Truth About Deception

I was in love with a married man... whom I grew up with as kids... we saw each other on and off for about four years til recently I got involved with someone locally. I hate myself for having what I've done now that I've found happiness... Before, I was irresponsible and vulnerable... All my past relationships were bad and I longed for love... So I had an affair with an old friend, who was in a bad marriage.  We were both looking for love in the wrong places. Til this day, I don't understand why I did what I knew was wrong... I am not a bad person but this eats away at me... I want to be able to express myself and forgive myself so I can move.

I want to change...

Recently I kissed a girl whilst in the same house as my girlfriend of one year. My girlfriend knocked on the door during the incident but I was already stopping what I was doing, realizing it was wrong.

She was furious (with good reason). I took her away from the room and explained to her that the girl kissed me then I rubbed my face and that was why her lip stick was spread over my face. This was a complete lie.

I kept the truth from her for two months before writing a letter that detailed what I had done, my intentions at the time and that I was sorry. During these two months we went to couples counseling where I continued to lie about what happened among other things.

Since I told her she is living separately from me. She hates that I lied to her and hates that I cheated on her. I hate it more. I woke up a morning after and said to myself, 'what the f**k you need to change.'

Since then I have been going to counseling and telling the truth. I've read pages and pages on lying and cheating.

I am repairing my relationship, stopping the lies and becoming a person I can look in the eye and know who I am. I lied to my friends, my family and the person who I cared for the most. It's not a secret anymore, but I wanted to share.

I have a secret I can never tell, because to do so would put someone I love's life in danger. There's so much I want to know, about the thing I can't tell... Why? When? What were the circumstances, that led to such a conclusion? But I can't ask. And I can't tell. I can push it to the back of my mind, but I wonder if the far-reaching repercussions will catch up with us some day. The giving of the secret was the ultimate act of trust, from someone incapable of it... How do I keep a secret worth more than my life?

I got herpes from my ex-gf. I transferred it to my new girlfriend and didn't tell her I had it.

I fell in love with my ex husband in high school. I thought he was my soul mate. We were together for 10 years. Over that time I cheated on him numerous times. I had no idea how badly I hurt him by doing so. I finally left him, thinking I could do better and be happier. I moved on and found someone new. I thought he was Mr. Right. I now find out he is a compulsive liar. He lies about money, sex, work, whatever, it doesnt matter. I think I love him but I wonder sometimes if I rushed into it to quickly thinking he was Mr. Perfect. I now find myself thinking of my ex frequently. Wanting the great connection that we have always had and still do. I promised myself that I would never cheat ever again because I saw how badly it hurt my ex and now I see how badly it has hurt me. I honestly think my ex would take me back in a heartbeat. As far as I know he has still yet to be with another woman, ever, other than me and we have be apart and divorced for over 2 years. I guess I need to decide if I realy do love my ex more than I ever realized and take the good with the bad or try to help my husband now get over his lying and try to start over...