Past Comments – Boyfriend denies using pornography

written by Lynn P, 10 October, 2006

I found out, once my boyfriend moved in, that he has a HUGE stash of porn movies, and was spending pretty much all of his free time after he got home, and before I did, watching it and masturbating. Now, I could understand it when he was alone, but we have an extremely active sex life and he is never turned down for sex, so to have this stuff in my house on a continual basis is highly disconcerting. I did talk to him about it, calmly on several occasions, and he agreed not to watch it. Lies – I caught him. This prompted another serious discussion, and we made a bet that he wouldn’t watch it for 2 months. That lasted for 2 days, but he lied again to me about watching it. I don’t agree with the message in these responses that porn is something that "guys do." I believe there is a serious addiction problem, at least in my case, and where there is deception along with it, I’m positive. I do want to seek professional help because this is unacceptable to me in it’s current form. Don’t ever compromise your own value system to put up with something you are uncomfortable with.

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written by lch6879, 30 January, 2007

If your boyfriends are looking at porn that seriously... leave. I denied my intuition about a previous boyfriends porn habits, married him, and it was a disaster. Always go with your intuition. Porn is an addiction, and you will lose in the end.

written by Promises, 25 February, 2013

Porn addicts will always act out, they will go deeper into more extreme porn, they will prefer their own company more and more leaving their partner more lonely. They will cheat whenever opportunities come up, they will choose porn over their relationship with anyone. They become what addicts become: users, deceitful, destructive. They will drag their partners down. Any remorse they show is never more than skin deep. As they speak, they are planning their next porn viewing.
Don’t touch a porn addict with a long pole.

written by Brittany Lost, 23 March, 2013

I got a problem.
My fiance and I have been together four years now.
He says he was a virgin when he got with me and I have believed him. It was until this year in the last four months I started to notice his email was starting to fill up with dating and porn sites.
The women were added as friends and had filthy profile pictures. He denies it all and let me block and delete them but even though I changed his settings he still just this week received 11 new messages about women wanting to fornicate with him. It appeared he had glanced at the messages but didn’t open them completely. Now it changed his settings again to where like no one can contact him and blocked the emails sending him this stuff.
Whenever I ask about it he gets defensive but
he is honest. I have his emails, passwords, and
can go through his phone occasionally but still
something doesn’t feel right.
There was a site I ordered sexy lingerie on his computer once and he bought it.
He blames these other sites on this one site saying it caused a virus but I still receive information on the same site and never get messages like that. What should I do, believe,
or say? I talk to him about if he likes porn 24-7 and he says no and have tried at least twice to watch some with him but neither of us liked it and closed out of it (porn site). He always says he doesn’t like it and I role play all the time and buy lingerie and try new things so again. What should I do, believe,
or say? I am lost and if he is lying I will be devastated.
Yes I hate porn and yes I understand why he would like it we have talked about it but why would he, if he is lying, lie?