Exposed a cheater and it backfired

I have a friend who works out of town and his girlfriend stays here. She is also considered one of our friends. She has been cheating with another mutual friend and we have confronted her. She told us she would do anything not to lose him, even lie since he pays all her bills.

We told our friend she was cheating and he believed us for 8 hours. Then he told us all we are lying and she would never do this, even though we had caught them in the act.

She convinced the guy she was cheating with to lie as well, seeing as he has also been in a 7 year relationship that he doesnwant to end.

We have been alienated by a few of our other mutual friends. Where do we go from here?


All relationships are extremely complicated. Taking an active role in a friend’s relationship is never a wise course of action. Most people have a strong tendency to belief the person they love. It is called the “truth bias” and it is difficult to overcome. When people have invested so much time and energy in a romantic partner it is hard to see things clearly. It is much easier to believe that a friend would make up stories than a romantic partner would lie.

Lesson to take away from this situation:  Focus on your own relationship. Let your friends focus on theirs. You might also want to read an article we wrote on the topic.

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