Comments for cure compulsive lying at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 7 out of 7 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:11:52 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1770 hi im 23 years old and i think im a compulsive liar, i keep lying about stuff about my past to other people in part because im ashamed of the things that ive done, the really bad part its that i can lie looking into your eyes this was kind of fun and it made me feel safe because im always trying to hide my past and there its nobody that i have been able to tell the truth so far, i admit i have a problem but i need help, thanks to my ability to lie i am about to lose my girlfriend and i really love her, i keep telling her that i will change but i always end up lying about some stupid stuff that doesnt even matter but it counts as lie and i really want to stop lying please any advise would help... - rob23 Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:11:47 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1595 This story sounds just like mine I just had to get a restraining order from my pathological liar husband I have been through complete hell with him. At first I would get so confused nothing added up I felt like he was not being honest but when I would confront him he would make me feel bad like I was a horrible person for thinking that way about it he would never admit he was lying and when I had a lot of evidence he would go into a rage and be abusive verbally and sometimes physically. I got to the point where i doubted myself and my own instincts entirely because he was so convincing even when it was so obvious he was lying I can't explain how that happens. He blamed everything on his horrible childhood I felt so sorry for him and I loved him so much that I kept forgiving him for treating me bad when I should not have. After we had a baby and he got fired from two jobs because of his lying and became even more abusive I realized I had to do something to get help so I sought counseling we seen 5 different counselors and all said he was a pathological or compulsive liar and maybe had chemical imbalances as well. He didn't believe any of them well sometimes he did and he would say I really need help I can't control this etc. Sicking by his side and loving him endlessly really backfired because when he could not lie anymore because the counselors could tell he just stopped caring about me and the baby he just quit and became so evil within two days I had to get him out of our lives. This man is completely insane he went out of his way to be loving to me he would send several messages everyday he loved me, poems, cards, flowers, phone calls, stuffed animals even wrote me a song and recorded it. He made my breakfast every morning and my lunch because he wanted me to eat well during our entire relationship he always woke up when I did not matter how much sleep he got because he wanted to spend time together he adored our baby and said she meant the world to him. I mean this man had me and all of my friends and family thinking I was his world everone would say you have the best husband but only a few knew about his lying and rage issues. I never thought he would do anything to entirely hurt us because the issues were maybe 10% of the time and the other 90% he was the best husband anyone could ask for. Now he is completely out of the picture he won't help financially he doesn't want to see our baby and he has not one ounce of remorse or compassion for what I am going through he left me in such a bad financial situation I have no money and he is going out to bars and dating 3 days after he had to leave he joined a dating website worse a bar pickup website. He completely flipped on me. I feel like the version I knew died or worse yet never really existed and it is very hard because I really loved him so much and just wanted him to get help it is hard to imagine how someone can be so dedicated and loving one minute and then care less the next. If anyone out there is like him and can explain please let me know because it haunts me every single day. - wedeservedbetter Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:26:31 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1558 I know that I am a compulsive liar but never admitted it to anyone up until this moment. I have a very high intelligence level and as much as it has helped me it has also hindered me. I am brilliant at lying because I can see all the variables and form the best believable/provable/suitable lie with the least or no repercussion. I can also structure strings of lies based on research/knowledge which will result in an end goal. I can even lie and put things in place afterwards to corroborate my lie in the future. What also helps me to lies is the fact that I understand human nature and people quite well and I to exploit that ability. I am a combination of a compulsive and pathological liar as I lie about small things as well as more goal oriented lies. I know that I have a problem and been trying to deal with it by myself, but it is hard to stop lying. I have not always been like this though. Its insane, I even lie about things which would not make a difference whether I lie or not. I do it to protect myself, but it’s not always clear what I am protecting myself from. I have recently come to the conclusion that my girlfriend (on and off for 4 years) has become a compulsive liar. She was not always but I think that our relationship hurt her really badly as well as some issues in her past. So now I am sitting with a dilemma, I know she is a compulsive liar and I catch her quite often by doing research and just knowing people and her nature very. I often have to be underhanded for example checking her cell phone or emails after I suspect she is lying (I have always been right so far). I often have evidence on BLACK & WHITE that she is lying but I cannot confront her with it because then she is going to cut off my access to evidence of her lies. So at this stage she just denies it and I have to accept the fact that I know she lies but can’t rub it in her face. The strange thing is that she is the only person I never lied to. I consider going through her emails without her knowing as lying, hence I used the past tense. But other than that I do not lie to her. So this puts me in a precarious situation. Her lying has not involved cheating up until this point but I am scared that it might escalate. I love this woman with all my heart and I treat her like a queen – you could ask her yourself (that’s actually a really funny line taking the situation into consideration) I have no idea what to do. - Eish Thu, 14 Aug 2008 08:34:25 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1547 If admitting it is the first step, what can you do to get your partner to admit it? Is intervention by friends and family ever advised? - dlmac Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:16:54 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1460 I married my Cl a few months ago, knowing exactly what I was getting - a wonderful, warm, caring, and loving man who had a problem. An unusual one, but one I accept with my eyes wide open. He had a horrid childhood, and he lied to protect himself. He wasn't made to lie, it was the way he chose to protect himself. Throughout his life, he has not been able to form the close bonds he desperately needs as his lies have driven people away. We face the future together with open eyes. I don't regret the choice I made for one second. The lies he has told me in the past have hurt me badly, and I still have my own problems to deal with now because of them. But the 99% of the time when our life is AMAZING, is reward enough for the times when things are hard. No one is perfect. And if you love each other enough you can overcome anything. - Moo Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:07:41 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1455 I've worked with many compulsive liars. I don't know of any true success stories. At best, compulsive liars can learn to avoid situations where they are most likely to lie and they can learn how to mitigate the damage it causes. But lying and the problems it creates will always be an issue in their lives. - counselor Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:27:42 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/compulsive_lying/cure_compulsive_lying.html#comment-1450 Sounds abusive. Watch out! - an Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:04:21 +0100