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Full of doubt after reading my husband's e-mail |
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Monday, 24 November 2008 |
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My husband and I have been married almost 4 years. About 6 months ago, I saw via the internet history on our home computer that he had been visiting a dating website. I asked him about it and he said it was just out of curiosity. Still, I wanted to know more. I made a lucky guess as to his e-mail passwords (he has 2 different accounts) and discovered a months-long correspondence with a young woman. Nothing "intimate" but worse (in my view) some kind romantic, "mushy" "soul-mate" type of things. That has stopped at this point. But I also discovered that, before we married, he had had an intense relationship with someone who now lives far away (another country, and that they have maintained contact since we got married. He apparently didn't even tell her that he had gotten married until 2 years after the fact. She even asked him to have a child with her. He still emails her and tells her how much he loves her and that he will always love her, and he tells her that his life is miserable and he is living "in agony." And yet, he has always been sweet and attentive and loving with me, telling me how much he loves me. So now I find myself doubting and wondering what is true.
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