Heard my boyfriend cheating on a voice message

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and we’ve been through a lot of stuff together.

I recently received several voicemail messages where I heard my boyfriend having sex with another woman and it was while he was at work and there’s only one woman that works same shift that he does.

I asked my boyfriend and he says what I heard on my phone wasn’t true. It wasn’t him and he keeps on lying about it and won’t admit it. And on top of that I don’t know if he’s still having sex with her. What should I do?


Most affairs and betrayals come to light by accident. So, if your boyfriend accidently dialed you while having sex with someone else, this wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. Most people get caught cheating because of simple mistakes (see accidental discovery).

If there is someone you trust to keep your confidence, it might help to get another person’s take on what you heard in those voice messages. It never hurts to get a second opinion that your interpretation is correct.

The best way to confront a partner about any problematic issue is to focus on your feelings and not his or her behavior (see confront a partner and talk about problems). You want to raise the issue without creating a defensive response where your partner lies about what happened. Once a partner lies about their actions, it can be very difficult to get them to actually tell the truth (see husband won’t confess).

Given the situation you’re in now, it may be helpful to gather additional evidence regarding your boyfriend’s infidelity (see catch a cheating partner). If you’re able to confirm that your boyfriend cheated on you and lied about it, then you can decide if your relationship is worth trying to save (see surviving infidelity).

Without knowing the truth and being able to reestablish trust, most relationships eventually fall apart. Focus your energy on finding out the truth and try to decide if you can work through this issue with your boyfriend. If not, it might be wise to explore your options for ending the relationship.

 cheating boyfriend | confront lying | denies infidelity

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