Hi I sympathise with your emotions but what your'e really feeling is BITTER. You're feeling hurt that this man has failed to deliver what he promised a cosy new life with you and him : soul mates forever in the promised land .

This man is MARRIED he put that ring on his wife's finger and he USED you and all you can now do is face up to the gruesome truth: 1) He never loved you not like he did his wife . 2) He used you to have some fun .3) He 's a lying Coward.

Once you can see this man for what he is and not some tortured angst ridden love romeo you will be able to finally move on with your life . You want to tell her because you're upset and jealous that he chose her over you. Why else would it matter? It's over don't demean yourself to that level and be a source of his amusement. Take the hint the email account is closed the phones aren't answered . Why torture yourself so much . You even say that he is doing what he thinks is best and SETTLING for that life . No the man is someone of his own free will. He chose her not you and you HAVE to accept that.

I would not say don't ever get involved with this person or that person because love is not like that chemistry works in different ways and I don't think it's fair for people to judge you and what you did . You believed you were in love but there are consequences of hooking up with married men and this is an all too familar story.

You seem completly in his power still. He's fed you all these lies and half truths about what a man he's being taking the High Road . Yeah right, it would take much more courage and much more love to choose you over his family and he wasn't willing to FIGHT for you he just let you go . That is a spineless, worthless threow away kind of love . Please stop deluding yourself that he loved you in the first place if he really had nay feelings for you he would not have spun you these tall tales and would have not subjected you to the relationship he would have made his own sacrifice .

Stop thinking about what might have been it never was going to be and he would only have disappointed you further on down the line .

He may think you're not worth it but you owe yourself much more and you DESERVE better.

Next time think before you act.
You will be okay and you will GET over him if you just let yourself walk on by .

Good Luck

Your words are wise. Thank you so much for answering and giving me your point of view. It's getting better on my end, I don't cry as much and am not as depressed. As time goes by I see more clearly. I know in my heart that my feelings were true and I will forever think of him and what could have been. I still miss him so very much. He was so torn between right and wrong and I do give him some credit for staying with his wife and trying to make things work. I think if they do work it out he will spend every day for the rest of his life making it up to her. I haven't spoken to him for awhile so I'm not sure what's going on with them. I wonder but also know that if their marriage does end because of this I don't want him to run back to me, maybe someday when I'm not a rebound and enough time has gone by that I know his reasons for contacting me aren't to make himself feel better. Those that are meant to be will be, right? For now, no men for me. Just working on me for a bit. I don't have anything to give anyone right now - still in mourning, still empty. Someday though I will be ready.

you´re so deluded i fell sorry for both u and the wife..MEN LIE SWEETIE,WAKE UP!IF HE TOLD U HE LOVED U,HE PROBABLY TOLD HIS WIFE HE SAME,PROBABLY TOLD HER U MEANT NOTHING..

That's why so many married men have affairs, because they are incredible liars and know that all they have to do is fill a lonely woman's head with false promises and lies about true love. She ends up adoring him and thinking she has fallen head over heals with some wonderful man, all the while thinking he would never lie to HER! Why?

I can see your pain. I can see the pain in all the woman on "other woman" sites that think their married man is so in love with her, that he is waiting for just the right moment to leave his wife, that he will be with her forever. What I can't understand is why these ow think their pain of waiting for the right moment to destroy a family is worse than the betrayed wife who knows nothing of her existence.

Forget the "she doesn't seem to care" garbage. You don't know what is going on in their home. You don't know what lies he has filled her head with and because she loves him and has committed to him, wants to much to trust that what he says is true.

If he comes back to you, it's because he thinks he can get away with it again, not because his love just can't keep him away (although he will tell you that.) It's easy, you'll lap it up. Damn, why don't you women learn?

Crushed, I think you should tell her, but not for reasons of validating your anger, but so that the wife knows the truth. The whole truth. I know...I've been in this situation for over a year, thinking I was being told the truth, believeing (or atleast trying to believe) the truth as I was being told about the affair(s). Only to find out in a very crushing way that I was STILL being lied to. I put myself out on the limb, chose to forigve and repair and heal only to find out it was a complete waste of my time and heart. S0, coming from the wife I would say I would want someone to come forward and tell me the entire truth because for me I cannot live in a life where I have no way of trusting what the liar has told me. The only thing I ever wanted from this entire nightmere I've lived in is to know the truth. Somehow that makes me feel safe...to know the truth...because then you can try to rebuild trust. Not in the liar I don't mean, but trust in general. So, coming from the party on the deceiving end, I would want to know ALL of it. M

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

I would say tell her, but do it so you dont look like your taking revenge so she is more accepting to the knowledge of it rather then it looks like your trying to hurt the mans she loves but just dont know about.