Yep! That was true actually ! But worse to come. After the long and hurtful email I sent him he sent one back saying he wants to talk and I should give hima "time" because he has tried calling me and I don't pick up. Now I know that's not true as he has all my numbers but now I'm wondering whether to respond to the email or no ?

When it comes to deciding what I should do this guy makes me feel like I'm lacking the intelligence to work it out and plus I'm such a fool remember what happened to me last time ! I 'm not doing anything about the email today and then perhaps some golden nugget of advice will come my way or I could get some common sense .

Thanks for all the help guys anyway .

Ok the way I see it he was suppose to talk to you last week and didnt follow through so why should you give him anymore of your time.

He has made no effort of his own to talk to you so dont make time for him. You made time for him friday and he failed you once again. You over came all of the feelings when you guys first broke up dont make yourself keep reliving it.

Forget it! If he really wanted to talk to you then he would have followed through last week. He is stringing you along just to see if he has control of you still. Dont give him the control.

I said last week to just see what he had to say well that is all different now since he did that to you. I would either ignore his email or just write back and say you had your chance last week and now I am done!

Dont let him keep doing this to you. Just the thought of talking to him caused you to remember everything all over again so dont keep tormenting yourself with this & just move on. He has shown that he is no good. He broke up with you by a letter, he couldnt even face you so why do you have to?

I am telling you, he burned you when you broke up and he burned you again last week. Let him go & take back the control of your life.

Serena,
Is it possible that him telling you that he wants to talk is just another way for him to have control?
His actions tell me that he doesn't really care about YOU, but maybe it feeds into a controlling personality to keep you waiting around for a call...
What do you think?

Guys I cannot thank you enough . I really needed some sense knocking into me . Of course it's all so clear now . Remember how he would criticise and complain and dictate to me all the time ? That's exactly what he's doing all over again. I was a little annoyed so I tried calling him at work : something he has always forbidden me to do . Literally like it was a sin or something! But all the other guys at work use to get calls all the time from their GF. and mothers and family anyway we now why he didn't want me calling there but I did. He answered the phone and I said hello and he put the phone down. It was the wieredest thing ever. He sounded so angry and bitter and not like himself at all. He sounded a litttle scary . He didn't say I can't talk to you right now or something a normal person might say just slammed that phone down after listening to my sunny hello! It was strange . This man only seems to be able to communicate through emails now or silences . Anyway instead of feeling all weak and vulnerable like I use to and did the other day I felt relieved that I wasn't part of his wierd head messing . It still puzzles me though why he bothers . It's just strange and a little creepy now.

Time to move on . I would however, definitely like to thank each and every one of you for bothering to care, bothering to give me really helpful advice and being there at this time . It means such a lot to know that I can share these thoughts with others and I'm not alone and in this life we could all do with more smiles and less tears. You guys are all blessed and deserve the very best life ahs to offer and I mean that from my heart.

And no I won't go and call !
Hugs to all of you.
Serena

I never called ! But he called me . Luckily , at the time I was packing my bags and missed it . He is going to call tomorrow despite me telling him in that email that it's okay we should just accept our idfferences and go our seperate ways .

Any ideas WHY he is bothering ? He has hurt me terribly in the past and just recently and as you guys said he had the chance to say what he wanted to and didn't even break up with me face to face . Do I owe this guy any more of my time ?

It's really wierd .

You guys are such intutive posters and have been remarkably insightful into this man's mind . Do you think he's bored and playing mind games again ? What does everyone think ? Why the hell is he continuously playing with my feelings ?

Any ideas gladly appreciated .

I think he rang work and found out I was leaving tomorrow and that's why he wants to call tomorrow early morning . What to do now ?

Either he wants to talk to you because he feels he made a mistake or because he wants to make sure that you are still waiting in the wings, so to speak.

This is really up to you. Are you mentally ready to talk to him? Can you handle whatever he dishes out? What if he says he wants you back, are you strong enough to say no?

I would just make sure that you are prepaired for whatever he may say. Just keep reminding yourself of why you guys broke up in the first place, hopefully it will give you the strenght to say no.

From what you have said it seems like you havent really gotten over him and so for that reason maybe you should just "miss" his call tomorrow to. He should have talked to you when he wanted to break up instead of leaving you a letter. He also should have talk to you last week when you agreed to do it, but he didnt.

I would do it on your terms, when your ready. Dont give him any more control then he already has. let him figure it out, let him figure out that you have taken back the control & if he wants to talk to you then he has to work for it. Let him work, dont just hand everything to him.

If you want to talk to him then do it just make sure that you dont fall back into anymore of his traps. He is making sure to stick his nose right in front of you, to make sure that you havent forgotten about him. Remember he had someone else move in when you left so whats he going to do, leave her a note to move out and then ask you to move back in? Would you really want to do that? Because you know that in 6 months he would leave you another note.

Rememeber, if you learn from past mistakes you can avoid further mistakes. If you ignore lifes lessons, history will repeat itself.

Becareful with whatever you do. If you need to talk you know that we are here for you.

have a good trip.