My husband wants to stay in touch with the other woman
My 44 year old husband was starting a relationship with a 22 year old that he met online at a dating website. The relationship was becoming serious. Then my husband stated that he realized how important our marriage was and decided he was going to fight for us.
He told me that he shared all his thoughts with her and all our secrets.
He now thinks that because he came to me and told me about her, that he decided that our marriage was worth fighting for, that it would be okay to keep in touch with her, phone calls, emails. Cause after all, he has decided he loves me and she is just a friend.
I feel that there is no place for her whatsoever in our lives. Why would you keep a "smoking gun" around? How could I possibly trust that there would might be a ”flair up" of those old feelings?
Am I being unreasonable?
To this day, I found where he has emailed her and called her… why would he need to still contact her if all was well with us?
He says that I am the one with the problem, that if I truly loved him that I would trust that he could be friends with her and that nothing would happen.
I don’t see how keeping contact with her could be a good thing. I am unable to find any closure when I am constantly reminded of her existence.
If you have any advice to give me on what I should do, I would truly like to hear it.
Sometimes it takes an affair for someone to realize how much they love and appreciate their current spouse.
And it is normal and reasonable for people to stay in contact with an ex. Just because a romantic relationship comes to an end does not mean that individuals must give up their concern and appreciation for each other. Ex-lovers often share memories, understand each other, and they can play an important role in each other’s life (see contact with ex).
With that said, however, your situation is a different. Your husband’s ex-lover is not someone that he knew before he dated you. His ex-lover is someone he cheated on you with while you were together. And relationships are about give-and-take. Your husband took something from you and now he expects you to give him the freedom to stay in contact with the other woman.
For most people, this is an unreasonable request.
I have my own question to ask
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