Comments for seven year cheating husband at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com , comment 1 to 2 out of 2 comments http://www.truthaboutdeception.com Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:13:05 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/seven_year_cheating_husband.html#comment-1398 I had the same story like you. I'm married for 18 years with 3 children and just discovered my husband is having an affair for more than 10 years with a same lady. He works and stays mostly another country. - sanda pru Thu, 29 May 2008 02:00:00 +0100 http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/seven_year_cheating_husband.html#comment-1304 I agree that you should take your time over this before you make a decision. It is not going to be easy because as the experts rightly say, your sense of security has been shattered. Also, its coming to terms with the deceit that is very difficult to do. I have been and to some extent still am, in a similar situation to yours. I accidentally discovered my husband's affair over 2 years ago now. A lot of words have been spoken since then, a lot of tears have been shed on my part, a lot of mistakes have been made, but I decided not to rush into things and take my time before making a decision. I didn't do this conscientiously, more because I was so shocked and afraid of what to do next. Anyway, during this time I have discovered things about myself that I had forgotten, I am seeing my husband in a different light and generally have come to terms with the fact that I had somehow lost sight of who I was and had never really known my husband for who he really is, but for who I wanted him to be. I will never really know the reason why my husband has had this affair and most probably neither will you about your husband. The truth might be quite simple or perhaps very complicated. I think in my husband's case, he did it because she works with him, paid him lots of attention and he kind of created another life outside our home, to help him cope with the fact that he lives an ordinary life with me and yes, thats all there is to life, for some people anyway. I think a lot of men do it for the variety and in their opinion, to relieve the "boredom" of living an ordinary life. Women perhaps accept their life for what it is and don't look to make it more exciting by having affairs, or perhaps they are more aware of the consequences. There are always exceptions of course. I am sure that your husband does love you, like I am sure my husband loves me, but I don't know whether it is enough to stop them straying again. The bottom line rests with you. Given time, one day you will know what kind of life you want to live, whether its a life wondering what your husband is doing when he is not with you, or whether you learn to trust and rely on yourself for your well being and security, but still have your husband in your life but in a way, on your own different terms, as you are now aware of what he is capable of, so, if you want to, you can create a completely different marriage. It has taken me 2 years to start getting over the shock, but, now that I don't expect anything from him and in a way I am more in charge of my life, things seem a lot better. Hope this helps. Good luck. - ang_ei12 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:53:15 +0100