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Dealing with the fallout (1 viewing) (1) Guest
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TOPIC: Dealing with the fallout
#12742
UKSUPPORT (User)
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Gender: Female Location: London U.K Birthdate: 1963-03-14
Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 1  
She was already watching something with him on it when I came into the room,I was trying to stay out of the way so she could have sometime on her own with him and as I passed the doorway there they were sitting on the settee. I asked him why he had brought it into the house,he said he wanted to show her what had caused all the trouble this time!!!! Worrying mentality I am now seriously concerned for my little girl as he is so manipulative what else is he going to feed her shes only ten for gods sake. This is how I know he will never get better because he doesnt see that it was lying about the laptop and the broken promises of no more debt or lying. Or he does and he point blank wont face it. Thanks for your reply it really helps being on here X
 
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#12743
UKSUPPORT (User)
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Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 1  
Hi sorry, I found out because he left the house with a PC game,a memory card and our digital camera! Not difficult to work out he had an internet connection somewhere, lord knows ive had enough practice with catching him out after 12 years of him lying from the begining you see the signs immediately. Ive kept on telling myself if I kept on confronting him he would stop but nothing not even shame has stopped him.
 
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#12749
SwtSeattleGrl43 (User)
Living with a compulsive liar
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Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 0  
Hi..well they r not happy untill they hurt everyone including the kids..He didn't have to say anything to her and just let her use it..I sure hope u stick to your guns and not let him back into your home..if he wants to see your daughter then maybe meet him somewhere then he won't need to make an ass in front of her..but as we all said before they just don't care,never have and never will..I know once mine leaves he won't be bothered he'll just find another pal or g/f to lie to..at least we don't have any kids together so once he's gone he is GONE..
 
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#12751
InTheSameBoat (Visitor)

Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago  
SwtSeattleGrl43 wrote:
I just don't get the nerve of these men..I'm glad u were smart and kicked him out..u never said if he let your daughter go on the laptop? How did u find all this out when his laptop was in his truck? Kinda ironic isn't it,they can't help but,but boy they sure have money when it comes to them..I'll ask him if he has any money and he'll say no but let me tell u he never goes without his cigg..He nows walks ahead of me or will vanish until I'm done paying then he reappears..the thing is,I don't ask him for anything but to pay his share of the bills..I just don't understand how 1 person can lie and lie and never feel bad for the people they hurt by it..

Ha Ha. My liar did the "I only have two dollars left" but he would some how have enough money to meet a buddy after "work" for a beer or two and always had a new pack of smokes.

He always kept "his" money hidden. When he did have a bank account the statements that came in the mail were wisked away as soon as I left the room if I got the mail before him. I don't know how many times I tried to encourage him to create an account online for his banking but he never would. He did not want there to be a chance for me to see that his account was always overdrawn. They finally just closed it down.

Even if he did have money he never told me how much he really had. More often than not he claimed he had more than what he really had making me assume we had more money than we had and cause more financial problems.


UKSUPPORT wrote:
Hi sorry, I found out because he left the house with a PC game,a memory card and our digital camera! Not difficult to work out he had an internet connection somewhere, lord knows ive had enough practice with catching him out after 12 years of him lying from the begining you see the signs immediately. Ive kept on telling myself if I kept on confronting him he would stop but nothing not even shame has stopped him.

Mine was like this too. I called him out several times. I would say most of the time he just created another lie to explain it away. He did admit it once or twice but it never came of anything. Those lies he did admit to had to do with money. He would say he got a $500 check to start a job when the whole job was $500 not the down payment. Another good one was that a job was $500 but they decided at the last minute not to have some part of the job done so that knocked the job down to $300. Those stories repeated themselves again and again.

He also made most of his "business" calls outside or in another room so I could not hear what he was saying.

I did catch him twice in lies because customers called the home phone instead of his cell. One was a job he said he finished at least a month earlier if not longer than that. He got the money but never finished the job and the guy called up angry as hell because he wanted it done.

Another was a customer that called wanting to know if he was going to come over and work that day because he had not showed up the day before. He told me that he was working at that job all day the day before.

I would get the same empty promises that he was going to stop lying about it but he never did.

UKSUPPORT it must be hard having a child in this sort of situation. I have two children from a previous marriage but they are 20 and 18. They both dislike him and know he is a liar so he has no way to try and manipulate them or try to get their sympathy.

A mother wants to protect her child at all costs and it must be frustrating that you need to try and protect her from his lies so she does not get hurt.
 
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#12753
UKSUPPORT (User)
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Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 1  
SwtSeattleGirl43 and Inthesame boat,I cant thank you enough for posting your replies its such a relief to come on here and realise that you both know exactly what I am going through, (I realise there is a time difference me being in London)your posts of support have kept me strong over this last week,I feel differently this time and will not cave in I have never had support like this before,and have felt embarassed to confide in friends its been very lonely. SwtSeattleGirl43 and Inthesameboat please feel free to ask me anything if feel it moght help X. I will make sure my daughter is affected as little as possible,its weird as I have two older boys from my marriage ones 23 the other 20 and they dont like my lying ex either and have just tollerated him for my mine and thier sisters sake. I also have two brothers who are very protective.
 
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#12754
UKSUPPORT (User)
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Re:Dealing with the fallout 1 Month, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 1  
I also know he will move on quickly I feel sorry for the next poor sucker when the honeymoon periods over,although he will probably start lying about who he is and what hes done and does from the outset to get them interested as when you strip it all away he aint all that!
 
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