Comments for CopingHusbandCheat at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 40 out of 20 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:39:45 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1677 I'm not understanding how people can say give the marriage a second chance when vows was made before God and family to love one another has been broken. Yet husbands more than wives find it easy to step outside the trust and cause major damage and will never tell you the truth, make you think that you are CRAZY!, make it unbearable to live with them, don't like to be question about their actions, treat the wife like an well need extreme makeover, and yet this is the person he shared marriage vows with always to love cherish, respect, not take for granted, life long best friend, and yet we are always the last to know and the first to feel like failure with the man when we get the truth about some other woman they found time to spend with. I am a 14 year married woman who found out that my husband cheated on me with a co-worker. I had the gut feeling,the sickness only because we WAS very close to each other, the physical evidence, talking in his sleep, the dreams, and the phone conversation where he thought I was her. He denies it to this day, I know better and want out. Now he watches every thing I do, he monitors my time. I cannot stand this person any more and I'm planning on getting out now alone with my child that we have together. Two weeks ago, a woman came to my house at 8:00am knocking on the door softly when have a door bell, he goes to the door and it gets very quiet, when I get to the door they are outside and he tells me she is just dropping off pictures for him to frame, at 8am in the morning, am I stuck on stupid or what. After reading all of the stories, I know that I'm on the right track by preparing to leave this piece of work I'm married to for now. Thank you for sharing your stories and helping others in similar situations. - look in the miror Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:21:45 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1668 Hi, A few months ago, my husband left me and the kids to go to work. He called me the next day to say he's never coming back and that he will file for divorce. His reason was that he has been miserable for the last few years. I didn't see it coming. I blamed myself for everything. It was hard not to leave him VM messages or send emails without being angry and confrontational. I went to see a lawyer and she told me that men don't leave their wife and kids unless another woman is involved. I was against getting a divorce and wanted to find some way of getting through this. When he did come back I was extremely nice to him...we were intimate and everything seemed to be ok until I read his text messages. They were not really sexual but more emotional. The only thing I managed to find out was that he had stayed over at her place a few times. He denied that they ever had intercourse. There isn't anything really intimate in their messages to suggest that they did...this woman is also a few years older than us and a real piece of work...boy, does she know how to manipulate him! She showed him what he was missing in our life...the freedom to go out and have a good time...that's right, it was all about having fun...which is hard to do when you are a mother of two very young children and a third baby on the way. Needless to say, she was my "replacement" except that it went too far. I did a bad thing and confronted him... from then on he just became more tight-lipped and careful. I did my own research and found that this other woman was someone at his work. Even though he was "back" with me, I felt that he would often be in terrible moods around me. It became unbearable to live like that...not trusting him, having him torn between two women...I took the kids and left, more for the children's sake. I can honestly say that if you have small kids, and no emotional support, it is best to take yourself and your children and leave, if you can. Men who are influenced by the other woman are not in the right frame of mind. They are seeing things through her eyes. It was like my husband and I were pawns in this woman's game of chess. It was a really bad time in our lives. We are now trying to move away from that city and I never went back there except for brief visits. He was honestly crazy when the affair was going on. In a marriage, anybody is bound to find someone they connect with more than an existing spouse, but their is a bigger picture. The reality of divorce is that the wife suffers emotionally, and possibly financially as well. In addition, the children no longer have a mommy and daddy that are together....that security is gone. Is the future really bright after a divorce? Perhaps in Hollywood it is, but for everyday people, making ends meet, raising children, and doing it alone is the reality. You have to be the judge of your marriage. You know your husband better than anybody. Trust your gut. If you think you can handle making the marriage work and he has agreed to counseling, give it a try...what do you have to lose? If he is truly a monster, out with him. And ladies, don't forget why he married you in the first place... because he loved YOU. If he wants a second chance, why not give it? Marriage is a sacred trust, and yes, trust is broken...protect yourself by saving your evidence and try to get the marriage back on track. - tryingtohelp Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:17:27 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1631 I have ended an affair with a married man who is also a long time friend. We were involved prior to his marriage. His wife is aware of the situation. I even confirmed/exposed the affair and assured her I have moved on and have no desire to be with her husband. He has indicated that he still wants me to be his friend since he has known me much longer than he has known his wife. I am concerned because she continues to send me insulting emails (even though it was her husband who betrayed her) also, I am not sure about maintaining a friendship. How is he OK with this knowing that his wife strongly dislikes me? - liam Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:07:46 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1490 I just found out too that my husband has cheated on me. Mostly an emotional affair, which to me is worse than only a physical affair. Worse yet, it was with a woman who goes to our church and whose family we spend time with. I had my suspicions (always trust your intuition!!) and ended up putting something on my computer so I could get his passwords and read whatever he types (PCPandora, it's worth the money!). I still didn't believe it until he made arrangements to go to this woman's house while her husband was out of town at work. They needed to "talk about what happened". He fiddled around and then left for a test drive (he works on cars). I followed him a few minutes later, still thinking I wouldn't find him parked out front of this woman's place, but there he was. I parked and knocked on the door. Her face was almost comical if I weren't so pissed off when she opened the door and saw me standing there. First thing out of her mouth was, "we were just talking." Still they both denied that anything was going on, even saying that he just dropped by and the visit wasn't planned. I told them both they were lying to me because I knew that they emailed each other. I sent him home and had a few choice words with this other woman. Then I can home to confront my husband. He denied a lot, but I still had that feeling that he wasn't telling me all. The intonation of her email was there was a specific occurrence that they needed to talk about. (I will grant her that she wanted to talk about breaking off contact because she doesn't want it to go any further and wants to work on her marriage without any bad influence from my husband's flirting. Too little, too late. Damage done.) After some more denying that anything specific happened, and me having such a strong feeling I was being lied to that I was physically sick to my stomach for an hour, he finally admitted that he had walked up behind her, cupped her breasts, told her she has "nice tits" and kissed the back of her neck. He says he can't remember what was said or done after that but claims that was all that happened. I still don't think I am getting the full truth from him, and he "swears to God" that he has told me all of it. But I can't believe any of it. I have even been looking up how to get a polygraph test done because I have below zero trust in him right now. I am also torn by the thought of knowing this has happened and not saying anything to her husband. I think he should know, but I strongly believe it should come from her and not me. They have two children together, and we have three (my eldest even babysits their daughters and they worship the ground she walks on). Worse yet, I had found flirty emails from another one of our church friends. She signed them "I love you" and "I miss you". I confronted him and her about both, and my hubby admitted it was getting too out of hand and they will stop. She claimed she sees my hubby as her "girlfriend" and that is how she signs off on all her emails. Her hubby is alreay suspicious of the two of them flirting and freaks out on her constantly. These two women are friends, they both knew all this stuff and were swearing up and down to my husband they wouldn't tell me because it would devastate me and they don't want to ruin his marriage. I have contacted a therapist and have scheduled an appointment, but in the meantime, I can't even look at my husband and my kids keep asking why I am crying. I guess to make the long story short (which I haven't done here), if you have a gut feeling, go with it. As women especially, we have an intuition that can't be denied unless we deny it. Thanks for listening to me rant (at least until my therapist appointment). Good luck to all of you in either rebuilding your trust/relationships or to moving on to a better one. - just found out too Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:59:22 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1470 I found out in February that my husband of 5 1/2 years had been cheating on me for about 4-5 months. Yes we've been having some problems and haven't been having as much sex compared to when we first got married, but for almost 2 years now we have been dealing with a son that has been depressed and suicidal. He has been in and out of mental hospitals. No my mind isn't only on sex... I wish he would've thought with the proper part of his body. He told me and the other girl (whom I thought of as a friend) for 4-5 months they had been sleeping together, not only were we dealing with our son but we were building a house, both working full time plus I was going to school full time... I am so angry. I love him so much that I hate myself for it. Now they say that they are just friends, I really hate the idea but... we will be married for 6 years in Nov. I do understand what every one here is going thru. Just hope we can all get thru it with a straight head. - dottiebug Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:57:44 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1464 I read all these posts made. I just recently went thru this with my fiance. We had just gotten engaged a week before he started seeing someone else. It was a friend of his sisters that I had met a couple yrs ago. My mom actually kept telling me he was cheating cuz of the way he was treating me. He didn't even tell her that we were engaged or even together OR that I'm prego. He stayed at her place almost every night and was taking her around our son and smoking pot around him on top of it! He would get mad every time I asked him if he was seeing someone or if I was competing for his affection. Now I'm not saying I'm completely blameless, we've had problems the past 2 yrs. Mostly I was fed up with raising 3 kids and him not helping and started getting angry at him. We hardly ever had relations and this was one reason why he went to someone else. He finally decided after I called her and told her I just wanted the truth that he wanted to be with me. She won't talk to him anymore. I find it hard to believe that after cheating on me and telling both of us that he loved us and everything that he really does. We've been planning on getting married this year but I don't know if we will or not. We're seeing a counselor and I get out of it that we both need to step in the others shoes to completely understand the whole situation. He's not remorseful at all hasn't even asked forgiveness nothing. I do agree with that post of if both of you love each other so much then it could work out. Time heals all wounds right? I know not everyone believes in soulmates but I do and I know he's mine. But what I believe also is that just cuz you're soulmates doesn't mean you're supposed to be together. My advice to anyone is to try to step in the others shoes. Ask yourself what led up to this? Were there already problems in this relationship? But yes they shouldn't have done it. He had always told me he would dump me before he cheated but he didn't. Another bit of advice is if you're a christian so totally seek God in this. He has helped me through a lot of this. I don't know what I would do without Him. - confused, hurt and yes angry Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:49:23 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1433 My husband and I have been married for 10 years and together for over 11. On Christmas day 2006 I received a crank call with a message that said "You are so stupid", I had a feeling that my husband was cheating and often argued with him about it before that day. He had a lavish 35th birthday party for me just a month earlier and I gave him an ultimatum on December 17th, he stayed close to home and rarely went out after the 17th and I guess that fueled his mistress' fire. I told him about the message and when she called back I answered and he looked like death over took him. To make a long story short I was absolutely devastated and he supposedly was sorry (seemingly so) and stopped. However in June of the next year after a trip to Bermuda he came home and immediately spent the rest of the evening supposedly with the guys but my gut feeling had returned months before that. In July he told me he wanted to do IVF since I had asked years before due to our trouble having children. In September the IVF cycle was complete and it did not work. Two days later I found a cellphone bill (he gets it delivered to his office) that had fallen out of his car and it showed constant phone calls to a certain number. I called it from work and when she called back I had the receptionist write down the name. It was the person I suspected and he denied ALL ALONG... A CO-WORKER. I lost it to say the least but I stayed and called her telling her to leave him alone. We slowly started to rebuild and he met up with her again in December for a drink where she assaulted him and stole a college ring... so he says. I have found prn on his I-Touch, he keeps his phone locked and has changed the code as of November so I can no longer get into it. I have found emails between him and other females and I know that he has a gmail account that some chick he met during a business trip to New York set up for him. I don't know what to do... he is starting to get home later and later and he ALWAYS has some late meeting during the week. I think his conscious is seared and he no longer cares... he takes care of me well financially and says he loves me and that I am just tripping... but my gut says he is still cheating and has evolved to have multiple women in his life... we just bought a new porn DVD and it is supposedly at his cousins, now WHY would he take porn to his cousins and leave it for weeks? I am married to a very insecure man who just had new veneers put in his mouth and went through the wardrobe upgrade and obsession with hitting the gym and getting a six pack about two 1/2 years ago. He has to drive the biggest expensive cars and flaunts his money around. Even as I type this I know what I need to do... just typing this out shows me how foolish I have been. - 3_years_of_deception Mon, 16 Jun 2008 18:12:00 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1411 My husband of 16 years cheated on me while he was deployed to Afghanistan with a female clerk. The affair lasted just over three weeks and ended when he came home. He insists she meant nothing to him and that the whole idea disgusts him etc. but you know - here I was at home, keeping the home fires burning - the children fed - the bills paid and he's in KAF getting laid by some military woman? Well - my husband has confessed to his boss and he has written a letter to her boss - I don't think she'll be getting that posting to England any time soon. - Mary69 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:50:36 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1403 My loving husband cheated on me five years ago with his cousins wife, they divorced, but i decided to work things out and rebuild the marriage. About 9 months ago, he ran into an old girlfriend, who is married also, and a cop. Texting each other over 400 times a month and calling 2-3 times a day, until her husband put a stop to it. Me, I was just the crazy person accusing him of doing something he wasn't! The terrible stories about me that he told his friends, I have been with him for 25 yrs, 3 kids, all almost grown, and i should be at a stage in my life where i feel secure in my marriage, but instead, He would like me to believe I have issues, that this is all in my head, the constant put downs, I can't do anything right. I forgive to easy, that is my downfall. After years of being put down, it takes time to like yourself again, and to believe in yourself. I'm on that road, with or without him, life is too short for all the mind games, and I'm a good person, Ive done a great job raising my children, myself. I just wish that I realized all of this much earlier, and didn't waste my time with someone who says they love me but has done nothing but hurt me. - had enough! Fri, 30 May 2008 00:49:17 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1397 I just found out 2 days ago that my husband cheated on me with a woman who is his friend. This woman also wanted to me my "best" friend too! They had been together for 1 year. The most humiliating thing is I found out from the husband of this woman! He left me a voice mail. I just couldn't believe it. It would be our 9th year anniversary this Friday and we would going to go for a short trip. It hurts just by repeating the story. Anyway, he said it was over, 2 weeks ago. At first he said he left her because he loves me but then I realized that it was because she got caught! They even did it in our house! I suspected it before and confronted him, but he never admitted. And of course, I trusted him and believed him. I don't think he will admit it if it's not because of the voice mail. It's been 2 days and I still feel hurt. But I still love him and don't want to leave. What should I do? My mind tells me that he will cheat again and he is no good for me anyway, but my hearts says otherwise...... - Newbie Wed, 28 May 2008 20:35:02 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1358 This isn't going to be as bad as what you some guys have been through.. but I need some advice.. My finacee cheated on me when we had been dating for only a few months with someone who was supposedly my friend. They would flirt right in front of my face and he would tell me I was just being a bitch when I told him that I didn't want her at the house anymore. When she got mad and crudely told me what was going on, he admitted it, but acted like he expected me to be over it just a couple weeks later. We broke up and he started crying, begging for me to come back. The 'affair' lasted only two weeks, but the fact that he could have sex with my "friend" while also sleeping with and swearing his love to me, killed me. I often jump to conclusions and our seemingly perfect relationship is gone. Now that we are planning marriage, I'm not sure if I want to go through that. Although he has lied a couple more times about minor things, he has been an angel other than that. For the past couple days, I haven't been able to get a hold of him at work and last night he had to work late. He even brought me home a time card but I can't help thinking that something else is going on. Deep down, I know it's not, but how am I supposed to dispel these feelings and make him understand that I feel like this, without him getting angry for "bringing up the past?" - JMarie Tue, 06 May 2008 20:03:48 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1328 I am dealing with a very similar situation. My husband cheated. Through counseling a whole new world has been revealed to me. I would like to share with all of you that there is no such thing as a serial cheater. It's called Sex Addiction and if you can't live without him you are considered a Co-dependent. Look it up! It is very likely that both of you have underlying issues that you need to work on with a professional therapist who is trained in these areas. By the way, without going through all of the awful details, we have been trying to work on our marriage. It remains to be seen whether or not it will work out. He continues to lie, won't answer questions, and is probably cheating again now. Meanwhile I live in a constant state of worry/obsession (whichever you want to call it). The one thing I have learned about rebuilding is that both parties have to be committed to doing so. And it definitely won't work if the Sex Addict doesn't want to stop his cheating and lying and work on his underlying causes. - Fed-up wife Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:54:20 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1303 My husband and I have have been together 14 years married for 3 and we have 3 cool kids. He is a soldier in the army so as you can imagine life sometimes is difficult. We love each other very much and have had our ups and downs as in any marriage. In 1997 I discovered my husband had a one night stand. Literally! He met the girl one day slept with her the next, left her the next. It took me a while to get over it. Years I must admit but I buried it eventually. For the past 3 years he has been living in Germany. We lived together for 1 and a half of those 3 and it was great. Right now we don't live together though. I found out 2 months ago that he had another one night stand but he slept with her 2x. The girl emailed me using a man's name telling me this. I confronted him over the phone and he admitted it to me. I was devastated. I felt sick to my stomach. I hated him. This time though it is extremely difficult to get over because of the state of vulnerability I am in with us living apart. I truly trusted that he wouldn't do it and it got to the point that the thought of him doing it wouldn't even cross my mind. He still lives in Germany for another week then he comes home. The girl left German (by the way she was a soldier also who got booted out). I still love my husband deeply and we are getting through this. I don't trust him as of yet. I haven't forgiven him either. It is proving really difficult to get over it this time because my head is turning the situation into something it may not have been. I have nightmares and the thoughts just creep into my head at anytime. It's ridiculous. I contemplated divorce but I mean I love the guy and we have a history and I don't believe he's a serial cheater, but I mean I just have to learn to get over this. Any comments please post. - tuti Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:52:52 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1302 I have lived with my boyfriend for 10 years and never thought he would ever cheat on me. Boy was I ever wrong. I came home one day from work like usually. The only differences was the house smelled like sex funk thats the only word I could describe it. My boyfriend seemed like he was high as well. The thing was he didn't know, but I put voice activated tape recorders hidden all around the house. When he walked into the next room I grabbed all the tape recorder and left the house. I told him I had to run to the store. I pulled up into the parking lot and started to listen to the tapes. I trembled for four hours at what I had heard. My ex employee's wife that I had recently fired was have sex in my living room with my old man and smoking meth even talking about the drug dealer that they got it from. I came back home and asked him how his days was and who came to visit. No one he said not knowing about the listening devices I planted. I went along with it to see how much of a liar he was. Of course when I told him I knew what was going on he denied it. Thats when I played the tape. BUSTED!! I threw him out of the house because he's an addict it turns out and a cheat plus a liar. I have so much anger, resentment, and frustration but the fact of the matter is... you lay down with dogs you wake up with flies. This just happen a couple of weeks ago so the wounds are still fresh. He tried to shift the blame on me and started to find my weaknesses to shift blame and change the subject the usual things. But at the end I felt good because I got my control back. I feel bad for people not knowing and never really getting the true story. I think it was easier for me to break lose because I had surveillance so whenever I felt weak I would just play the tape and it gave me more strength to break up. We were both 45 years old and knew each other in third grade so I had a long history especially because we went to high school together as well. The moral of the story is once you open pandora's box you will only get the truth... are you willing to hear it even though it's not pretty? - Mistress Nexxus Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:43:26 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1279 I read several of the comments. All of you seemed to have found out by reading emails or found some type of proof. I've was married for almost 5 years, with him for over 10 and known him since I was 21. I have no proof! My husband is such a great manipulator, he can lie with out any remorse and has the type of job that he can get away with anything. I filed 2 weeks ago after he led me to believe that we were working on thing (remember that I only thought we had marital problems) and after sneaking in our apartment to copy all of our financial papers (I even opened HIS bank statements) because I had suspicions. Turns out that over $50,000.00 was missing from the bank account that is in his name. I ran to Kinko's and copied everything! Everything I could get my hands on. He was spending over $150 per dinner about 3 to 4 nights a week at every great restaurant in town. Lucky Her! The ASS has been wining and dinning someone with my money. My advice is- I always knew that he was lying in my heart. Trust your intuition. It won't fail you! Make sure to protect yourself financially. If you don't that's where you will have your biggest problems, forget morning the marriage to a cheater/crappy husband with no character, take care of yourself so that you can find the love you were supposed to have. Last bit of advice- DO NOT let him talk you into not using a lawyer if he has lied. My husband tried to manipulate me out of mine. I kept her, and she found out in addition to the before mentioned monies he was hiding over $160,000.00 in our/his previously owned home. GET A LAWYER GIRLS!!!!!! - Blind Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:31:03 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1258 I know how you feel. In my case it was my student. My husband knows her family. She is from a poor background and did not have a father. So feeling sorry for her, my husband asked me to take care of her. My husband sometimes send her home. Suddenly I found my husband starting to be distant from me. I asked him why? He said work pressure. Then this girl left for the university the next year. My husband is in the insurance so he travels a lot. He started to act out of the ordinary. He suddenly started to switch off his cell phone at home. stays up late at night to sms and when i ask him he says it is his clients. One night my husband left his cell phone on and a message came through at about 2.00am. curious i looked and written on it is telling my husband to be patient and wait for her to graduate and then they can get together. SHE was telling him to take care of his family until she is free. I just got so furious I woke my husband up from his sleep to demand an explanation. He could not say anything. I called the girl and really fired her. Then my husband and I had a very big argument. He tried to come me down. and told me it was nothing and that she was only having an infatuation. I trusted him but a few months later I found another message from her while I was in the car with him. He started to stammer and again I called her and told her off. Almost a year later my husband told me he is having problem with the girl. I was shocked that he still kept in touch with her. Now she does not want to let him go and he is afraid and unsure what to do because she has threatened to tell me everything. Then she started to harass me!! She ask me to let him go. She calls the house, the cell phones, day and night.Finally we made a police report. The reason why I did not report her earlier was that she comes from a poor background and its difficult to get scholarship and I did not to be responsible for someone to lose the education. She continued and there was once in the evening starting 8.00 till the next morning she called may husband 203 times. We unplugged the house phone, my phone was changed. my husband could not do anything because he had hundreds of clients listed way back for about 15 years.Then again my husband told me she is causing trouble so I called her and thats when she asked me to ask my husband about their affair. I asked my husband and he told me that its been going on for about 3 years. Imagine how I feel after telling that girl off and practically shouting at her, my husband has still been going back to her. Its the worst kind of betrayal.He told me that he picks her from the University and takes her to a hotel and then sends her back. We had a good sexual marriage and suddenly he hardly came to me and I finally realized why. He apologized and said he will not have any contact with her again. He said he could not make love to me because he felt guilty. I told him that if wants this marriage to work he must tell me any time she calls and he agreed. U know what finally broke the camel's back. She dared to call me at home and told me she wants to talk to him. I said ok hung up and told my husband what happened. Then I picked up his cell phone and went to the police station and then I contacted the University. By then my husband had followed me to the police station. He told me not to be hasty and that made me even madder. He said that it will affect his name and that he has already been truthful to me, which was true. He called the girl's mother and talked to her and told her where he was and I was doing. A few minutes later the girl called and a police officer answered. She started to panic when the officer told her that I was pressing charges. She promised me that she will not disturb me or my husband again and till today she has not. But we don't have a happy marriage, because I don't trust him anymore. I am staying on for the kids. He wants this marriage. He says he loves me and the kids but it hurts so much. Whenever he hugs or kisses me I ask myself 'is it like this with her?' Is sex the same. The imagination is slowly killing and I cry whenever alone. Whenever he wants to go outstation we have very big arguments. So now to please me he does not stay overnight I have forgiven him but I can't forget. I am now being practical and staying because he earns well and I have gone through hell for him. I don't him tell that but now I do what I please and still enjoy the money he gives me every month and USING HIS GUILT AGAINST HIM I HAVE ALSO MADE HIM SIGN ALL OUR SAVINGS AND THE PROPERTY TO MY NAME. I know it hurts like hell but don't let them get away with it. Be strong. Take him for all he has and enjoy your yourself. - pricilla Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:52:53 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1256 Just found out he was with another woman four years. She came to my door. He never fessed up. How do I trust him now? We have two kids and I love him, he says he will work it out but how long is too long? - whatnow Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:47:39 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1246 I know what everyone here is going though.. I am going though it right now myself but my husband might have gotten her pregnant. She says it's his but, only a dna test will tell for sure... >:( - jaime hayward Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:14:47 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1245 Just found out that my husband was cheating on me all this while... I feel like killing the bastard... I'm so angry and humiliated.... He cant even look at me in the eye... It makes me feel sick that he did this to me... DON'T TRUST ANY MAN! - humiliated Ann Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:47:51 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/copinghusbandcheat.html#comment-1240 I'm up crying. I've been with a serial cheater for 4 years. We have a 2 year old together. He has cheated on me with various women throughout the entire relationship. Everything, for now, is fine. I will never trust him, but we can't seem to live without each other..... its sick. He has borderline personality disorder. Loves me one month, hates me the next (cheating), makes suicide threats to get me back. very manipulative. - j3ss Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:40:45 +0100