POed:

I think that would work for the younger facebook and myspace crowd. For those of us in the more middle aged group, I doubt that would really help. But I will say at my income level, if I want to, I can easily afford a PI.

Actually what that one touches on is the issue of privacy. What I have seen from most men is that they seriously value their privacy. In the case of a manipultor; it's obvious why; but for normal guys that also holds true. The downfall to some sort of open billboard is that it would piss of the good and the bad guys.

I do like the concept though.

Reading back through older postings here. I am surprised at how few people ever talk to the other even when they know who the other is. Anyone in the know out there care to say what that is about people the keeps them from that step?

My stbx and I are both middle aged. He uses facebook, I don't. He gets his fix there,one of many places I'm sure. There is a site called dontdatehimgirl.com and there were attempts to sue the owners of the site but defamation of character is very hard to prove, the women post anonymously and the owners of the site are not legally responsible for what someone else says. Actually it was the attorney's wife who attempted to suethat had posted about him! Anywho my concept is a little different, instead of posting about a cheater after they've been caught and the relationship is over why not get some validation of suspicions while still involved? Some of us never get that validation and are just left knowing something is wrong but can't get the proof. Most of us can't afford a p.i. I talked to one who told me his minimum fee is $1200. If this were to work maybe the women could meet up and confront the cheater jointly! He,he,he Just bouncing around ideas...

I forgot to address the issue of communicating with the other woman. I never got confirmation on who the other woman/women was. I only found the signs/evidence.I had my suspicions and I just assumed she knew about me and would have denied their involvement, that they were "just friends." She would have told him about my attempts to confirm my suspicions and he would have just used it against me. Deny and twist, a cheaters favorite dance. The site I am thinnking of starting would provide a place to confirm and reveal the lies they tell.
To clarify something in my last post...the attorney's wife posted about him and he attempted to sue dontdatehimgirl.com. The way I worded it sounded like she attempted to sue.

POed:

One comment which should almost be the start of a new thread. Is that the trend? My guy that I know has an issue with fidelity plays with the alternate life on-line. Basically him but single. Is there a correlation between cheating and the time on-line with the middle aged guys? I know for me; my on-line time is normally minimal. I am on-line at work all day, but that is just work. At home I normally am too busy with daily tasks and keeping up the house or trying to get in some exercise to be off chatting up strangers. I guess I fall into the category of (just doesn't get it).

I like the thought for your site, but the analyst in me sees the impracticality. Basically the two sides would need to both be wondering for that to ever line up. And we both know that in the world of cheaters, one side is usually fallowing along blindly and is not going to have a clue.

POed wrote:
Jen--About 2-3 months into the relationship with my stbx bf I asked him if we were in a committed relationship. He of course said yes. Now several times within the last six months after finding something that could indicate he was cheating and sometimes a fight, I asked him if he wanted to see or date other women. Again of course he said no. Our communication was very clear.From him, honest was another matter. As far as comparing notes with the other women I suspected he was cheating with, I WAS VERY TEMPTED but because I wasn't sure exactly who I didn't attempt it. Now that it's ending I would like to try, but how? At this point it wouldn't make much difference anyhow but while we were still together it would have been great to have my suspicions validated. Why don't we start a website called What He Tells Me? Women could put their bf's name and of course what he tells them is the status of their relationship.What a great way to expose a cheater! Don't know how but I'm gonna look into it and work on the details. What'da ya think of my idea? Any suggestions?



POed that is a WONDERFUL IDEA!!! Definitely look into it! Keep me posted!

Thats how the guys that are busted are going to look when this website is open! LOL!

Everyone puts the blame on the other women because they dont want to blame there man. Isnt that right? Its easier to blame the girl rather than thinking that your husband/boyfriend could ever really do something like that.

Dont get me wrong I have never cheated and I dont want to so I am not the other women, I am a happily married women. But everyone puts all the blame on the outside party rather than on the person that actually hurt you.

Think about it, if he is filling her head with all the lovey dovey stuff she is going to believe him. She wants to believe it because maybe she has feelings for him to. Men lie about there real situation so they can get what they want and the women is the sucker that gets stuck in the middle. I do agree that they should stay away from taken men but if the man is telling her that he isnt happy what is she suppose to do.

I believe that the man is more at fault for this stuff rather than the women. He is the one that strayed away from his relationship and is betraying his partner. She is the one that is hopeful to be able to have the man that she wants. I dont think its right at all but the cheater needs to take more responsability.

the person that cheats is the one to blame!

By the way, no matter what people say even if someone is unhappy in a relationship that is no reason to cheat.