Past Comments – How to cope with my constant jealousy

written by Guest, 29 March, 2006

My wife cheated on me 2 years ago. We have 5 kids and the 4th child we had I don’t know if he is mine or not. And I’m afraid to get a blood test. But when my wife goes out I’m afraid she’s doing it all over again. And of course I don’t wanna ask her, but if I say "where have u been she blows me off." What should I do?

Response:
written by Expert, 29 March, 2006

First, it is important to determine the paternity of your children. There are serious legal and medical implications involved. And eventually the truth will come out, better to be prepared to deal with it ahead of time – Paternity Issues

Second, you need to talk to your wife about how you are feeling. In all likelihood your feelings are going to have a negative influence on your relationship, unless you can talk about this issue with her – Talk About Problems

written by Guest, 24 May, 2006

My fiancee is a very jealous person. She has shared this with me and we have discussed this together. I tell her that we need to have a basis of trust in our relationship and she agrees but still I find her jealousy is starting augments and is actually pushing her away from me. At this point I’m just really debating if I should stay. I love with all my heart but when is it enough?

written by Jen1983, 30 May, 2009

I think if you’ve caught your partner cheating on you or lying in the past, you have every right to ask the pressing questions. If they’ve lied to you, they’ve depleted their credibility to some degree, and giving them the benefit of the doubt becomes more difficult.

I am in a common-law relationship with my boyfriend, for about 6 years now. He HAS cheated on me once in the past, and I chose to stay with him and work it out. It’s very hard because theres not really any instruction book on how to deal. I had many questions about it that i needed answers for, and probed him to the fullest.
However, since then, several times i’ve caught him telling me "little white lies", and regardless of how insignificant they may be, further and further deplete my trust, and im not sure what to do. It’s a pattern with him, and it makes it hard to have any kind of stability to our relationship.
Is there a point at which enough is enough? It’s so hard to think about leaving the life i have with him...but im still young and theres still time if i left now, i wouldnt have wasted 10 years trying to figure him out.
It’ll be the hardest thing i have ever done if I choose to leave...not sure if im willing to do it. Not sure if i could handle another lie.
...Oh, What to do...

written by Lies and Anger, 08 September, 2009

I can understand you being in a common-law relationship and not knowing wither or not to leave. Being in a relationship for a long period of time makes one think "why have I stayed this long and wasted all this time." But one must remember that it wasn’t a waste of time yet one HUGE lesson to learn from. I myself have been in a long term relationship for almost 5 1/2 years and have one child. He first cheated on me with my best friend and promised to leave me and take care of her and her children. After getting him back I myself eventually cheated on him...
It’s very hard to be able to trust again after such things have happened.. As I’m EXTREMELY paranoid now and on top of that angry.. extremely angry.