Truth About Deception

Not only did I discover my husband had been lying to me within hours of our marriage, he was engaged in BDSM behaviors inviting women into our home. He has to be the dominant person. I traveled for my profession, and he managed to have multiple affairs for the past ten years. I feel as if I am the most stupid person in the world.

I feel frozen and don't know what to do. Since I can't seem to move, I am frozen.

To the last woman, go to the message board, we will help you out.  I was in your same boat, from the calls to her telling me she had a child with him... hang in there. 

My secret is, I'm going to have a happy life, just to spite her!

One year and a half ago I found out my husband cheated. I found out because the woman called me at my job to tell me and to tell me she was pregnant. She advised me she didn't want him, but he was being "cocky" stating he would never get caught since we both lived in different states. I later found out the pregnancy was a lie, he did confess to having sex with her only one time. Should I believe him or her? They both lied. But, my concern is she described so many things to me that there is no way she would have known unless she slept with him and was with him more than one time. The cell phone bills show almost four months worth of phone calls (he worked at the same place I did). I found out by the billing manager that his work cell phone bills were huge... 15 years married I was happier than ever and so blind sighted. We are still together because my two kids could not take the separation. I am so miserable, but he is trying to be a good husband. I just feel as though he is still lying. For some reason I want to know everything and if they were together only one time how is it that she new all this stuff? Same answer from him, "I don't know" or come on you know every man does that. SO, I don't know what to do.  I feel if I never find out than I will never rest in peace.  What should I do and how? I need help because I no longer can work.  I have no self-esteem. I'm scared my life ends here. 

I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, we have been together for over 2 years and I have never been treated so well by a man. He is funny, caring and gentle and understands me completely. We have an amazing sex life and I can't imagine being with anyone else. Around Easter time this year, I went on a girls holiday and one very drunken night I kissed a guy I met there and gave him oral sex. The next morning I could only vaguely remember it, but knew that it had happened and I felt physically sick. I haven't spoken to the other guy since. I have no idea why I did it, I was so drunk I didn't really know what I was doing. My boyfriend has told me before that if I ever cheated on him he could never forgive me and we would be over.  For this reason, there is no way I can ever tell him.  I am so desperate not to lose him and I don't want to hurt him. I have never cheated before and just cant believe I have let it happen, when I am in love with the man of my dreams. The guilt is horrible. I feel like a fraud every time I tell him I love him.