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Category: Forbidden Love
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Tuesday, 20 June 2006 |
I fell in love with another and was in the process of evaluating what I was going to do when he died.
I have had to keep the pain hidden from everyone close to me - my partner, my family, almost all of my friends.
It seems as though I am building up lies upon lies upon lies as I do things to help me heal. |
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Category: Abuse
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Friday, 16 June 2006 |
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I was raped my sophomore year of college and I realize that now its even more difficult to keep relationships. I tend to seek love where I know does not exist such as in a disloyal friend or in guys that are just mean. Its a long story but my perpetrators are loose and I never did see justice and now I live with this nightmare everyday... I was interoggated by the police and they were just cruel and unsympathetic. Now I am just scared all the time and if I feel I may be in trouble for something I cave in... for some reason I think deep down I still blame myself for this, even though I really had no control. I got a bill from the ER and thank god I reached the mail before my parents did... Only a couple people know and I try to deny to myself that it ever happened... It's heinous but I find myself smoking a lot and out of control at parties that have alcohol because I had so many problems half a decade before. Now 5 years later... my problems are a lot worse I don't remember a lot of the details and trying to forget but remember more of the pain and anger. If I see a white van I palpitate.... and if I see handcuffs or scarfs I tend to want to vomit. I associate police as stoic people and once I was accused of money I did not take but threatened so badly... the circumstancial evidence was significant and to avoid the police and more anger, I just gave in. Now I feel like crap and I never really sought professional counselling for fear someone I know may find out. I feel deep rejection and realize I crave attention a lot. I have attempted suicide about a year ago when this happened with the extortion, but didn't know that benzodiazepines you can't OD on... so I slept through my biochem lab and I missed it... The class I was failing anyway and then just dropped... the accusations of me acutally stealing from someone really hurt although I don't know if it was intentionally made up or true. I am really harsh on myself and just lost what I thought was a friend. But, then I realized that gay men aren't women and they can't understand... I guess its a twisted world we live in and just gotta deal with it... even though I thought we were friends, my head is kinda messed up and my family or friends back home aren't here to support me. Anybody that reads this... pls just pray for me and realize its really hard for me to share this but I need to focus better. Thanks. Beautiful Disaster |
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Category: Infidelity
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Friday, 09 June 2006 |
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I can't stop cheating on my husband. He loves me and I know that he needs me. I love the attention I get from other men and currently am sleeping with 3 other men besides my husband. I know it sounds sooo slutty but I can't stop and wonder if I have some sort of sexual addiction. My husband and I have a great sex life ... he has gained some weight and it turns me off. |
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Think Boyfriend had Rebound Sex |
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Category: Snooping and Spying
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Friday, 02 June 2006 |
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My fiancee and I split up for two months after being together for a couple years. I moved out and it was agreed that we could see other people. He had started seeing this girl he worked with and it seemed like a rebound. We worked things out and are planning our wedding. He had repeated said nothing happened between them, and that they were just friends and I said fine. If anything did happen that was fine too, but I needed to know before I sleep with him again (I did not date nor sleep with anyone while we were apart). Later, I found some copies of email he had written to this girl and she had written to him and it clearly states that there was something and that something did happen between them. I have repeated showed the information I found and he continues to say it was nothing. I am not sure I believe him. |
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Category: Infidelity
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Sunday, 28 May 2006 |
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I slept with a colleague of mine. I was really in love with him, but keep telling myself that I should not do it because I am a married woman. He gave me all kinds of stories that he and his wife were having problems – just like I was with my husband. But, then out of the blue he told me that I’m not good enough for him. He cheated on me knowing I was in love with him because he could. He had no real interest in me. He is such a flirt and I am so stupid to think that he ever liked me. I had to leave my job so that I wouldn’t think about him anymore, but now that is all that I can think about. Please help me. |
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