My husband is a serial cheater

My husband has been cheating on me for most of our 22 years together, and we have almost split twice over the past 4 years. I know he is cheating again as I found emails on his work computer. I cannot confront him outright as I should not be in his work email, so am at a loss but I have had enough of this and his saying sorry I won’t hurt you again, only to be duped again. He lies to my face and the last affair was almost 2 years before she moved away, and now he has a new one and looking for more. Yes, he is a serial cheater – that is fairly obvious. I am wife number 3 and his first marriage he cheated with who became his second wife, he tells me they split because she cheated, but I am now wondering if she did because he cheated on her too. This seems to be part of his past and I don’t believe he will ever change.

Response:

You have several options. You can decide to stay with your husband knowing that he cheats and will probably continue to cheat. Some individuals can turn a blind eye to a spouse’s infidelity. There can be more to a marriage than sexual fidelity. You need to decide if the benefits you get from your husband (e.g., companionship, social support, caregiving, etc.) outweigh his lack of faithfulness.

On the other hand, if the costs of staying with your husband outweigh the benefits, then it is in your best interest to talk to a counselor and consider moving on with your life. Being single is better than staying in an unhealthy relationship.

Based on your description, there is little reason to believe that your husband will change his behavior. Some individuals are prone to cheating and will only stop when threatened with divorce, but resume their old habits eventually (see who is likely to cheat).

 cheating husband | end of relationship

Other Options:

  • View all tags (specific issues)
  • View all questions listed by topic (broader focus)

I have my own question to ask

Truth About Deception – back to our home page.