Comments for Girlfriend Text Message at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 5 out of 5 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:53:16 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/snooping/girlfriend_text_message.html#comment-320 Hi there, I am really concerned for you. Not because that ass of a guy is manipulating you and in need of a restraining order but for your complete lack of self confidence and self belief. With or without him you can still live, you can still cope and I am sure you have much more talents and abilities than you even know. Think about you, focus on your own goals and dreams. You are only encouraging this type of relationship. Don't you think you are worth more than lowering yourself to almost begging someone you don't trust to stay with you. You are a person wiling to give everything you have for someone and you sound like you are very loving. Concentrate on yourself and your happiness because this is an unhealthy road you are on and you DO deserve better. Detach from him emotionally, do not answer any calls, do not in any way encourage his threats. If it continues and you really think he could be a bit of a psycho..you should really contact the police and you should definitely speak with someone you can confide in about this, you are not alone his behavior is not ok and you DO not deserve this and you do deserve better. - notsaying Sat, 02 Dec 2006 19:45:03 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/snooping/girlfriend_text_message.html#comment-310 Firstly, I don't think you were wrong in snooping if the other person was lying or behaving suspiciously and refused to reduce your suspicions. I'm dealing with a current situation and I don't know what to do. This past June, my partner got a real good job and was very busy. I was pleased because we were coming up to three years living together and he had originally moved in because he was unable to keep his home. I soon found out he was spending more and more time out in the evenings, sometimes coming home as late as 4am. I didn't get alarmed about this because I knew he and his buddies would sit up all night as I had witnessed this many times. However, he suddenly stopped having sex. Stopped dead. No explanation and suddenly wanted space, lots of it. Couple of weeks later he claimed his parents had flown abroad and he had to watch the house for them because his sister had just watched a baby and couldn't. Odd thing, his parents home, which I have never seen because I have never met them, was full of all the techy gadgets to prevent burglary. He started going over on weekends and coming home during the week and now he is here two times a week and never on weekends. Every time he comes home I say hello and am immediately told to shut up, that I talk too much and he goes on with hours of criticism or name calling, even though I haven't seen him for days. He calls me and does the same now. He has restricted my calls, emails and texts to emergencies only. He has abandoned his animals, the kids (not his), and me. I have spoken to him about this and then discovered through a series of snooping incidents and his own stupidity at leaving evidence lying around that he was cheating. I have found long brown hairs, seen an email where he was asking the woman for sex, and now have found proof that he is not traveling abroad alone for Christmas, which he normally spends with me, but with the woman I suspected he was having an affair with. He has told his boss, where he is the manager, and got me what he said was a better paying job, that I was just a friend and that he was going out with the other girl because he said his parents think he lives in a condo downtown when in fact he lives with me and my kids. He speaks to this woman behind closed doors on his cell and I occasionally over hear the conversation. When confronted he has said different things at different times (days later) that she is his sister (I spoke to his best friend and he does not have a sister by that name), a client (not sure), and just a friend. She comes to drop him off and pick him up sometimes,but neither of us are allowed to meet. Last night we both had a full blown fight and screamed at each other. I asked him why he finds it hard to just be considerate and tell me about this woman or let me meet her to ease my suspicions. Any mention of this and he says I am paranoid, crazy and psycho and he is feeling smothered and caged. I avoid the topic and try to be cordial, but he loves to fight and tries to engage me and then blames me. I have not told him about the plane details for Christmas because I am having a terrible time deciding what to do. If I tell him what I know then I am breaching his trust, and he will hide more, but if I keep it secret from him, I am dying inside from the pain, hurt and betrayal. I love this guy so very much and I committed in my heart, would die for him, but he has betrayed me and I don't want to lose him, yet I feel I already have. I am scared because the anger inside of me is building and I am scared I may do something stupid, not to me. I cannot understand why he insists on staying when he can afford to leave. He is harassing me at work through the company emails and I feel so nervous that doing my work, even remotely from home is making me feel physically ill. I feel like selling everything and going into hiding. I am so confused. I am scared about losing my job so I have forwarded all his emails to another account of mine, just in case. He has already threatened my job before I started it, and now swears and puts me down in the emails he sends. I don't have anyone else to turn to. I am so distressed, lonely, scared and in a panic that I cannot eat, sleep or do anything. I would give anything to make this end, but if he won't leave and he keeps being verbally abusive and threatening my job, what do I do? Please help me. - Andrea Tue, 28 Nov 2006 23:16:44 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/snooping/girlfriend_text_message.html#comment-287 As an update, She ended up cheating on me with the person I suspected online. We have broken up and I am now paying for my snooping... A hard learned lesson. :( - Lealand Tue, 14 Nov 2006 00:48:51 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/snooping/girlfriend_text_message.html#comment-264 I feel the same way about my gf. she has these text messages to her guy friends that kinda make me feel like crap, but I don’t want to make her made so I just pretend to have not seen it, but when I’m with her, she’s just not happy with me anymore, and it feels like she’s distant from me even though we’ve been going for two years and she thinks everything is going okay... I’m just a little depressed. - candrewsff Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:01:32 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/snooping/girlfriend_text_message.html#comment-256 I do know where the fears come from... my last serious relationship ended with my gf lying to me about seeing someone else, a friend of mine, even though there were plenty of signs - him calling only when I wasn't there, going out with him and staying out much later than she said she would be. So I'm just kinda nervous this may be heading down the same path. I'm doing my best to not be paranoid and not smother her... give her some space... I think that may be a start, but I'm not sure where to go with it... I don't know how to prove to her that I'm not snooping and I do trust her. - Lealand Thu, 02 Nov 2006 00:12:44 +0100