry.

Two days later she found an email which I sent to my xgf (broke up 4 years) regarding a vehicle I gave to her and had unpaid tickets...This girl left my house and broke up the wedding... how great is that?

I never cheated on her, never slept with anyone, being so truthful to her from day one and told every single details finally to be dumped 1 month before wedding.

So, please don’t accuse men....women are crazy too sometimes...Will she ever regret leaving me for no freaking reason? maybe when she is in wheel chair suffering from cervical cancer....But it will be too late.

Steven

written by Spencer Clark, 17 November, 2011

I am a little offended at all the women who just blame the men. I had been married for about 13 years. I soon started feeling not so great to discover that I had contracted herpes. I haven’t cheated. So I confronted my wife who said she’s been sleeping with my best friend; somebody who I’ve trusted my entire life, we’ve known each other for about 25 years and now this. After finding this out, she kicked me out of my house, took my beloved three children, took my car and left me to the streets. My parents live across the world and have little contact with me, and the rest of my family is either dead or broken up. I ended up getting what little money I had left to get a cheap apartment and car. A few months later, I decided to talk to my wife and my ex-best friend answered the door to my house. He now is still dating my ex-wife and my children don’t even call me "dad" anymore after my ex brain-washed them into thinking I’m evil. Now I’m alone, single, and nobody wants me because I now permanently have herpes. Women seem to be more evil than men.

-Spencer

written by manslut, 18 November, 2011

I have read all the comments and I want to put my 2 cents in. I am a bisexual man who contracted HIV while I was in an open marriage. Basically my ex would have sex with me once in a while (have pity on my blue balls) but otherwise would leave me to fend for myself.
I didn’t have the time or money to find another woman to get my satisfaction but I found a lot of men (hundreds) who love oral and anal sex that they can’t get at home. Many don’t get sex at home and many more get sex but lie about it.
In a hundred men, I have used condoms maybe 10 times. Most of these men are married and many of them give and receive.
I don’t know if it is true for most of these men but it was true for me, when I tried to initiate sex with my wife and got turned down and it wasn’t because of illness or other good reason (just I don’t feel like it or I’m not in the mood) that didn’t deter me. I would usually try one more time to have sex with my wife.. I wouldn’t even feel guilty about cheating because I didn’t love these men, it was just sex with no strings. I also gave my ex first crack at me and was turned down.
If that didn’t work, I would cruise for a partner and horny men can find each other very easily. I would then have oral or anal sex with them sometimes taking their ejaculate into my mouth or rectum without a condom and sometimes giving them mine also without a condom.
What is the point of this story?
It is to say, remember, look at how you react to your man wanting to have sex and make sure you make yourself available. The other thing is your husband may not be cheating with a woman. Think about it.

written by John 3:16, 19 November, 2011

He joined a satanic cult- tried to forgive and bring him back to God- only to find he gave me HPV- Faithful wife of almost 10 yrs – he has never faced me in the light and truth – to confess what he did-I suffer in agony never wanted divorce but now I can never trust this man who cared not for my life or the vows we took-pain physical emotional and spiritual abuse I endure as well as the children he abandoned all spiritually emotionally etc... I loved him but something didn’t seem right after he joined that cult -I could feel it a pit in my stomach along w chest pain -No I didn’t want to falsely accuse w/o proof – The children all experiencing horrific experiences – all having to do with my husband- he minus any conviction lack of compassion cold bitter inside there is simply death in him-WHY did he do this? Why didn’t he listen to a heart who cared enough to over look the bad- yet here I sit infected-our vows stomped on and crushed tears staining Holy Scripture looking for love and comfort that only God can give- the many days upon which I cried and cried pouring rivers of tears-I know Jesus loves me and will always accept me and will never leave even when my husband abandoned me-But those endless sorrowful tears kept coming when its all crashing down – I left him he took all our belongings and got rid of them with no car for a year he finally gives us the car- did he also know his own daughter went cold bc he also refused to provide the childrens clothes? It didn’t matter bc God provided for them- and every drop of tear God caught in his very own hands- and "hugged me"-I still have no job and financially sometimes we will only have what few groceries we can get-But I know God will provide -God knows! I told my husband of the HPV – Yes he denied – But He is also lying in God’s eyes- the truth always rises and comes on top just like oil in water and the eyes of the LORD are 10,000 times brighter -He can’t hide in those lies -His outcome will not be good- and neither shall those he has had sexual relations with during our marriage-I tried to warn him I tried to tell him- He didn’t Heed this warning – and now He shall suffer- in my love I showed him-The loneliness w/o him painful but the compassion,companionship and togetherness w God greater in His love-Pray for all of us the battle has been hard and we r so wounded by this man’s bitterness and evil-Please Pray our tears have been so many and abused broken hearts we walk around inside- May the LORD Bless You for your compassion – Pray for all of those whose hearts and love has been betrayed- for healing and good health upon which we are now all infected with terrible decisions our husbands or wives boyfriends have made- Remember what the LORD says about Sexual Immorality >1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.Every other sin a person commits outside the body, but the sexual immoral person sins against his own body. "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God SILL Judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.-Hebrews 13:4

written by Joe Kramer, 25 November, 2011

I think I have HPV, and I have yet to get tested.I am currently overseas and I am about to fly back home,and I am getting tested the first day I am back. I have a fiance and we have a 6 year relationship and I cheated on her in our relationship when I was home on vacation in Jan of this year. I am going to tell my fiance to get a PAP and Test ASAP! I do not know how to tell her. I dont want to lose her, she is my world, and I know I messed up, but to lose her, I would not want to live anymore. She means everything to me. If there is a way I can tell her, and try to continue to be in our relationship, can somebody please help me. I am crying for help on this. I never meant to put her in danger and I know my dumb ass judgment will affect me for life now. I just know losing her would be DEVASTATING!!!!

written by Dr. Anonymous, 02 December, 2011

To the woman who said HPV cannot lie dormant. I’ve got a little news for you 90% of sexually active people ALREADY HAVE HPV and it...yes indeed...can and does stay dormant (non visible) MOST of the time. You need to check your facts. It doesn’t even mean your husband cheated. check webmd if you don’t believe me or ask any doctor. HPV causes genital warts but in most people it NEVER causes them at all, yet they test positive for it all day long!

written by ReallySad, 02 December, 2011

I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4. I had a gut feeling he was doing something he wasnt to be doing when he started sleeping in the living room, saying its because our daughter would wake up in the night crying and would affect him for work. Come to find out, like a teenager was actually going on "the party line at night" , to make matters worst, he then post a pic of himself on FB without a shirt...Some dooshbag chick who he knew from his younger days sees this and contacts him. "According to him, I made him feel like I didnt love him, didnt need him, & he didnt satisfy me." I admit i told him i wasnt in love with him, he can go IF he doesnt want to be with me as i dont FORCE love & I don’t orgasm because he ONLY focuses on himself. I DONT blame myself because THAT GIVES HIM NOOOO right to dishonor his wife and child. After 2 weeks, he noticed he had a rash or something and brought it to my attention. I really tried to forgive him and get through this...BUT NOW he tested positive for NGU and i have Cerixitis. We will get results in 2 weeks for all the other TEST. This man put my feelings and health on the backburner for a moment of "satisfaction" from some WHORE who cared less about disrupting a married mans home. The men are DISGUSTING , but there NASTY ass women are foul. How could they have no respect for them selves and other women. How could he be attracted to female with No self respect. Its really hard to say what I am going to do. Hopping from relationship to relationship isnt my thing. I’ve been with him since 17. But we have a daughter and I need to be an example to her as well. This time its curable, next time i may not be so lucky. I dont trust him anymore. I thought he LOVED me. We had went to a party the day before he cheated and dinner the evening he left to go ruin our marriage forever!! So lost right now. He is suppose to have my back.

written by summertime54, 04 December, 2011

MY GOD! what is this world coming to. My husband of 23 years did the same thing to me. As much as i love him. if he did it once and gave me an std he will do it again. All I want after 4 years of dealing w trust and std’s is for him to pay his alimony and leave me to find my peace. There should be a law against people doing this to other people. giving people stds/ hiv is criminal. it was as if someone raped me.

written by Kellie0836, 06 December, 2011

If anyone’s interested in getting tested for STD, or just want questions answered, call this toll free number 1-888-653-9677. They helped me some time ago, and It really relieved the stress and worry.

Cheers!

written by angryNconfused, 07 December, 2011

my husband of 19 years cheated with a mutual friend someone he referred to as like a little sister. I only became aware when I was diagnosed with HPV and now have repeat pap smears every 6 months. I’ve already had a colposcopy too. He denied cheating until I explained what he had passed to me. he also tried to lie a out who he was with. he claimed it was a stripper at a club, at that point I knew it had to have been someone I knew. 10 months after diagnosis we’re still together and now he has oral herpes!! he denies being with anyone and doesn’t know how he could have gotten it. his excuse maybe a shared drink! not sure what to think, well really I do!! now just confused: (

written by foreal, 09 December, 2011

First of all ladies dont think ur man cheated on u cause u have the STD Trich. Man can carry it for years and if treated for it, it comes back. Man have no symptoms of the STD. So we have no idea we even got it until how mate has the symptoms and u both need to take the meds and it want come back again. I have been with the same woman for years and had no idea until she thought she had i yeast infection and went to the GYN and she said it was this STD i never heard of. So dont be quick excuse ur man of cheating. Could be some he really didnt know he had.

written by Had no idea!, 11 December, 2011

It was reassuring in some way to read these posts. My husband has gambled away tens of thousands of dollars and spent thousands of dollars on porn and prostitutes. After refusing to give me any financial records, his attorney told he had to. I discovered that he had sent $3,000 to a woman in Russia and had bought an airline ticket for her to join him in London on what I thought was a business trip. He also spent over $6,000 in one four day trip to Hong Kong at hotels, bars and night clubs. He even charged hundreds of dollars to a women’s clothing store--and it wasn’t for me. I had no idea any of this was going on. None. We had separate accounts and I didn’t have any idea. I guess I was naive, but I had no reason not to trust him. He has faxed me the results of his HIV and Hepatitis C test results-both negative, but if he happened to be positive for HIV, the antibodies might not show up for six months. I am going to Planned Parenthood and getting every test possible. I am so devastated that he would put my health at risk. All the time he was telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that no one had loved him as deeply and as well as I did. This was just weeks before he left. I HATE him. I hate what he did, but I want him to undo it all and be the husband I thought he was. At the same time, I know that it was all based on betrayal and lies.
Thanks for listening.

written by...., 12 December, 2011

What is TRICK caused from i have been with my boyfriend for three years and have gotten three paps in my life when i got with him and i was fine and last year i was fine. Well here recently i got one and they said i have trick with is curable. My boyfriend swears he didn’t cheat and i know i haven’t. Is there any other way i could have gotten this????

written by JustCallMeStupid543, 12 December, 2011

All I can say is why do we believe these SOBs, and why do we keep thinking the next one will be better? I’m either going to go gay or become a cat lady and live alone the rest of my life. Men are pigs.

written by Sad mom of two, 13 December, 2011

Is it bad that I knew going into my marriage that my husband was a cheater? He said he changed was willing to move and start over. We got married in January 2011 and since then there have been plenty of signs.. Finding condoms (of course not his) girls calling at 3am, him not coming hm until 4 or 5am. Calling a girl he cheated on me with before we were married.... We move forward, we have two girls (1 and 3) and I really want us to work. In October things got worse-he moves out, we go to counseling and try again.. He moves back in 3 weeks ago.. 3 days after he moves in we find out were expecting our third child. Were both excited! Our family will now be complete I go in to hear the babies heartbeat and get a pap done. Never suspected anything.. Then today, my dr calls me and says I have chlamydia... He says he’s been faithful for the last 18 months, but I know in my heart it’s not true. I’ve never cheated on him because I know what it feels like and it’s just not worth it. He will never admit it, but here I am 9 weeks pregnant – with my excitement turning to darkness I hate to think of having an abortion but I just can’t imagine having another baby and raising 3 kids as a single mom... Because we are over. He doesn’t know it yet-but I have no more love for someone who continually treats me like a piece if shit. I’m passed the tears and anger-just trying to survive!!
After typing... I can’t believe I would put the blame on an unborn baby!!

written by Mr. Paranoid, 19 December, 2011

All these stories scare the hell out of me. To the one gal who said all men cheat on their wives is sadly mistaken. I would agree most guys cheat or at least think about it. Yes it is in our nature BUT we can fight that urge. Quite frankly diseases or "infections" as they are labeling them scare me straight. No my wife is not having any sex for over a year because of hormonal issues, and yes I have wanted to go elsewhere because of my animal brain urges. However I absolutely refuse because contracting something like this is just not worth it. I have been checked and have revealed to my wife I am completely clean and I intend to stay that way. If she cannot have sex then hey I will have sex with myself instead

written by..., 26 December, 2011

I too was lied to. My boyfriend whom I meet when I was 13 and had been together since I was 15. I am now 20. We recently broke up for other reasons. I noticed that I started to have constant discharges so I went to get tested. Me being absolutely confident that it was nothing and telling the nurse how much of a great guy that my exboyfriend was before so there would be no reason for an std or anything. I’m in class and receive a call from the clinic. Receive a voicemail being asked to call back. I call thinking positive I’m asked to go to the clinic for my results. They end up telling me I tested positive for chlamydia. I didn’t know how to react. Luckily they told me it was curable, so I took the 4 pills. I contact that a#@h*##@ brother because we don’t talk anymore and told him what happened. So he calls me a week later saying that my ex tested negative and I received it from being a flusy. I NEVER cheated on him! Then his bestfriend calls me telling me to get tested because my ex had tested positive!!! Why lie about something serious and accuse me of false things??? Seriously some men deserve to be castrated!

written by !!!!!, 29 December, 2011

Hi. im a guy. i married my wife last year. i recently found i had genital warts. it had laid dormant for at least 1.5 years. i have been faithful to her, and her to me. i have never even thought of cheating on her. she went with me to the doctor to have them burned off. the doctor told her to her face it can lay dormant for that long. so, all u ladies saying it cant, IT CAN. get off your f****** soap boxes.

written by DUDE 13, 04 January, 2012

Don’t put it all on men because the woman I have been in love with for 17 months has given me a STD and she is denying everything. I tried so hard to believe that she couldn’t have given it to me but she did. I’m the type of man you may look at and be like yea right you look like you can do whatever but I thought I found a woman that I would never hurt and put my all into her but she has giving me a STD. I feel so bad I don’t know what to do and when I told her she broke up with me because she was hurt that I would think she gave me something. WTF, really, I just want to talk to her and ask her why but she flipping the script and telling me she never wants to talk to me again. Thing is I don’t want her in my life no more anyway, I cant trust her!

written by DO SOME RESEARCH, 07 January, 2012

What does it mean for our relationship?
A person can have HPV for many years before it is found or causes health problems. So there is no way to know if your partner gave you HPV, or if you gave HPV to your partner. HPV should not be seen as a sign that you or your partner is having sex outside of your relationship.

Source:http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-and-men.htm

written by Angel2012, 09 January, 2012

Just found out that my husband had given me a STD after my recurrent miscarriages. We had been married for 3 years. Apparently he cheated on me with his ex while visiting his children from that relationship. Disgusting. words can’t describe how much I hate them now. Had heard stories about how his ex sleeps around...etc. I had to wash my self several times a day cause I am feeling dirty...the dirty can never been washed out. It also turned out the day on my previous miscarriage, he was cheating on me again with her...now I’m filing for a divorce. He owes the lives of my angel babies.

written by Waitingonit, 09 January, 2012

Is there a link between Bacterial Vaginosis and NGU (or any other bacterial infection)? I went to the doctor today because I thought I had an uti, however, the doc said I have no uti. This has happened to me 4xs in 12 mths and the doctors all say the same thing. I get tested for STDs probably over 2xs a year because I’m a worrier, but they all come back negative. But the doc did say it may be a bladder infection (getting tested for that Thursday), which can have the same symptoms as an uti. But back to the BV...she looked under the microscope to see if she could find any obvious signs of an infection from vaginal secretions and she said I had BV. I got the medicine for the irritation while urinating and BV, my STD results will take a few days. My boyfriend has been having uti symptoms for 3 days and itching inside his penis (his words), so he’s going to get checked out Thursday as well. He thinks he may have NGU (he got it from someone years ago so he knows how it feels)... so he’s looking at me and I’m looking at him like WTF >_>

written by alwaystrulyme, 21 January, 2012

I am only 19 years old and 37 weeks pregnant. I lost my virginity at 18 to my fiance and a few months later became pregnant after a month of discovering I was pregnant his baby mama came to my house and told me that he cheated on me and she was also pregnant. Two days ago I was called to the doctor to be told I have gonorrhea. I was tested about 5 months ago and tested negative now 5 months later I am positive for an std. I asked how many times did he cheat and he claims it was just that one I am so confused I have not been with anyone but him I know he is lying but I don’t want to believe it even though he has already cheated once. This has been the most depressing part of my life when its supposed to be the most exciting. I have no clue what to do.

written by Never thought it would happen again!, 30 January, 2012

As I scrolled down this page and read every single story, my heart hurt. For I too know this pain all too well. My husband and I have been together for ten years and married for just one year. We have two beautiful daughters, 3 and 2. This man has been my only love and ONLY sexual partner. I have been with him since I was 15. I lost my virginity to him and he said he lost his to me as well. When we met I just knew I wanted to marry him and have his children. Sounds kind of a silly thing to think about at the age if 15. He was one year ahead of me in school so when he graduated from high school he went off to college 2 hours away and I stayed behind. We continued our relationship all the way through both our college careers. At the end of his senior year and moving back home, both our mothers and I went up to his apartment to move his things back to our home town. While he was putting things in the truck downstairs, a woman came to his door and asked for him and asked who I was( in the nastiest tone). I informed her I was his girlfriend of 5 years and who the heck was she!?! At that time he came back up to the room and proceeded to lead her forcefully down the stairs all the while she’s yelling " girlfriend! GIRLFRIEND YOU HAVE A FU**ING girlfriend!?!". At that point I just knew he had been cheating and had a whole other relationship with this girl. He of course made up some story about how she was a friends girlfriend, and she was mad because of blah blah blah. Fast forward to a few years later and I’m pregnant with our first girl. One day he left for work and left his phone so I looked in it and saw texts to someone under a fake name. By the conversation I knew it was a girl. I called her and it was the same chick who came to the door that day we moved him out. I was heart broken. Anyhow he denied being with her still, even though she told me in great detail of their relationship. He said she was jealous. We had our baby and I thought were working things out. We were living together and our baby was about 9 months old. He had been coming home at all hours of the night if even coming home at all. I found a used condom in his pocket ( which he said he only used to masturbate into). Needless to say I kicked him out. We weren’t living together but he still came over once a week or so to get sex. Like an idiot I gave it to him. Then one evening he came to house in tears saying he was sorry he had messed up and was with someone and she gave him chlamydia. I got tested positive for it and took the meds. To this day he still denies being with her but for second. The story changes but when he told me the first time in tears the story went they had sex but for only five minutes with a condom and he stopped cause he felt guilty( sounds like that’s a common excuse). Blah blah we moved through it because we had a new baby and loved each other, he said he’d change his behavior. Then I find out I’m pregnant again with our second girl. Things stayed pretty normal for a while. He then joined the service to support our family and take care if us. We married and now live overseas in our first duty station. Things felt so great between us. He works really hard as do I raising our girls. I really felt like the stuff that went down in our past was behind us. Hes been affectionate, we have an active sex life and although we fuss every now and then, things were comfortable and nice. Well just last week I started having period like pain on one side. I was nauseous, low in energy, and started bleeding very heavily( it wasn’t my regular period date). Obviously I felt like something was wrong. I went to be seen and the doc said it was most likely an ovarian cyst. They ruled out ectopic pregnancy. So I was transferred to to local hospital for further testing and to have an ultrasound to see whats up. Honestly, the moment I started feeling sick I had a gut feeling it was an STD. After blood tests, pee tests, pap smear, an ultrasound and an MRI. The results were in that I had chlamydia, I just found out yesterday. I have never been unfaithful to my husband. And from what I know the only way to get this and most STDs, is through sexual contact. Since I’ve ONLY EVER BEEN WITH HIM I know he’s cheated. When I told him the results he couldn’t believe it. He accused me of cheating!

written by Never thought it would happen again cont.., 30 January, 2012

He completely denies ever cheating. He says I’m the only one and have only ever been. Well since chlamydia doesn’t fall from the sky and into womans vaginas, I KNOW it came from him. My heart is broken. I feel like an idiot! It was my choice to stay with him the first time, but I can’t do it again. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Although I am dying inside from the betrayal, The fact he denies it, and the fact that we have a family together in spite of this, I have to be strong. I have to take my life into my own hands instead of giving him the right to screw with my well being by cheating. I’m bummed to say the least. And I know I’ve just written a very long story, but I literally have no other outlet.
I’m worth much more than being lied to and cheated on. I hope that by sharing my story other women can know they are not alone in this epidemic. Try to keep your heads up. And even though this is just day two of finding out, I’m not going to shaken! I am beautiful, marvelous, intelligent and caring! I WILL NOT LET ANYONE TREAT ME OR TELL ME OTHERWISE
Peace be with you

written by Please help, 14 February, 2012

Ladies, What would you have done? I found my husband in bed with a prostitute. I’m devastated and sick to my stomach.I came home early from out of town and he was doing her doggy style. I was so shocked I was screaming and throwing things at him, she managed to get out of the house naked. He’s gone. This was last weekend and I haven’t stopped crying. He found her ad on Backpage escorts. I called her and left three nasty messages. She called back and apologized profusely and told me he said he wasn’t married. She said she always asks if someone is married when they go to their house because it makes her uncomfortable (aaaaaw a hooker with a heart of gold) He said "NO" he wasn’t, the entire house was dark and she said he brought her right into the bedroom. I do believe her but I want to KILL him. I’ll write more later as I start shaking while thinking of this. I found her pictures online and have been calling her for more information, he won’t tell me anything. What questions should I ask her and I should I take it to get her arrested? I’m so torn and don’t know who to be mad at! What would you guys have done if you caught him in bed with a hooker?

written by Mrs. harrison, 20 February, 2012

I am glad to see others in my situation. I dont feel so alone. My hisband had admitted to cheating on me twice. both times drunken one night stands while I was out to sea, as im in the navy. The most resent.was with a best friend of mine. Now that I am 17 weeks pregnant I somehow have been diagnosed with anal herpes. Since im in the navy we are regularly tested for std’s.on my 14 week mark I was blood tested with a negative result for herpes and other stds. I have never had sex with anybody else sinse married to my husband. He claims I must have contracted it from what looked like a yeast infection on his wrist were he wears his watch. Since I know hsv2 is contracted sexualy, i know I got it from him. But he chooses to deny it. But its ok he doesnt exude the symptoms if he has it. im concerned as to hoW I even contracted it. Dont know what to really do.im stuck with a cheTing husband and the risk of passing on herpes to my child.

written by Black Diamond, 03 March, 2012

I had been in a relationship with my husband for 9 years. We decided to get married Oct 2010. Six months into the marriage I found out he was communicating with someone on the telephone texting each other. He admitted it to me and I forgave him. Six months later two days after our year anniversary I found out I had clap (gonorrhea). He says he never had sex with anyone but me, but I know he is lying. I left him and filed for divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater. I love myself more. It is hard getting over him but I know I made the right decision. It it could have been HIV and I am not sticking around to get that.

written by Noorie, 08 April, 2012

My husband of six yrs has been cheating on me since we got married when I was pregnant with our 2nd child I found condoms several in his bag cos he works in another town he denied everything, I heard a recorded phone conversion with him and two girls he was asking them to f***, a girl called him and I answered she told me he was a liar and a cheat and he raped her with his friend and all this instances he denied and made excuses. Forward 4yrs after my 3rd baby he started keeping late night and drinking wen I ask he says he goes out with his friends to clubs to make business deals, he even took me there once to show me where he goes every night but then one night he was out and drunk he called me by mistake and I cud hear everything he was in a club with his friends and a girl and he took her to a room to f***! My god I heard everything! N wen I asked at first he denied and later he confessed and said he was sorry that he’s a changed man so I told him I was getting tests for all stds so he decided to go first, he tested positive for syphilis but I tested negative is that possible? I’m so hurt and confused I don’t want to leave my children cos where I live husbands always keep the children, but I can’t be with him anymore but he’s been very remorseful and so sweet these days and swears he loves me and never wants to lose me, I dunno what to do, so confused. Thanks for reading such a long story but i needed to tell someone and I need advice.

written by Heather123, 05 May, 2012

I have a question ladies, I recently had an abnormal pap smear and it came back as mild dysplasia for cervical changes. My dr. told me it is not cervical cancer because we can prevent that? Well, I got married 1 year ago and I havent been with ANYONE else besides my husband for over 2 years! I just had a pap about 9-12 months ago for my pregnancy and everything came back fine so I dont understand why this is showing up now! Does this mean my husband is cheating on me???

written by HurtConfusedAndPregnant, 20 July, 2012

I met my husband in January 2011, we started out as friends with benefits and quickly began dating, and within 3 months we were engaged. We went a year with no problems but he didn’t get along to well with my mother who we were temporarily living with, he went and stayed with friends insisting we were fine and that he loved me. (We had also learned just before our 1 year anniversary that I was pregnant with our 1st child.) Soon he started treating me terribly saying that I got pregnant to trap him, then saying that he didn’t think he was the babies father and even going as far as to say he was sterile. Well he is the ONLY man I have EVER been with, he was even my first kiss. But stupid me was in love and refused to let him go it didn’t help that he was still saying he loved me and he wanted me to be his wife. After a month he came home and we were fine. In March I went to the doctor for the baby and got all of my cultures and pap and std screenings that they do for everyone and everything came back clear.. But about a week later I noticed a couple of bumps, I assumed it was a pregnancy symptom or some kind of irritation from my clothes, I never even considered an std, so we were fine and got married in April. I am now 37 weeks pregnant and noticed that the "bumps" have transformed into warts and my doc confirmed it. I don’t know what to do. He swears on our unborn son that he has never and will never cheat on me. He says he loves me and our son too much to ever risk losing us, and that he would kill himself if he lost us. I know I didn’t cheat but all of a sudden I have GW and HPV. Not only am I at risk but my unborn son is at risk and even after reading all of these stories I still cant let him go. I just don’t know how to confront him, I know he will try to turn it on me, but worst of all, I love him too much and like I said I cant let him go. I understand GW and HPV can lie dormant but how would my paps have come back completely clear? And more importantly how do I confront him without losing my husband and the father of my unborn son?

written by shocked and hurt, 09 December, 2012

My boyfriend wanted to try for a baby, and I wanted one too. So we tried. I got pregnant that month and went to the doctor when I was 4 months pregnant. The doctor calls me the next day telling me to come in and when I go in she informs me that I have chlamydia...I was in complete shock. I was tested exactly a year before when I was pregnant and all STDS were negative, when I called him and told him to come clean he acted stupid and said he didn’t cheat. When I said he gave me Chlamydia he said he cheated on me and it was only a one night stand. He had told me a year before that this girl had Chlamydia too.. I was in complete shock and I seriously believe he has mental issues. I asked him why he slept with her and let alone without a condom knowing she had Chlamydia, and he said he thought it was a rumor. It doesn’t mean you go and fuck her without a condom behind my back! Ugh, and to top it all off I find out that he cheated on me a month before he wanted to "be with me forever" and have a baby with me. I feel like he just wanted to trap me. And now I feel absolutely depressed.

written by Betrayed and trying to understand, 22 December, 2012

I too like the rest of you just found out i have been betrayed by my husband who has infected me with an STD (trich). Its awful and i’m lost, but he did go to my doctor so that we can both receive the same treatment.
Now do I stay or do I go?
Sincerely,
Lost

written by SheBrokeThisGuy, 13 January, 2013

Ladies I feel really very sorry for you...

I was with my lover of 9 years, a good Catholic Irish girl... 45, I am 41... I have been as faithful as from day one, forever...

Here’s the kicker, In November for my birthday last year, she was in a hotel with another man on the day, I know this because of the day and the credit card receipt...

We went out for drinks that night and she drank like it was HER birthday... (guilty as firetruck) only to make love to me later on that night and give me the most horrible surprise as I woke up on Nov 29 with glandular fever... (Mono) followed later on by guess who... herself.

Of course she denies it... and the affair too...

And then on top of which breaks it off with me 2 weeks before Christmas...

She has broken this fella...

No respect for the sanctity of OUR relationship, you have to go to someone else and get it and give it to me... I feel so violated... So ashamed and so deceived...

Now I can’t play sport for a year... because if my spleen takes an elbow and ruptures... I could die...

OUT! she’s gone back to her 60yo sugar daddy, joining the line of women who service his "equipment" for the few trinkets and trips that he uses to keep them "happy"...

All this after me building her business from floundering to fantastic...

It sucks.

Big time.

Why cheat???

written by SHYGUY, 02 February, 2013

I had a girlfriend of four years who was a nice Catholic girl (kind of a flirty wandering eyes sort of gal- but that’s how I met her so I overlooked it). A few months into our relationship she went with her friends to a ‘festival’ in Oregon (we were in CA) and a couple of days after she returns, she tells me she kissed a ‘good buddy’ of hers, she was crying so profusely I felt like I was the wrong one for being angry and hurt over what she did (stupid, right?). Well, two years later she goes out of town to visit some more of her college buddies down south in CA. She makes some joke before she leaves town about how they were all so promiscuous and sleeping with each other and many of them had given each other STDs like HSV and clamidia (bi guys, gay guys, straight and ‘experimenting’ lesbian-until-graduation girls). She actually laughed like this was funny. A few weeks later, we move into a place together...everything seems fine until she comes home crying and screaming at me- "you gave me HERPES! I am DISEASED for the rest of my life!!!" She had noticed a raw spot on her inner vulva that began to hurt and swell each passing day. I was mortified! I had given an sti to the love of my life?!? Well, I was raised by a mom who was a nurse and I called her, even feeling like a guilty shmuck that had HSV I asked my mom about it. I told her I hadn’t been anywhere else and that maybe some girl in my past gave it to me. My mom of course told me to get tested and when I did-well, guess what, I didn’t have HSV 1 or 2. I nearly Sh@t a brick when I mulled over the possibilities. I gave my ex the test results and she FLIPPED. See, she was wholly ready for me to show up positive so her story would be airtight. Instead, she accused me of faking the results(???), she told me to get RE-TESTED (who has money for that w/o insurance & also the Dr. would think I was crazy), then she resigned herself to the fact that she had contracted this on her own. She started making up stories like "maybe a toilet seat, maybe I kissed one of my friends when I was drunk (what you kiss with your crotch? COME ON!), maybe this/that/other." Eventually we broke up because she started a "non-physical relationship" with some stranger we me while volunteering (she was making eyes at him WHILE WE WERE IN MEETINGS!!!) in New York. I felt like complete trash. Not only did she try to blame me for her indiscretions she left me when I had just started trusting her again. Now I have paranoia about relationships and I am afraid this is impacting my current relationship. I will seek help for this because the distrust is incessant. I wish the best to all the brave people who have shared their stories here for people to learn from. Thank you all.