Comments for Will He Leave His Wife at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 277 out of 20 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:21:43 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1828 I am a married woman and what I see here is your need to wreck up a marriage. First you should find out if he is married before you decide to get involved I can tell you that I have been the wife where my husband decided that he wasn't in love with me anymore. He left and filed for divorce, it became since I didn't get along with his mother in the first place. He dated other woman, but they treated him like crap, and on one of them he thought that he was going to marry. After three years in divorce court. My husband and I are back together. So if you would not go after a married man, then you wouldn't destroy us wives and children My husband went through a mid-life crisis and so do many married men. So if you think that you are going to hold on to your mm, think again..... Jen - Midlife Crisis Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:14:10 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1824 Stop being delusional, a married man will never leave his wife! He will tell you whatever he needs to tell you, to make you believe him and stay in the relationship. Why pay for the cow when the milk is free! Even with his herpes, my husband still wants our marriage to work. Its too late for the begging now! I have read all the blogs. First of all, for all of you who fell in love, anything you can fall into, you can fall out of! How do you meet someone and fall in love in under 3 months and just because you are together for 9 months does not make it love either. You all sound like you are in a movie! Lets get real and call it what it really is "LUST". It takes at least 3 years to really get to know someone. When you first start dating or pursuing, both parties are on there best behaviors for at least the first 2 years. It is not until the 3rd year the real you shows up that has been there all along that both of you refused to see because you were both "in love". I feel sorry for you young women that have no sense of direction when it comes to relationships. Where is your self esteem? Where is your mother, grandmother, BFF to talk with? Why would you have children with married men? This just adds to the drama! Because now some of your children grow up without their biological fathers involved in their lives. And that adds more drama in your lives, because now you want to date and have different men, some of them meeting your children, this confuses the child and what role model are you to your child? No a married man will not leave his wife, especially if their are children involved with his wife, you are the chick on the side! You started as "the chick on the side" and will end that way "the chick on the side!" And even if there is a divorce on his part, it won't work with you both, because your whole relationship was based on deceit! You will not be able to trust him and somewhere in the back of his mind he will not be able to trust you because of how you both got together. You will always wonder if he will cheat on you, because he cheated with you on his wife, to be with you! And he will think wow I cheated on my wife to get with her, how do I know she won't do the same thing to me? He had to lie to his wife to be with you! Really women soak that up, "HE HAD TO LIE TO HIS WIFE TO BE WITH YOU!" But you want this irresistible lying, deceitful lover! Be careful what you ask for because some of you might just trade places with the wife! In fact I would love to read some blogs from women who married their MM. How is it working for you? I heard something crazy the other day on the radio about a women who seemed to be bragging that she and her married man had a bank account together. She was the fool making the deposits with her money because he was making most of the withdrawals, but she's in love and doesn't know what to do! Stop falling for the lies! Even if you speak to the wife and she says yes it's the truth, put your foot down and let him/her get divorced first, before you get all wrapped up, "in love", in lust and attached. Good luck and God bless! I hope, at least I have made sense to someone and stopped them from making the sad decision to have an affair with a married man! Yours Truly,The Wife! - The Wife Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:38:08 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1823 All of you women who indulge in relationships with married men should be ashamed of yourselves. You all don't understand how you contribute to the many broken families in community. Once you find out he is married or if it is a man, she is married, they should be off limits. You don't understand how children are hurt because of your selfishness, because that is exactly what it is selfishness! How do you find happiness in being apart of breaking up a marriage? What gets me is that for some reason you think that person is incapable of cheating on you! Wake up! I don't care, how good the loving is, look at the reality, this person is married to another person and no good is going to come out of it except a lot of hurt and regret for all parties involved. If we women, and yes I blame women stuck together and respected each others relationships, we wouldn't have all these unnecessary problems we create for ourselves. And we wouldn't be able to say men are men because you need 2 to tango! I know I probably sound angry, but I'm not, I am just tired of the BS. Why do you think he will leave his wife to get with you? He has no obligations to you legally or financially. If he dropped dead today his wife would get everything and all you would have is a broken heart and wasted years. My husband is having or trying to get out of his affair. I am laughing because we have been together for 26 years and have 5 children. He has herpes as a result of his affair, because like some of you dumb married men, you get played too! You don't know who she is sleeping with while you are lying to her and think you are getting over! Thank God I am STD free! Now my husband is miserable because he no longer has me and will soon have to pay! And all this for what! Ladies, if you can call yourselves that, because a lady always know when it's time to leave! WAKE UP! - The Wife Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:10:01 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1820 This is a great site; wish I had come across it during my divorce. My situation is a little different and I hope someone can give me some advice. Here's the story... I met my husband when I was 16 (he was 22). He was my first love and we ended up getting married 6 years later. We were married for 14 years when I found out about his 18 month affair with a co-worker. Needless to say I was devastated. To make matters worse, it actually made the newspapers and our children found out about their dad's infidelity. We went through a hostile, long drawn out divorce and he ended up moving in with the other woman and her kids. They've been shacking up for almost three years now. In the meantime, I have had two relationships; one lasting a year and the other almost two. For the past year my ex and I have not only been getting along well, but we have been becoming emotionally attached again. Six months ago we started having an affair. He told me he's not happy in his current relationship anymore and wants out. He says he wants to be with me, but we never really talk about it when we're together (I've been too cowardly to bring it up). I never stopped loving him and want him back as pathetic as that sounds. Yes, he did have an affair while we were married, but I wasn't the perfect wife (I never cheated on him). I know what I'm doing is no better than what she did to me. I worked hard to get my life back together and it took my kids and I a long time to come to terms with everything and be ok. I feel like I'm setting myself up to get hurt again by this man. I feel so happy and alive when we're together, but the moment he leaves (goes home to her) I can't breathe. Has anyone heard of a situation like this working out? - The Fool Again Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:26:17 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1818 To Red Rose and all of the women who have been here, My story is very similar, but I'll be brief. I was involved with a MM (high school sweetheart) for over a year. He searched me down, pledged his love, even asked me to marry him and started to plan the wedding. He had me house-hunting and making budgets. I have two children had none. He always said he was getting divorced after his wife graduated from college and was able to support herself--even gave a date. I became pregnant early in the relationship--almost his EXACT words too--after all of his previous bs about wanting children more than anything, he has the nerve to say (as I'm standing there holding the "positive" stick in my hands) that "You agree this is not a good time to have a child, right?" This was a huge wake up call for me. I started to check his stories. The date for his divorce came and went and the excuses flew. My trust waned. He ended up starting to become suddenly more callous and flippant with me about our relationship and our future. My husband found out (yes, I was also married and thought we were also getting a divorce--the plan was for him to divorce first, move to my state, me get a divorce and us get married and live happily ever after). Here's what the outcomes were: 1. I lost the baby. Thank God. This man didn't want the child and my husband was "fixed". My own children and husband would have been devastated. 2. I found out my convictions were correct--he was never planning on divorcing her or moving here. Everything he told me was a lie (gee, it looks like he's not the only one to do this--when will we learn???) 3. I spoke to his wife--she didn't hate him nor was a bitch--she actually loved the guy and they are still married. 3. I battle daily with the pain I caused my husband and children--the guilt is horrible. I never thought I was the type of person to do that or that he was the liar he turned out to be. 4. I could have lost my husband and my children. When my husband found out, he was planning on leaving me, and the taking the kids with him. 5. I realize that I could NEVER EVER trust this man again--even if he did get divorced, I would not want him. How could I (or you) ever trust someone like that? Who tells a woman with two children that he loves her, wants to marry her, has her house-hunting, and ready to lose it all for him when he had ZERO intention of ever following through? He is a heartless bastard. I did plan on being with him and would have. But now I hope to help others escape this trap. It is so enticing I know. And the bond from these relationships is strong, but it's more of an "attachment"/addiction bond than a "love" bond. I read this somewhere else. Love leads people to be better human beings. If a man loves a woman, he would do anything to make her his own as soon as possible. He would not wait. He would not want you to feel second best to his "bitch" wife--regardless of his excuse. (Mine told me if he were to divorce her at the time that she would take him for half of his business, blah blah blah. Well, there's never a good time with these men.) The reason they don't leave is because THEY DON'T WANT TO--or don't want to bad enough. Apparently, we don't mean enough. Who wants a guy like that anyway? I say, rip the band aid off! Do a lot of praying, work on your own self esteem and get yourself into a position where you don't "need" love or approval from anyone--and wait for a real man. My husband and I grew a lot through our whole ordeal and our marriage is stronger than it ever was. I see others in this situation and it breaks my heart. God bless all of you, and let me know if I can help you in any way. - learnedthehardway Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:31:57 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1800 I have a different perspective that has taken some time to arrive at but one which I would like to share. I have read every post and found so many similarities with my own situation, at least on the surface. I am 44 and single, never been married but have been close 3 times including living with 2 of those men before deciding that marriage with either of them wasn't right for me so I left, in hindsight I was spot on as marrying either would have been settling and that is something that I refused and still refuse to do. I have kissed a lot of frogs (no not literally) and never have any trouble meeting or dating guys, I just have never found anybody that I loved enough or had it reciprocated to where I felt that marriage was right for me. In the past I have turned down the advances of many married men, never wanting to fall into that "trap". As I got into my thirties however I changed my viewpoint and decided that if a married man made the first move and I was so inclined, what was the harm in it? I knew I didn't love these men, but the sex was good and it helped pass the time as I kept looking for Mr. Right. I became attracted to my MM about a year ago, it took him almost 6 months to make his first move and when he did I was willing to accept his advances. There was no alcohol involved and our first encounter was pre-meditated, so no convenient accident. As I was driving to meet him that first day (hadn't even kissed him yet) I said out loud to myself as I came to this realization "I am in love with this man". From the first hug, kiss, encounter I knew that he was in love with me too. It was our 2nd encounter that I asked him what this was for him, was this casual sex? And he said no. I told him good because it wasn't for me either and that I loved him, he said he wouldn't be here right now if he didn't love me too. We have been seeing each other every chance we get for 7 months now. He isn't ready to leave his wife, he may never be though he says he will. That all is neither here nor there. I love this man and he loves me and we are happy. Yes it would be nice to spend more time with him but that isn't reality, not now. I met him one promise too late and I can't change that and I can't turn back the clock 20 years nor can he. Love and life is so precious and so fleeting, how can loving anybody for any period of time ever be considered a waste of time? I have never met anybody that makes me feel the way that he does and I know the joy that I bring to his life. I guess my independence all my life gives me a slightly different outlook, but I am happy. Life is short and I am living each day and loving each day with a passion and zest for all that surrounds me. I have wonderful friends and the love of my life. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? - old_heart Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:39:14 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1799 Been there, bought the Tshirt, Im so glad to hear that you're putting yourself back out there! Good for you, you deserve it. I'm jealous that I can't force myself to do the same. I was doing so great. I went a week and a half with almost no contact with him. Tonight, I emailed him. I just missed him. I didn't say anything I regretted, simply just asked how he's been and whatnot. He replied almost instantly. Other than a few brief Instant messaging conversations, I haven't really heard from him lately. He told me a few days ago that he might give me a ring on Sunday (tonight) because he missed me and 'wanted to hear my voice'.. yeah, I didn't get the phone call. Surprise, surprise.. his wife must have gotten the night off work or something. haha. I swore I wouldn't have any contact with him unless he initiated the conversation. But I had a terrible weekend. The anniversary of my old boyfriends death was on Saturday, and to top things off, 2 of my friends were in a car accident on that same day, they were both on life support, but they pulled the plug tonight on one of them. The reason I mention this is because I think it has a lot to do with why I emailed him. I was vulnerable. I was angry. I was hurt. And for the past 6 months or so, whenever I felt that way, it was my MM who gave me comfort. Sure, I have friends who are more than willing to be there for me, but I think that I am just mad at the world because of an abundance of reasons. Because, I'll never be able to say goodbye to my friend, because I have so many things left unsaid, because of my father, because of my MM, because she met him and married him before I even had a chance. I'm mad at fate!And sometimes, the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you start. I believe that this is what lead me back to my MM tonight. But tonight, something was different. This is the first time that he wasn't able to get my mind off things. Maybe he just wasn't trying? I don't know. All I know is that tonight, I felt a different vibe. Not from him, but the whole situation. I'm not really a spiritual person, but I felt like it was kind of a sign. As soon as I got an email from him I kind of felt like there are worst kinds of broken hearts. Yeah, I'll never be with the man im truly in love with, but I'm sure I feel much better than my friends mom, who had to pull the plug on her son tonight. Goodbye's suck! Regardless if you know it's for the best. That doesn't make the pain any easier. young-and-in-love - young-and-in-love Mon, 03 Nov 2008 04:31:46 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1793 I am out of my affair with a married man, but I disagree with a blanket statement from another man that you were being used. Perhaps you were. Perhaps I was. But I know when giving advice to my friends I always give the caveat that every situation and person is different. Perhaps these married men are indeed torn between the Love of another women and attachment to their family life and security. Regardless we have to take a step back and look hard at what we are missing in staying in these relationships. Life is short and precious. I'm out of my affair, and by his choice even though he initially begged for me to wait until Spring when he feels he'll be financially ready. Spring I could have waited, but I started dating so I would not be short-changed during the holidays. This sent a men who loves me to call me 14 times the evening of my first date crying? Regardless he finally let me go knowing he can't get out now and he cannot watch me date others. I'm bitter, my respect for him has diminished, but a small part sees it as an act of love. Now I am starting to date two wonderful men. I am experiencing that which I missed the 1.5 years I was in an affair by having men buy me tickets to concerts, meet friends in my town, double date.... and am looking forward to progressing in a relationship and their being even more involved in my life with the holidays, meeting my daughters, and family. I ache still for my married man. I loved him like no other. But I love myself more. I can step back and see that he loves me as well, but he is flawed if he cannot find a way or the strength to get out of his marriage (hell I did it when I was much younger with two small children!). Focus on YOU, YOU, YOU! Focus on how wonderful it'll feel when you have a man happy and proud to have you on his arm. - Been there, bought the T-shirt Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:17:34 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1789 Dear Humbled, Thank you so much for all your compassion and support. It’s great to come here, where I know I won’t be judged. Being only 19, my friends (the ones who actually knew about the whole ordeal) just look at me like I’m so naïve.. When really, I just fell in love with the wrong man. And humbled, It means a lot that you mentioned the strength I had. I think I am reacting a lot better than I thought I would have. A few years ago, I lost my first love in a car accident. The reason I bring this up is because I noticed how similar these two feelings are. I would give anything to bring my first love back. But bottom line, I can’t. It just wasn’t in the cards for me to have him in my life. And, the more I cry over my MM and wonder ‘what if..’ I know that If we were meant to be together, we would. (Despite my normal ‘everything happens for a reason’ skeptism (is that a word?). Humbled, you are SO right about anger helping me get over it. I completely agree. I have said to my friends over and over in the past few days that I just wish I could be angry with him. But truth is, he couldn’t have been nicer about it and I feel no anger towards him (unfortunately). I keep reminding myself that I knew he was married from day one, and I knew what I had to lose (my heart). I took a gamble. I lost, but I learned from this whole experience, which is of course to chase after men who aren’t married (go figure!) I do hope to stay in contact with him. It’ll be hard and I’m sure being friends wont work.. But eventually, when I’ve moved on I would love him to be in my life,, to an extent, of course. As I read over what I just wrote, It doesn’t even sound like me who wrote it!. I guess all of this is what my head is telling me.. Its what I keep telling myself in order to stay sane. What you aren’t hearing is my heart. My heart is telling me that I miss him beyond belief. I know all of you are feeling this same way, otherwise you wouldn’t be on here. Maybe you’re still with your married man, or maybe you’re like me.. It has ended. Despite the circumstances, I’m sure that you’re feeling somewhat empty inside, or something is missing. For me, that’s the spot in my heart that my MM filled. And they’ll always be that place for him, and he knows that. I’ll continue to post on here, since it has helped me a great deal.. And be another to tell my story and share some insight, like you have all shown me (THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!) But please remember, to all of you.. There are some people who are destined to just walk into your life, teach you a lesson and walk right back out. For me, I believe that was my married man. What about you? Do you think your MM was/is one of these? Agree or disagree? All the love in the world, Young-and-in-love - young-and-in-love Tue, 28 Oct 2008 05:45:53 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1788 To Young and in Love- I'm so sorry for your sadness and heartbreak. And am so proud of your class and strength. You did the right thing, absolutely. And it would be great if you could be a little angry at his implication that he could come back to you, because a little anger might help you over the sadder rougher parts of your broken heart. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And a small part of me is envious of your ability to move on so smoothly. I wish for, and then I dread, the ability to be in your place. Best to you, and post when you are doing great to give the rest of us joy, hope and motivation. Because I have no doubt that you will be great, stronger and wiser in a fairly short time. Lots to love to you. Humbled - humbled Mon, 27 Oct 2008 10:45:01 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1786 So, we ended it. Well, actually.. he did. He explained to me that he's been going to a counselor to deal with all of this, and he says he owes it to his kids and his vows to make an effort with his wife. And he said that his love towards me was keeping him distant from his wife. I must say, that I kept my cool. I acted like I didn't need him and even though he means alot to me, I'll be okay. He didn't actually say he wanted to end it. He said 'we should take a break'. Like, what does that even mean? Just incase things don't work out at home, he'll have me on the side. Sorry, baby.. I won't be there. Every word that came out of my mouth hurt like hell. Trying to tell him that I just want him to be happy was the hardest thing ever.. I've never actually said that, and MEANT it. So, This is just the beginning. I'm left here with a broken heart. But, I'm somewhat relieved. I knew it was too good to be true. And Im actually kind of thankful he ended it, because I sure wasn't ready. - young-and-in-love Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:33:44 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1774 Hi Fed up Fed up, I must have returned to my MM 3 times before I realized what am I doing? Your head is on straight and yes, I understand. Hon, keep on keeping on. You're amazing. Keep the faith, girl. > - Clarise Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:56:12 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1772 I never in my life anticipated being here. Red Rose your situation is not unique. I sit here, just gave birth to his twins 4 months ago - and where is he? I wish i had run when i first saw that red light. He has put me through unimaginable shame - I couldn't tell you all. But I have my comfort in this, I WILL find my strength in time. I wont revenge or be bitter, in fact, IO shall forgive and let go. I KNOW he will come back one day, that's just special knowledge I got, without a shadow of a single doubt, he is coming back - when he does, he will see what a looser he is, cause this is NOT going to get me down. I will learn change and grow - and accept God's truth and be even better than when he finds me, - THEN where will he be? I serve a mysterious God - and sometimes what goes around just HAS TO come around, HE WONT GO SCOTT FREE. The greatest mistake I ever made guys, was not to go out with him, or yadi yada, it was that I gave love to somebody who desperately needed it, out of the kindness of my own heart. But he dealt me a cruel hand in return. That's aright, cause you know, I more than ever before, am determined to be pure before God. I let him go. To work on his marriage which I even pray for them as i did a few days ago - for it to work, for them to draw closer, and to realize their mistakes, so they can continue being a good solid family. That's big of me yeah. I know, I do it ultimately believing that as I do good and forgive, my healing and lasting and profound change, and blessings will come. Am not a looser. I just fell prey to a lion - that I gave the right to be in my life by my bad actions. I am changing, and everyday he stays away, is everyday I move away, and get stronger. Girls, I know you have mentioned best case scenarios of us walking away and then he comes back, I know - cause I myself dreamt of that. But am fast approaching the I don't care sign, and most likely, and most hopefully the one that says, "if you were single again and was the only man on earth - I NEVER would touch you with a 2000 million hundred foot pole". Just cant do this anymore, somebody who insults you this deep, and puts you through this shame, you don't deserve. I pray to my God out there, to first heal and restore me. and then find me a good man, COMPLETELY UNATTACHED, who loves me tons. and we can start again. If yall can, search for that movie, "Madea's Family Reunion". Its great how she found somebody who was just fitting for her, and she didn't have to lie or sneak or whatever to keep him. I want him to keep his sorry ass, and never dare venture come here again - no, not you in my life again Eddie. Not you in my life again. You came for a season, whatever you came to accomplish, maybe strengthen me or prepare me for a better future, WHATEVER it is, your done mate - please go. Guys, or should I say Gurlies, fast forward 20 years from now - WHERE WILL HE BE. I will quietly move on, remain the ever docile little sheep, and I know my most POWERFUL AND MIGHTY GOD, will make a rotten situation good. Why marry a cheat anyways, even if he came back he would most likely cheat on me anyways, - I deserve better. PS. better to suffer short term, and gain long term, than to gain short term and suffer long term. I choose to invest long term. CARE AND LOVE TO ALL YOU GURLS. - FedUpFedUp Thu, 23 Oct 2008 07:59:39 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1769 Young and in Love, This is not the worst thing you have ever done. You are in love and it feels absolutely wonderful. I understand. There is an amazing part of us that needs to be loved and cared in whole. When I was involved with my MM I knew better, but I was hooked like a drug. I wish you well with your father. That in itself would be healing for you. Be happy. Claire - Clarise Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:20:40 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1768 Claire, I know what I need to do. I've known for awhile, It's just easier said than done. I've read all of your other posts and I know that you know how I feel. Thing is, I don't know why I don't just let go. I (think) I have plenty of confidence. I'm not worried that I won't find someone else my own age.. Not at all.. Im young, and I think I'm decently attractive and I've got a nice personality. I'm wondering if I made mends with my father this would ease my situation abit.. This is the worst thing I've ever done. I know it isn't fair to anyone in this situation.. and I need to end it. Too many people can be hurt here. But, until I muster up the confidence to do so, I will continue to come here and read other's stories, since I find them very motivational. I have so much respect for all of you who are strong enough to walk away. Thanks for your response, I really appreciate your time. But, I think I just need to wean myself away from him and do it on my own time. When (and I say 'when', not 'if') I will end it cold turkey. All the best, young-and-in-love - young-and-in-love Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:02:07 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1767 To young and in Love, You are 19 and he is 36. He married his high school sweetheart and they have fights. Imagine that. Dear girl most married couples do. Even the best of marriages have rough spots. My MM told me his wife was a beast. Turns out she is anything but and don't I feel like a fool. In that I have cousins in the UK they have gone into her shop; she is just darling. The sweetest person one could know. My advice is run like hell. Save this marriage and find someone your own age dear. Understand the male ego and try to back away from this situation before someone really gets hurt. Yes, I would say issues with your dad contributes ENORMOUSLY to your attraction to your MM. Hon I am not trying to make you feel horrid; his wife doesn't have a prayer with a 19 year old making him feel he was 19 again. Truthfully it is unfair to her and their children and to him. He fell in love with her; as I mentioned all marriages have rough edges. Okay, so you're in love. And you haven't had sex yet. This isn't about sex; rather intimacy. You are connected emotionally and it is so easy to do. We have all been there. Rather different situations. Take care and run like the wind. It will hurt and you will miss this emotional connection you don't have with your dad. Blessings to you, Claire - Clarise Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:56:01 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1766 hi Humbled, [b]You shared [/b] As women we are such emotional beings aren't we. There are many differences in men and women and our motives. Not meant to manipulate, rather find that SAFE haven you discovered so brilliantly. Few of us ever reach it; rather are in agony for years. Many are stuck in a sad horrific lifestyle and hoping he will leave her. You are so on. MEN NEVER LEAVE HOME. I believe it was Wisdom who mentioned the Peter Pan theory how men want to be little boy most of their lives into adulthood. They must have been momma's boy. Much Happiness to you. Blessings, Claire - Clarise Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:23:10 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1761 Hi Red Rose, Don't know what happened to my post. You shared in the past how sad he was and how he was more of a victim. Now you are agonizing over this man's insensitive attitude towards your pregnancy. His child. What causes men to react in such a fashion is beyond me and I truly wish you peace and a sense of comfort. Who knows what causes people to be so unkind. My thoughts are with you at this most wonderful yet difficult time in your life. Much happiness to you. Blessings, Claire - Clarise Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:35:24 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1760 Someone said something to me today that I have been mulling over so I will put it out to all of you. She said that it is true that married men rarely leave their wives, when they do they almost always have someone waiting (that would be us, I suppose), and they tend to do it only if they feel they are losing the other woman. That she is pulling away, moving forward without him. He sees what is sometimes the only joy in his life disappearing, and that might get him moving. This won't happen with an ultimatum. Just with moving away kindly. I have been looking for a way to motivate to move on, as "Young-and-in-love" said, you have to want to do it. So this might do it for me... Best case scenario, I move forward and look for my own relationships, he comes after me when he is free & clear, worst case scenario, I move forward and he doesn't come after me, but I've moved forward so hopefully won't have the intense hurt I would have now. Now I'll wait for all of you to weigh in... and see if my heart will follow my head's lead for once. -Humbled - humbled Sun, 19 Oct 2008 18:42:30 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/will_he_leave_his_wife.html#comment-1759 Red Rose, You shared - Clarise Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:24:45 +0100