Comments for Husband Loves Someone Else at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 4 out of 4 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:18:37 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/relationship_problems/husband_loves_someone_else.html#comment-1212 Hey, I am totally inspired by what truth said. I have been there. All the different stages after discovering the affair. Believe yourself. Treat yourself better. Plan your future. Meet new people, even if just online friends. You will get better after a while. It takes some time. But once you get your attention back to yourself, you will not feel that bad. I know it's hard, but just do it anyway. Once he saw you as a complete person, he might be the one who is confused. You will feel better if that happened and you will feel more strength to do more for your life. Life is too short to figure out a liar. You have to be true to your own feeling now. - learntolove Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:18:02 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/relationship_problems/husband_loves_someone_else.html#comment-902 I know exactly what you are feeling. My wife of 20 years has had an emotional affair (2 years) with a married friend and says she is "in love" with him, because they connect on so many levels. She says she "loves" me since we have 2 kids (teenagers) & a history together. But, she doesn't see a future with us as she doesn't feel emotionally connected to me. It is very hard to let her go because I fear that one day she will "wake up from this fantasy" and realize what she has given up. Hang in there but fight for what YOU want. - flip-flopped situation Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:02:32 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/relationship_problems/husband_loves_someone_else.html#comment-814 I feel your pain and I agree with the previous posters. I am going through a similar thing as my husband is still in love with his ex-wife. It hurts to even write that. So, I suggest you file for divorce. Don't be stubborn on this. You file. It will give you rights and heads up. I am so sorry you are going through this. However, I feel you deserve a second chance at life with a better man. - tx girl Sat, 23 Jun 2007 23:35:20 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/relationship_problems/husband_loves_someone_else.html#comment-661 You stated some very important facts. Sometimes it helps to look at such facts and repeat reviewing them them so while our mind is in such shock and our feelings are in such disarray, we have time to realize the "truth." You mentioned that your husband has been in love with this person since grade school.("HE" did not follow his truth). But then he told you he "loved you more." ("HE" wanted "his" security and he lied to you and himself). "HE" initiated the call to her after two years, and then led her to believe your marriage was on it's way to a divorce. ("HE lied to you and to her). "HE" went to see her and came back telling you "HE" wanted to be with her forever! IF only our brains would accept the truth and our feelings not disguise truth. "He" told you that "HE" still loved you (cared about you) but was not "in love" with you (lust, want and desire). "HE" had you move out of YOUR HOUSE! And moved her in! Why didn't he just move out since he is the one who wants to end this marriage? You said you still maintain a sexual relationship with him. Why? "HE" is getting his cake and eating it too. "HE" told you that YOU forced him to look for love elsewhere by not providing hem with enough attention! Didn't "HE" find this love so many years ago? It had nothing to do with you, your behavior, or anything else, it is all about "HIM." Now she tells "HIM" she wants 'HIM" all to herself. "He" tells you "HE" is convinced they are going to be together forever. "HE" went to see her and you think it was only an emotional affair...I would think differently. "HE" Knows you are hurting but can't love you like he loves her. What to do? BELIEVE HIM. What to do next? BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! TRUST WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE. Know that you can not make anyone love you. Have respect for yourself - Sometimes the best way to love someone is to not love then at all. I do not like the way he has controlled this game of love feelings. You were married for 15 years. You should be entitled to half of all assets gained in your marriage. I can't tell you what to do but I will offer my suggestions. 1. Get a good divorce attorney. 2. Gather all records of finances (mortgage on home,savings,investments,annual incomes, ownerships of cars, or of any financial value. 3. Request the court to settle all finances 50/50 - do not hang onto the house - sell it, you each get half. This allows you some financing to get back upon your own. And you will not have to live where memories may haunt you. You will be due alimony and possibility financial assistance to re-train into a career. Child-support if you have children. In your case I would fight for full custody due the circumstances as "He" has his priorities elsewhere. Get good legal advice and someone who is out to protect you! Do not let emotional feelings come into play but rather deal with it as a business. After all, this is the business of life. Once you know the truth, you can no longer blame him or anyone. You own this now. You have a choice to make. Be strong, focus you, gather good friends or make new ones. Do what you've always wanted to do even if it is to learn to play a piano. Go back to school. Look at it this way. You've been given a second chance at life. Not all receive such an opportunity. Cherish it and start doing something about it. Tell "HIM" farewell, good luck, and get far away from he and her and start your new life. You don't have to live someone else's lies , you get to live your truth. He'll remain as confused as ever. I doubt it is love those two are really feeling, but this is not about them anymore, it is about you. What do you want? Take back your power, your control of your life. Be thankful for all things, these are our life lessons to learn, to grow from, to live fuller from. You are on your way to something more....something better...something you can decide and control...your truth. Honor that. You'll come out on top and you will find something in this life more richer and more valuable than deception, lies and pain. You will find "truth." You know the saying..."And the truth will set you free......" I wish you peace and blessings. - been there done that Mon, 19 Mar 2007 04:01:35 +0100