My boyfriend and i have been together for over two years. He would never do anything to hurt me and he would always consider my feelings. Lately, hes been lying. His excuse for lying to me is because if he had told me the truth, i would of been mad and he says he doesnt want to deal with that. Last night for example we were at a party with a few girls and his best friend. It was really fun and i eventually went home before them. He said that he was going back to his friends house and then going to work in the morning. This morning he had told me that they stayed a couple more hours after i left and then went back to his friends house to sleep the rest of the night. I was talking to his friend tonight and he randomly mentioned how after the party they went to the girls house with them and stayed the night there. He said they didnt sleep at all and my boyfriend left in the morning to go to work. This is the most recent time he has lied to me. I found a girls number in his bag when putting away his wallet and her name was Sarah. I know a Sarah and he said it was just her and she gave it to him so they could hang out. I am a jealous person so this kind of hurt me but i didnt say much about it. He has also lied to me about hanging out with other girls and talking to them on the phone. Whenever i confront him he just always says that he doesnt tell me because i will get mad. He doesnt know what my reaction will be because he has never told me what hes actually done hes always lied. Also, when i confront him he tries to avoid the conversation. He gets angry easily and this is a problem in its own. I am pretty sensitive and he doesnt seem to understand that. I tell him hes hurting me and he just gets frustrated and mad at me. I dont know what to do. I truly love him or atleast i love everything else besides his temper and his lies. I have always been honest with him and i just want the same thing in return. Since hes secretly hanging out with other girls, does this mean that hes loosing interest in me? This is killing me inside and i just wish that i could find a way for him to stop lying. Any advice? Thanks.

Hi!
I dont think you will like what I have to say but kick him to the curb! You dont need this. I dont care how young OR old you are. Going back to anothers girls house and claiming to have stayed up all night & DOING WHAT? Playing cards?? I dont think so! and any man that doesnt want to talk about what is bothering you is very disrepectful and doesnt care about you. He sounds very immature (oops, sp)I am 42 years old and with my past experiance is that any man that "doesnt want to deal with it", is cheating. You also found a girls number? I'm sorry, with the right "MAN", you would not be dealing with this and he would of went home with you and you will not find any numbers. Please put your foot down and take control about how YOU want to be treated. I'm not going to say it will be easy. Its not and i speak from experiance,. The guy i was dating for almost 1 year was bonking his "older employee the entire time. I feel like crap but for once, i put my foot down and broke my patterns for when i was in my 20's. (i didnt want to repeat)I told him tht i was a diamond and i will not pretent and make myself, (lower)pretent,IGNOR just to be with him. I DESERVE BETTER I told him. Does it hurt? HELL YES and he didnt like it that i wasnt returning his calls so finially he said that I should call him if i want to speak with him. YA!!Again, men, people, will treat you ONLY what you allow them too. I dont allow anymore and boy, it feels great! Yes I am still upset and yes he is still bonking her. Did I get a sorry, no. He said sorry for "what i thought happened" Because he doesnt want to talk about it, deal with it or possibly look himself in the mirror and guess what, i got a chance to talk to her and she did indeed admit it.Three months prior to me, he was seeing her. SHe had no clue about me but my gut instinks where right on target!Guess what, SHE believed his lies and continues to bonk him. SOrry for this long semi story but do you see my point!
Good luck and sorry about my spelling!
DIane

He lies to you because he is guilty. He knows that sleeping at a girls house, calling girls, hanging out with girls is all wrong. he knows that he wouldnt want you to do that so he lies to you to cover his butt.

You need to talk to him about this and if he is unwilling to change then you will no doubt have a horrible life. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that you dont trust, with someone that your not sure who he is with?

By the way when you love someone you have to love ALL of them, the good, bad and even the ugly side. Believe me my husband has some ugly sides but I love him, ALL of him, even the bad stuff.

Maybe you should really do some soul searching and make sure that this is what you want for the rest of your life. To live with someone that always lies to you and it seems to always be about other girls, why is that?

I dont want to be negative because everyones answer is to always leave but I know its harder than that. You have to talk to him and let him know that him hanging out with other women is inappropriate and disrespectful to you. I dont know how your doing it because if I knew that my husband stayed at another girls house I would be flipping out and he would be kissing my ass!

Good luck

Thanks, I really appreciate your advice Im pretty sure my boyfriend is not cheating. He seems like hes too good for that but i guess i can never know for sure whats going on if he is lying to me. So far, he has said no more lies that I know of but i know that if he does, I wont be able to be with him anymore because all these lies hurt. Thanks again,
Alecia.