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Category: Infidelity
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Thursday, 20 October 2005 |
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I cheated on my boyfriend numerous amount of times in the last couple years of our 7 year relationship. I haven't been happy and couldn't break up with him. He does suspect and I try to stay with him without decieving him again everytime. I still feel this could be worked out between us. |
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Category: Forbidden Love
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Thursday, 20 October 2005 |
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I thought my husband had had an affair, so I had one. |
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Category: Infidelity
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Thursday, 20 October 2005 |
When I met my first boyfriend, i was still a virgin, and had only ever kissed a boy. i spent the next 5 years of my life true to him and never once looked at another bloke, but he was 3 years older than me so he was out in the clubs with his mates and was having sex with so many women behind my back and all along i knew, i found out everytime but still never broke up with him.
Eventually when i had had enough i broke up with him. Since then i have never been able to trust men, i have had many boyfriends and have enjoyed all of their company, but i have never stayed faith full to any of them.
14 months ago i met a man from London we spent 2 months together and then he travelled home. The thing is i feel as though i can trust him, for the first time in so long i feel i can trust again. We talk everyday on the phone and see each other all the time, the thing is that i have cheated on him so many times. I would be with a boyfriend over here and he'd ring and i'd go out of the room tell him i love him and then go back to my boyfriend.
My point is that i have finally found trust in someone else, but now i can't trust myself because of the lies I am telling him, and my lies have been to the 4 men that i have been seeing all at the same time, and my worst lie is to myself for believing that i can ever be in a loving or trustworthy relationship.
Deception to a person is cruel, but deception to yourself is emotional suicide. |
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Category: Lie A Lot
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Thursday, 20 October 2005 |
I am single, female, successful. I usually have three to four different men at the same time. With each one I have a different life. I spend time with them, they think we have an exclusive relationship. I have clothes in their closets and dressors. Often I have a car in their garage. I have four phone numbers for work and a cell phone, they each get a different number. I travel with my work and when I land in that city to work for a few weeks they meet their "girlfriend" at the airport. They all tell me "I love you" and "I wish you would quit your job to stay at home more". I have seven diamond engagement rings in a bank vault. I have met their families, spent holidays, gone shopping with their sisters etc.
I just can't make a committment and I enjoy them all. When I am with one, I am absorbed in our life together.
(Please, I am aware of HIV and STD's and practice safe sex. I and they have blood tests every three months. They know if they don't have the lab slips, and I have my work up that nothing is going to happen. I may even be frustrated and angry with them.
When they start making decisions like "quit your job, sell your home, marry me, stay with me forever" I tell them a few weeks later that I am being transferred to Europe. As soon as they say "forever" I feel trapped and run. When they start to change my life without asking me "quit, sell, marry" and don't consult me, I take off to someone else who is in the beginning stage of the relationship.
They never know or think that I can see anyone but them.
I wish I could be honest with them all and stop with the secrets. I did tell one and he said he understood, that one day I would know that he was the one man who could capture my heart and he would wait for that day. He doesn't date anyone when I leave, I told him to date and have a wonderful time while I was gone. He did for awhile, but as soon as my plane landed he slammed the door on her.
This is my secret: I am not "quitting,selling, relocating, marrying". I just wish that I could have a comfortable place with them all. I have to lie and lie and lie "where was the md conference" uhhh "did you get that new surgical tool" uuuuuhhhh "hey that's a pretty expensive necklace you treated yourself to". I slip "did Hillary do well on her test", "you mean Shelby, you must be stressed to get her name wrong" uuuhhh okay. The Secret is: I am comfortable with my Secrets. |
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Category: Lie A Lot
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Thursday, 20 October 2005 |
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I am the same way, but the male version. It is easy and fun for me to fall in love, until I feel like I'm being controlled or pressured into things I do not want to do. I have come to accept that my role in life is to remind others that when they put control before love they end up with nothing but a broken heart. |
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