Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
When most people get caught cheating, they make promises and vows to never cheat again. Unfortunately, such promises often ring hollow. The desire to cheat is complicated and it is not solved by feeling sorry or by making promises to change (see, decision to cheat).
If you want to change any behavior, you must first determine why that behavior occurred. So, when it comes to infidelity and cheating - what factors led the person to cheat (see, likely to cheat)?
Was it too much opportunity, was it due to problems in their relationships, was it due to a need for excitement?
After you discover why the cheating occurred, you need to focus on the factors that caused it and make changes so that it does not happen again. So, if your partner cheats because he or she has too much opportunity – say he or she goes out all the time without you, then that needs to change.
Or if the cheating occurred because of a relationship problem, then go to counseling and work on strengthening your relationship (see, healthy relationships)
On the other hand, many of the factors that influence cheating, may have a genetic component - level of attractiveness, risk taking, sexual desire - making change more difficult (see, prevent infidelity and sexual addictions).
These genetic factors may help explain why some people never stop cheating (see, cheating spouse survey).
If you don’t (or can't) change the underlying reasons why the cheating happened in the first place, it will most likely happen again. Typically, the best indicator of our future behavior is our past behavior (also see, husband constantly cheats).
Once a cheater, always a cheater? It really depends on why the cheating occurred in the first place. Some types of cheating are much easier to resolve than others ("too much opportunity" versus "need for excitement").
Change is possible, but very difficult. It requires a lot of insight, work and effort. And without some type of counseling and a strong commitment to change, people often revert back to the old ways (also see, recovering from infidelity).
Related Information - infidelity and cheating - articles, links and resources
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