My boyfriend and I have lived together for five years. A couple of years into our relationship I discovered (through our internet history) that he frequently visited a match-making website. I looked on the site and found his active profile. When I confronted him about it, he (of course) blamed it on me. He said when I make him mad, he looked at it. I asked him if he had met anyone, and he said he was "chatting" with a woman but he just wanted to be friends. I asked him if he told her he lived with his girlfriend, and he said he had not. At that time I told him I wanted to be in a relationship with him, but I wanted to be the only woman in the relationship. I guess I had hoped he stopped.

Fast forward three years . . . Out of curiosity, I looked again on the website and found he still has an active profile (with recent activity) on the website. I have not said anything to him, yet. Should I confront him again? Should I ignore it, as I have been, as long as it does not go beyond "chatting" (but how will I know if/when that happens)?

I do feel like he is cheating on me. I would like to think if he did not really want to be with me, that he would break up with me. I guess I do not know how to approach him on what this is doing to our relationship and to me. Maybe he is just trying to get a "thrill" from having a secret friendship, but it is really hurting me. Despite all of this I do love him, but I do not want to be used.

Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I wouldnt just ignore it, thats for sure. I think that I would hold onto the info and start doing some more digging. If you find something else after looking through his phone, credit cards, bank statements, start logging times that he isnt home, after doing all of that If you find something then I would confront him on it. If you dont find anything else its up to you if you want to say anything. The best part is that if you dont find anything else just the website then you know you have a good chance that he is just chatting.

I am not saying that chatting is ok because I would be jealous but at least you can have a piece of mind that he might be keeping his pants on.

I would do my research first and then make sure that you confront him at the right time. Let him know that you know for sure that he is having relationships with other women online. He will undoubtly deny it but you know what you have found. If he didnt stop 3 years ago I doubt that he will stop now.

I wish you all the luck, but there is no easy answer to a situation like this.

This is what I think. He is having a relationship with someone other than you for what ever reason. It is hard to define if it is exactly cheating. Mine says having lunch with the same woman for ten years at least three times a week and going to her home at least one day a week was not cheating. I say oh yes it is. She broke it off once I found out - how did I find out - he sort of told me and I then left him and went back to him. I had suspected something was going on, and asked him numerous times if something was going on. He always denied it. Well, she broke it off because I didn't approve of her!! Such drama. It was like being back in sixth grade. I don't have time for this stuff - neither do you - move on. You are worth so much more.