Hello All
I first felt that she may be cheating in Sept.
I planted a webcam and microphone in my bedroom.
It was hit and miss at first, then she figured out where the cam was and still brought the guy into the house.
I recorded them making love, I know her love sounds, and his grunts, she would turn out the lights or do things away from the camera.
I confronted her with what I had, she denied everything, telling me that I had no proof, or she didnt see anyone.
Then I recorded her telling him on the phone that he couldnt comeover because i was recording after she complimented him on his body parts.
And I still tried to make it work, I still looked for ways to move past this, even though she denied this happened.
Well several months later after I took down all the recording devices I planted a sallmp3 player in the living room, this on a Monday after church on sunday.
She comes home early, he knocks on the window, he is talking and she greets him, then they disappear into the bedroom.
The funy thing about allthis is tht she has not stopped treating me differently, she still cares for me, washes my clothes and cooks dinner for me, its like she is two people.
And thats what makes it so hard to let her go.
Cut to now.... Feb 2 08, she does it again, because I dont trust her anynore I buy another recorder ( what kind of life is this )and she comes home, lets the guy in through the back door, she tells him to be quiet, he says "Yeahh" she says or he'll hear you.. then later onthey make love in th eliving room and I hear him, she turns up the tv but the software I used removed the tv sound and brought up the voices....
She denies this too, the thing is, if she would admity it I would be so willing to forgive her and make my marriage work, but I'm not resting, not thinking ok, been depressed and dont beleive or trust her anymore.
I'm in love with her and hurt to the heart.....
This is my situation, I'm sure very much alike someone elses, I'm getting through it, but I want to be out of it so I can live my life.

Wow, you have that much proof and you are sticking around? I would confront her with the evidence, and then run far away. Most of us here would love to have that much proof. The deal breaker for me would be that she knew that you were taping her, but continued to go on with the cheating. I wish you luck.

Yes I restored the audio, his voice, he even has a mamnnerism that I picked up on consistantly.
I am weak though, she treats me good, and she treats my children good, and I am close to her daughter, I love her, she is good though, she can lie so good its mind boggling,

I was worried about how I would look to her parents and to her friends, I made copies of the audio that I keep offsite, man, this is hurting me, so so so much, I need to go and want to go, I have confronted her numerous times and she denies all of it, even after listening to th audio she makes up stories as it plays...have I become addicted to this sick, sick marriage.. I wonder, I am about to make a move but I feel very apprehensive about doing it....

I dont know..... can someone please pffer me your experience on this, what you did, how you felt, what happened please
Thx

my b/f is not sleeping with anyone yet but he dioes have intimate phone and texting conversations with other women but he thinks i don't know, lol. i have caught him everytime so many in fact that i just gave up. he still treats me the same, still loves me and makes it known that he does, still hold me and tells me how beautiful i am and how he wants to marry me and all the things a women love to hear and feel and when we are alone things are better than great between us, but it's when he is at work or home alone or even while i sleep tat these things happen. like i said i have just given up, i have stopped looking, i love him with all my heart and i don't ask the questions i don't want to know the answers to becaues once you find out the truth forgivness is not an option it will always haunt you and you will never trust that person again. i know from experience. all i can say to you is follow your gut but more importantly follow your heart and try to figure out if you would be a happier person living without your wife or if you can even live knowing that you will never have all of her?

This is such a sad story, you are so in love with this women and would do anything for her. The problem is that she knows that you love her and she knows that you will always be there. You are giving her permission to go off with this other man. If you were not going to leave her when you found out she was cheating why continue to spend all that money on recording stuff? If your not going to leave her then dont waste your money and dont ask questions, you can live in the dark and continue on your way. I on the other hand would never do that, if she still wont admit to this why bother staying? You deserve a women that is going to love you, only you and you deserve to know that the women that you go to bed with every night is not doing the same with another man. I think that maybe you have some insecurity issues because otherwise you wouldnt be there. I dont want to sound mean but you are not respecting yourself or doing yourself any favors. Do you guys still have sex? How can you do that knowing that earlier that day she was with him? Leave, find someone else that is going to give you waht you need and deserve, she is out there you just have to find her. As for the pain that you will feel from losing this one, couseling and time will heal that pain and in your next relationship I bet you wont make the same mistake twice. Good luck we are all pulling for you.

Hello All
Thank you for the replies, its so hard to speak about this to people, since I am confronted with this daily,
We just got back from a trip to my home state, I could barely enjoy it, my felings where off.
I t was hard to leave in the beginning when I found out as I had just moved out of state to this new city, and when I found out I tried to lok for a place but my credit prevented me from finding one, that was over five months ago, I have since cleaned up my credit and found a place to mover into, problem now is doing theright thing just doesnt feel all that right, when we are together and we make love I feel close to her, like things are ok, but when I'm away from her I dont trust her, especially since the last time she brought him over was in Feb this year.
And she just wont come clean to me, wont be honest and gets mad when I pry and want to know the truth, just go along with the program, I dont know whats keepoing here me now, feels like stockohlm syndrom....but this is one of the only places where I can vent about this.
I'm saddened that at the base of my marriage are lies and deception, she is like a sex addict, cant stop herself , even whenshe is caught, now her period is late, and I'm sterile, if she does not come pn, whe will no doubt say that I'm not sterile, I had a vesectomy in November, it take ssix weeks some time sles for the semen to run out, so that would a no brainer.
I have a heavy feeling in my heart, I want to feel needed, and tghis has had a very bad effect on my mental and emotional state, I have ben in a daze.
Do I go ahead and move on, do I leave, seperate, do I concern myself with how I look to her family, her fisrt husband left her, and I'm about to do the same, I feel bad, about that, I sound crazy dont I... I'm just very hurt, confused, in love and want to be happy, is tha wrong ??