Truth About Deception

My snooping is horrible it started with me because I found him with a mobile I didn't recognize.  I went on the net and it gave me the advice to look for evidence then confront him.  I wish I never had.  It has just been horrible sneaking up during the night shaking with fear when you open the mobile and see a text wondering if he's working where and when he says he is.  I feel unable to love him now because I've come to despise myself and the person I've become.  Always suspicious even if the house phone rings thinking that's her.  That's her trying to get to me.  I'm practically paranoid thinking I'm being constantly deceived and now I'm cutting off friends because I don't want them to know my suspicions.  It has  got to stop now.