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Category: Made a Mistake
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Monday, 13 February 2006 |
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I cheated on my boyfriend of six years. I got pregnant and hid it from everyone until I was seven months along. I finally told my doctor who arranged for me to leave the state and give the child up for adoption. My boyfriend eventually joined me in the new state never having known about the pregnancy or adoption. When he asked me why my stomache was hard, I told him that I had a hemorhage or an ulcer. I eventually felt terrible about the whole thing but in my defense, I walked in on him cheating a couple years earlier. That doesn't justify but I felt like I was getting back at him eventhough he had no clue. My point is - always tell the truth - no matter how you think your partner will react. You could wake up one day without him and wish that you had been honest. |
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Category: Infidelity
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Thursday, 09 February 2006 |
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I have been having a relationship with a man that I've known for years. He is technically married, but has been separated from his wife for over 10 years. They are now finalizing the divorce. We have know each other during other relationships (each of us) and we still keep the friendship going. He is currently seeing a woman from his work (about a year) that he was fixed with by his director. He still sees me as well. He claims he doesn't have sex with her because he's not attracted to her. I don't really believe that, but he claims that because he is older and has a medical condition, he uses that as an excuse not to have sex with her. He is perfectly capable of having sex, as I know by experience. She doesn't have a clue about my existance but I know all about her. With this arrangement I have a regular sex partner, yet have my freedom to life my life without complication, which suits me just fine. I feel guilty, at times, about this other woman who has no clue, but figure it is his responsiblity to enlighten her. Ok, well that is what was on my mind... |
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Category: Relationship Issues
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Monday, 06 February 2006 |
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I don't know how to keep a secret or my mouth shut. I tell everything I think and feel to almost anyone. I do not feel I get the same in return. I feel lately I should learn to listen more, observe more and share less of myself. Lying is a waste of my precious time... almost like there are liars and honest people. I have a great desire to do the most effective, productive thing and try to be understood so I can grow.... not kill/decay... a medifore. I trust myself to give 100% effort, but i think everyone else is out for themselves when, if we just freakin worked together.... I'm confused. I love myself to death yet feel very insecure. I feel deserving, but not confident in karma..... I really hope I will get what I give, and others will get what they have given. Why can't I trust anyone? I don't even want to care ... I don't want to be jealous even if people are decieving me. I want to understand as much as be understood. I don't want or need jealousy..... I think..... what could it be possibly good for? How do I make the jealousy go away? I want to plan my life, not worry about some-one else's. It's wasting my precious time! |
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Category: Made a Mistake
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Saturday, 04 February 2006 |
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I had protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral sex with a man that was HIV positive. He didn't tell me until we had had sex several times. I cared very much for him, so we talked and tried to stay together, but subconsciously I was always worried about exposure and contracting it through oral sex and kissing. My tests so far have been negative. I eventually told him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and he stopped calling me. Since then, I have kept it a secret and have never told the men that I dated. Even though I have men use a condom every time, I feel as if I am lying to them. Thanks for this opportunity to clear my mind about it. |
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Category: Forbidden Love
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Sunday, 22 January 2006 |
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I day dream about an old college boyfriend and I really want to have an one night stand with him in a romatic place. He knows I still love him, but we respect each other's spouse. He has never told me that he loves me but I can feel it and I have crazy dreams about him and I always endeing up seeing him in the oddiest places. I never say anything I just act like I do not see him. |
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