Ok, one of the few posts NOT about infidelity.

I have been with my wife for 15 years and we have a 14yr old son. I have been aware that she has an inclination to tell "fibs" of varying degrees of severity for years. Anything from lying to get out of going to the relatives for a dinner, to lying to a utility to get an extension on a bill. Nothing that I have ever deemed as damaging.
In the last few years however there have been instances of the lying causing damage to us financially, like telling me a bill is payed so she can go shopping and hope that she comes up with money to cover the bill before I find out or it gets shut off.

Which brings us to the present situation.
She recently had a falling out with a friend, this friend decided my wife owed her money and started sending certified letters to our house saying she was taking us to small claims over it if we didn't pay.

So..I decided to contact the husband of this former friend since I knew he would be the one doing anything legal as the girl had no clue. I explained what I knew of the situation and then got back a FLOOD of emails detailing this huge alternate reality my wife supposedly had crafted and presented to them.

Caveat here..They have chronic pain in common and the friend (according to my wife) is battling addiction to pain pills.

So according to them she had lead them to believe she was a business owner and had multiple houses and was hugely sucessful etc etc. None of this is true of course, we are a single income family living in a modest house just "getting by". So the life they were told she had is what drove them to threaten to sue us since "well if she has all this money she can damn well pay us".

So I have all these emails that are them saying "she told us you guys had..blah blah blah". So I have to take into account that there is drug addiction involved, so people do some crazy/retarded shit when addicted. Plus what do they have to gain by lying to me about this at this point, other than the vindictive aspect of knowing they are causing trouble in our marriage, which is also very likely. Alternately, I know my wife to tell some tall tales before so I have the twinge of doubt that maybe she really did tell them all this shit.
In reality none of it matters now, she doesn't talk to them and nothing she told them is going to hurt our family or me.

The bottom line is that I don't LIKE feeling like I can't trust what my wife tells me. She is mad at me for not trusting me, and thinks that no matter what a husband is supposed to always trust his wife and believe her over anyone else, which I think is retarded and ignorant. I would be a dolt if I just blindly believed everything I was told (I'm not a Republican afterall. *ZING*).
If she is telling these tall tales, does this mean she is just miserable in the reality of her life?

So where should I go from here?

I know cheating spouses is the prefered topic here but if anyone else has dealt with a situation like this I would like to hear of your experience.

oldskool454 wrote:
In the last few years however there have been instances of the lying causing damage to us financially, like telling me a bill is payed so she can go shopping and hope that she comes up with money to cover the bill before I find out or it gets shut off.

My liar did this too. It was one of the last lies he told me. It was a disconnection of the electric bill. He claimed he had half of the bill money but he did not.


So according to them she had lead them to believe she was a business owner and had multiple houses and was hugely sucessful etc etc. None of this is true of course, we are a single income family living in a modest house just "getting by". So the life they were told she had is what drove them to threaten to sue us since "well if she has all this money she can damn well pay us".

My liar also made himself appear to be more succesful than he was. He is nothing more than a handy man that does odd jobs but I know he made it appear like he could reconstruct bathrooms. He told clients he had special software program that he did not. He made it look like he had contacts he did not have.

When things got down to the wire he made it appear his truck broke down so he could not complete the job. The truck was not broke down.

Why you would make up a lie like that knowing some where down the road it was going to come back to bite you is beyond me.

I have had clients call the home phone complaining that he did not finish jobs. He told me those jobs were finished. After that he started blacking out the home phone number on his business cards.

The bottom line is that I don't LIKE feeling like I can't trust what my wife tells me. She is mad at me for not trusting me, and thinks that no matter what a husband is supposed to always trust his wife and believe her over anyone else, which I think is retarded and ignorant. I would be a dolt if I just blindly believed everything I was told (I'm not a Republican afterall. *ZING*).
If she is telling these tall tales, does this mean she is just miserable in the reality of her life?

So where should I go from here?

I agree that trusting blindly, especially when lies are discovered, just because someone is a wife/husband/brother/friend etc. is ignorant but it is what most of us have done. It is not easy to doubt the one you love. You want to believe and trust them.

I can not tell you why your wife has been lying anymore than I can explain why my boyfriend has lied over the last three years.

I just know that I could no longer live with it.

Where you go from here is up to you. This may be an isolated incident or it may be something that has gone on for years but you have only seen this examples more recently. I can not tell you if her life is miserable. Is your life miserable having to deal with the lies and the lack of trust?

Just take the time to read some of the other posts here and decide if you can relate to what others have said.

Dont worry this board is not only for infidelity is for relationships, period. So your question is welcomed here and trust me there are many people that struggle with this same issue everyday.

Your wife has a problem with lying. Regardless how big or small the lie, its a lie. She got herself in a pickle this time, didnt she!

She lied, over and over again to these people. She owes them money, she needs to pay it. Plain and simple. Even if the girl has a drug addiction she owes the girl money. And if your wife lies about stuff then who says this girl really has a drug addiction?

The "tall tails" you speak of are LIES! Just to be clear.