I find this website offensive

I knew up front this site was questionable since you don’t cite any names with expensive letters after them, so it would seem these are merely your personal opinions. You claim to be "scholars, scientists, and working professions" but do not disclose who you are. Why is that? Probably because you all are actually a bunch of nobody’s.

To have a category "Pros and Cons of Lying" is very offensive to those of us who value honesty. Only a sick mind would ever consider that lying is any good, ever, and causes misery and pain when the truth comes out inevitably.

You give yourselves away by having ads by "ashleymadison.com" and the like. You conveniently do not have a category "pathological liars" which seems to be more what the writers here are.

And to have a link that is a "how-to" to lie indicates further that this site is nothing more than a sham by a bunch of little boys who got caught cheating at something or everything and don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.

Response:

Good question. To some extent, we do try to conceal our identities on this website.

Why?

Because we have no credentials as you suggest? Not really. All of the information provided is written by someone who holds a PhD in the social sciences.

But, we do try to remain somewhat anonymous because of the controversial nature of the topic—cheating, love and romance. People get very emotional about this topic and in some cases people have a difficult time separating “the message” from “the messenger.” Some people, when they encounter ideas that make them uncomfortable or ideas with which they personally disagree—rather than discuss or argue their point of view—they attack the messenger on a personal level. Your e-mail is a good example of this. Over the years, we have been harassed by people who dislike some of the ideas we express. Our goal is NOT to make people happy OR to tell people what they want to hear. Our goal is to present a balanced point of view when it comes to deception, love and romance—including points of view that we too find personally offensive. Concealing our identities gives us the freedom to be more candid.

We wonder why anyone would want to read a website which conformed exactly to their point of view? To begin with, who could produce such a website? A website that pleased everyone? If you could create such a site, by definition, it would contain no new information. Reading it would be a poor use of time (assuming that people read to gain information). Ideas are important and need to be shared, including ideas which people dislike. The exchange of ideas is what makes life so vibrant and interesting. Sharing ideas, however unpopular, also creates the opportunity for reflection and change.

Moreover, you say that you value honesty. Like most people, we value honesty too. Life would be impossible without the truthful exchange of information. But, with that said, life is complicated and deception, as well as honesty, plays an important role in social interaction. And it is possible to value both honesty and deception simultaneously; such values need not be mutually exclusive. To simply state that lying is morally wrong does very little to help people understand the dynamics underlying their behavior. If you are interested in exploring questions about the value of honesty and deception in social life, we suggest three excellent sources, which make great arguments for both points of view: Bok, Solomon, and Saxe (listed in our references).

With respect to the issue of advertising, yes, we have ads on our site. But, we don’t select the ads which get displayed; that is done by Google through their AdSense program. In an ideal world, we would prefer not to have advertising on our website, but constantly updating and maintaining a site of this size is more expensive than most people might imagine. At first, this site was nothing more than a just a few pages, but it has steadily grown in response to viewers’ questions and concerns. Advertising, which we try to keep to a minimum, allows us to constantly up-to-date our site free of charge.

The people who place ads on our site represent a diverse range of interests. Some advertisers are trying to help people cheat, some are trying to help people detect deception, some are trying to help people get a divorce, and some are even trying to help people save their marriage. On occasion, viewers to our website find the information they were looking for through an advertisement. When this happens, everyone wins.

Finally, we do have a section on pathological lying. We refer to it as compulsive lying.

All the best,

Truth About Deception

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