Getting over an affair as the other woman

I need advice on how to get over an affair I had with a married man. We were friends first and then our friendship got to close and we crossed the line. I tried to stop, but I guess not hard enough. I don’t know much about his marriage but he never talked about leaving and I really never expected it. In fact, I pushed it out of my head that he was really even married, we worked together so we saw each other everyday and outside of work we saw each other about 2 to 3 times a week.

After about a year and a half his wife became suspicious and we had to cut down, then I left my job and we saw each other less, now because his wife is really suspicious and they are getting strange phone calls as am I, we can’t see each other at all. I am so screwed up over this whole thing and have been for years, because I always said I would never get involved with a married man. I have been torn apart by feelings of hating myself and him, and loving, and missing him. My mental health and physical health are being affected. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what to believe from him anymore, I think he may be seeing someone else. I feel like a lost my best friend, because we used to talk a lot and confide in each other. What should I do?

Response:

The end of any close relationship, even an illicit relationship, can be devastating. The end of an intimate relationship creates a tremendous sense of loss, insecurity, and confusion (see romantic attachments).

So, our best advice is to talk to a counselor during this time to help you move beyond this experience. Simply having someone to confide in helps people cope with their emotional pain.

And it is probably in your best interest not to have any contact with him, even if the possibility arises. Having any contact with him will only prolong the misery for everyone involved.

 other woman

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