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Encounter with my brother's wife |
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Category: Made a Mistake
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Thursday, 31 July 2008 |
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When I was 15 my older brother's wife had sex with me. I was just young and wanted the urge to go away. This was over 25 years ago. I know I should have not done it, but I did. I still feel awkward around him. I wish I had never done it! |
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I secretly want to destroy my boyfriend |
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Category: Relationship Issues
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Friday, 25 July 2008 |
Here is my secret. I think I'm a little crazy when it comes to my boyfriend. See, I know I've got issues, BIG trust issues (I caught my dad cheating on my mom for the third time in their relationship, and when I told her about it, she refused to believe me. She said "I'm not about to believe anything until I see it myself." I tried to tell her that he hit us, too. He pushed me down the stairs and dragged my sister around by her hair... but she conveniently "forgot" about all those times. Wow, what a mindjob!!!)
So I developed this weirdness where the more I love a guy, the more I want him to mess up so I can kick him to the curb. And it's almost as if I WANT him to cheat or do something stupid so I can enjoy punishing him for it.
I am COMPLETELY in love with a terrific guy right now, and it's so weird and confusing. It's like I have two personalities: one personality wants desperately to be happy and love him freely. The other relishes in the thought of him messing up somehow so I can have a reason to COMPLETELY DESTROY him.
I'm very mixed up. I think I want to hurt SOMEONE because deep down I want my father to pay for all the pain he's caused us. And this poor fool who's decided to fall in love with me is my nearest target.
I used to stick needles in my fingers as a kid. I stopped doing that a long time ago, but the impulse is creeping back up on me every time I think about my situation. I'm trying hard to be okay, but it's getting tougher the closer my BF and I get to each other. |
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No longer feel loved by my husband |
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Category: Infidelity
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Thursday, 17 July 2008 |
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I have been married for almost five years now. I am cheating on my husband with the man that played music at our reception. I love my husband, but he's not the man I fell in love with. He has changed dramatically, and this man is filling the places that my husband's not. He shows so much attention towards me. He holds me, kisses me, and just makes me feel "loved." My husband doesn't do that anymore. I do believe that I've fallen in love with my lover, but I have children with my husband. Right now, I believe my children and my finances are the only reasons why I'm still here. |
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I have cheated a lot, partly due to revenge |
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Category: Infidelity
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Wednesday, 09 July 2008 |
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I have been married for 6 years now, and I've cheated on my wife with 11 different women. I cheated on her 2 months after we got married. The first time I ever cheated it made me sick to my stomach. I thought that it was what I wanted but it wasn't. After a while I found myself bored with our sex life. Sometimes I can make it good but she has so many insecurities that sex is more like an obstacle to overcome than something to enjoy with someone you love. Anyway, I found out last year that she has also cheated on me. This devastated me. All I can do now is picture her with someone else having sex, this fuels me to go on a cheating rampage. I now have sex with other women to make me feel better about what she has done. This is like therapy to me, when I start to think about what she has done, I just re-focus my thoughts on all the women I have slept with since I said "I do." |
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I prefer my husband's affair to his alcohol/drug relapse |
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Category: Relationship Issues
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Wednesday, 02 July 2008 |
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My secret is that although I am devastated by husband's affair, I am proud of him that he chose another woman rather than a drink or drug. Thank God. My other secret is that I am mortified to realize how I inadvertently became cold and indifferent toward him after weathering years of his semi-annual kamikaze binges. I just felt shell-shocked, despite his repeated attempts at recovery. He is a good man, despite his problems. My final secret is no secret. I still very much love the man, I miss him, and I hope one day, maybe years from now, I get to be his girlfriend rather than his wife! |
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