Truth About Deception

To the last woman, go to the message board, we will help you out.  I was in your same boat, from the calls to her telling me she had a child with him... hang in there. 

My secret is, I'm going to have a happy life, just to spite her!

One year and a half ago I found out my husband cheated. I found out because the woman called me at my job to tell me and to tell me she was pregnant. She advised me she didn't want him, but he was being "cocky" stating he would never get caught since we both lived in different states. I later found out the pregnancy was a lie, he did confess to having sex with her only one time. Should I believe him or her? They both lied. But, my concern is she described so many things to me that there is no way she would have known unless she slept with him and was with him more than one time. The cell phone bills show almost four months worth of phone calls (he worked at the same place I did). I found out by the billing manager that his work cell phone bills were huge... 15 years married I was happier than ever and so blind sighted. We are still together because my two kids could not take the separation. I am so miserable, but he is trying to be a good husband. I just feel as though he is still lying. For some reason I want to know everything and if they were together only one time how is it that she new all this stuff? Same answer from him, "I don't know" or come on you know every man does that. SO, I don't know what to do.  I feel if I never find out than I will never rest in peace.  What should I do and how? I need help because I no longer can work.  I have no self-esteem. I'm scared my life ends here. 

I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, we have been together for over 2 years and I have never been treated so well by a man. He is funny, caring and gentle and understands me completely. We have an amazing sex life and I can't imagine being with anyone else. Around Easter time this year, I went on a girls holiday and one very drunken night I kissed a guy I met there and gave him oral sex. The next morning I could only vaguely remember it, but knew that it had happened and I felt physically sick. I haven't spoken to the other guy since. I have no idea why I did it, I was so drunk I didn't really know what I was doing. My boyfriend has told me before that if I ever cheated on him he could never forgive me and we would be over.  For this reason, there is no way I can ever tell him.  I am so desperate not to lose him and I don't want to hurt him. I have never cheated before and just cant believe I have let it happen, when I am in love with the man of my dreams. The guilt is horrible. I feel like a fraud every time I tell him I love him.

I had a drunken one night stand on a girls night out even though I have a boyfriend. I have never cheated on a boyfriend before this one though... but I'm not 100% happy even though I want it to work? - I just don't want to be alone. We have a long distance relationship (and a 10 year age gap) and have only recently got back together after I broke up with him to pursue someone else, only to go back to said boyfriend. We have argued a lot already and he already sees my previous 'straying' as cheating so I already have that to make up for.. I think I was subconsciously looking for attention from another man, to feel desirable and wanted. Also, our sex life isn't always great (for me)... (yes I am making excuses to justify my actions). He loves me more than I love him.  I'm choosing to not tell him because only bad will come from it. The guilt is hideous.

I have in the past had a sex-buddy who was more exploratory than my wife. The sex was so good that me and my wife could go for weeks without sex. But after some months I realized that the woman had her agenda and it was no longer just about sex, I bailed out. I had to re-orientate my way into my wife's sex life and in the process I had to compare her sex with the girlfriend's. It was not enjoyable anymore.

I have a problem, and I know the only way to get over it is to admit it to myself. I hate it. I have cheated on every boyfriend I have had, only one time per boyfriend, but that is more then enough for it to be a problem. I know now the guys before weren't guys I was going to end up with forever, but I am now dating this guy who is so much better,so amazing, treats me so well, the best I have ever had. I had a stupid horrible drunk sex episode with a friend that was only for him to get off and I got nothing out of it, except the guilt of " why can't I control this? -can I ever be faithful" I guess the best thing that I am getting out of it is the fact that I have finally admitted it to myself. I have always admitted my faults for other things to the people I have faulted, and I feel so much better, so I have to start here and admit to myself. I have read all over this site, and have a lot of ideas of how to cope with this. I want to be a great wife, have a great family and kids one day, and feeling like this wont let that happen. I know we are all not perfect, but this I want to be perfect for me. I do not want to cheat, whether this has only been a couple month relationship so far and we still really only call each other friends, I have cheated. I like this man more than anything, I was weak and stupid for getting myself in the situation, I knew it would happen, and always alcohol has put me there. I am too nice, and let myself get taken advantage of way too easily. I don't want to be mean, but I must be realistic. I must listen to myself more often. I promise me, from this day out... I will not cheat. I must follow through with my goals, be who I want to be, be true to me. I am sorry to myself for not being honest with myself, you are silly me, why cant you just take care of yourself the way you say you want to??? Hmmmm? Well here is my time to start. I can do this, I am STRONG,and SMART, I will overcome this. I will. GIVE ME STRENGTH. I love you me.

I recently had an emotional affair with a coworker. I should have known better as I am married.

I have been in a relationship with two men for almost 6 years. I love one for security, I live with him. I love the other one for everything else. To make matters worst the man I live with is wonderful. He cleans, cooks, provides... I know how wrong I am, but can't let go of the other.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I still had feelings for my ex boyfriend and I ended up cheating on my boyfriend. It has been a while since I've had any contact with my ex because I've felt so guilty about it. I can't believe I did that to him and I wish to god I could take it back, but I can't.  And it really kills me inside, but if I told him what I did he would never talk to me again.