Discovered my husband’s stash of Viagra
I discovered two Viagra pills in my husband’s nightstand in 2015. When I confronted him, he told me they were vitamins. I looked up online and found they were Viagra. He told me his friend gave them to him and he hadn’t taken any yet. I recently started getting suspicious over a work cell phone that I couldn’t get into.
He only had it a couple of months, claimed he never used it and he forgot the password. He ended up giving it back to his company because it was locked out and he decided to not use it.
Just recently I found the baggie of Viagra in his dresser drawer, inside our closet where he changes, (relocated from the nightstand) used. He only had a half a pill left. He claims he used them with me but I think I would remember that!
Our sex life has really diminished in the last two years. He used to always come on to me. I’m usually the one to initiate lately. And he doesn’t seem to have any issue being aroused when I do so.
There is a woman at his job that I’ve been suspicious about. They exchange friendly emails together. Talk about movies and made plans to run a race together. Commonly came up in conversation with me but always referring to her as "his boss’s daughter" and not her actual name.
Been together 20 years. He’s never had any ED issues. In desperate need of opinions. He’s telling me I’m fabricating things, telling me I’m basically crazy.
Response:
Situations like this are always difficult to resolve.
On one hand, most people want to believe that their spouse is being faithful and don’t want to question everything and end up playing the role of a detective. On the other hand, sometimes spouses do cheat and they almost always lie when doing so.
There are several ways you can deal with this situation.
You can acknowledge your feelings—that you have some doubts and concerns about your husband’s behavior. It helps to acknowledge, rather than dismiss or ignore one’s feelings. It’s also useful if you can take that emotional energy and use it to improve your relationship. Take your anxiety and focus on two or three things that you can do to improve your relationship with your husband. What are some simple things you can do to make your relationship better? Plan a weekend getaway? Start a new hobby together? Try to listen to each other when talking?
You can also share your feelings with your husband in a non-confrontational way. Tell him that your concerned and anxious about the situation and just want the best outcome. Share your feelings without raising accusations and do your best to avoid turning the conversation into a confrontation. Just share your feelings and see what comes of it (see talk about problems).
Finally, you can also try to find out what’s going on by actively monitoring your husband’s behavior (see catch a cheating spouse). However, it’s useful to know that this pathway is the most problematic. In the worst case, you may discover an unpleasant truth and then have to deal with the loss of trust. In the best case, you’ll discover nothing, but betray your husband’s sense of privacy in the process.
Other Options:
I have my own question to ask
Truth About Deception – back to our home page.
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