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Hello
I'm looking for a bit of un-biased advice, and I feel I've found the right place to get that.
To give a little background, my husband and I have been together for over 10 years, married for over 4. We have 2 children, 4 years old, and 2 months old. We had some rocky times before we got married, we started our relationship when we were both very young, but somehow endured, and overcame those hard times.. or so I'd thought.
About 6 months ago I started to suspect he was up to something, and being pregnant, I initially blamed my suspicions on hormones. However, I had a gut feeling that I couldn't ignore, so I started to watch him, sometimes literally, very closely. I caught him in several lies, but have yet to confront him about it, because I feel the need to have more evidence to back it up. I now know, after a lot of deep digging, that he was in a sexual relationship of sorts with a girl he's known for years. She lives in another state, so it was never physical. However I've found conversation logs on his computer that show me he talked to her, and used his web cam. The conversations are very explicit, and make it apparent that he masturbated on camera for her. She was also using a camera, and doing the same on her end. The first conversation log I found dates back to nearly a year ago.
I know that this same girl has sent him pictures on his phone, which he deletes, of course. I know that they sent numerous, in the hundreds, text messages to eachother each month. I believe this relationship has come to an end, as far as I can tell, anyway, but it went on for close to a year.
Now, he's in contact with someone he cheated on me with about 6 years ago. I've been able to intercept some messages from her, but have yet to see any from him - he's being very careful with this one. I don't believe it has evolved into anything sexual, yet. But I do know they discuss their feelings for each other, which by her words apparently "run very deep."
I feel I finally have enough evidence to confront him about what he's been doing. All of these things hurt me to the core, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with them. On the one hand, he hasn't physically cheated on me, but I believe he would, if given the opportunity with either of these girls. On the other hand, I feel he has cheated on me, in a way. He's given away words and feelings that should belong to me, and only me.
I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to confront him about this. And, as silly as this may sound, if my feelings of being betrayed are unfounded. I don't believe this is reason enough to leave, even as much as it hurts. I still love him very deeply, and I can't stand the thought of dragging my kids through a divorce.
Mostly, it just feels good to get some of this out. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this, most of our friends are mutual, and wouldn't be of much help. I'm sorry this is so wordy, and if anyone's read it through, thank you. And thanks in advance for any advice, or input.
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