Hi ,I need some advice . I fell in love with and have been dating a man for 5 years . There is an age difference between us of 5 years he is 29 and I am 34.

I recently met some of my old college friends and although he looks older and acts older he doesn't have what they do right now : own place , great car . Neither do I for various reasons that would take too long to go into.

He has always treated me as if I were the younger one in the relationship. Me and one of my old college friends started talking and he said that he always thought I would end up with someone really amazing and was suprised at who I was with . I was a little startled and hurt by the comments . He also said that I had lost my shine and I had no get and up go. We got talking until late then I left . He called me a few times and wants to meet up . He says I deserve better and I'm in a messed up relationship that's going nowhere. He has a sports car and is a really smart doctor all the things a girl could dream of . I feel torn and wonder if I should give up on my current relationship. I have my own job but it's not what I thought I'd be doing and I feel like I'm living only for the moment . My BF doesn't even know I'm older than him we joke about it sometimes when people ask me for ID in clubs and bars ( I look really young - it's wierd ) and I just feel we're growing apart as he gets on with creating a career shouldn't I be playing a bigger role in his life ? Should I fess up that I 'm older and would this affect the way he thinks of me ?
Do I go out with my old college friend ? My college friend told me that my current BF would freak out if he knew I was older but I don't know to bring it up . One of my girlfriends told me that if my BF knew it sholdn't make any difference - any one know anything I'd appreciate a response .

I wouldn't care how old my GF was and if that's really a problem are you with the right guy in the first place ? Seriously who cares about a few years here and there ? You're being ided in clubs you kind of look young what are you so worried about ? Why can't you be open with this guy . I don't think the age is a worry but it's the fact you find it difficult telling him as if he's some kind of monster . what's he gonna do leave you ? If he does just cos of that he's in for a lot of heartache. Women lie about all kinds of stuff their age, their jobs and who they've dated . This is a minor thing don't stress it. If he can't be supportive over a simple thing like that how's the next 5 years gonna look ? He's the one who should be stressing he needs to show you some emotional support so you don't feel afraid of talking to him .

It will be okay .

What's puzzling is why you or him would consider this such a huge issue . So you're older it's not like your 10/20 years older . Even if you were like 10 years older I'm sure people figure it out . Look at Demie and Ashton or Madonna and Guy whatever , the point is why would you feel so scared about telling him this ? Is it that he's made you feel like you're not as good as he is or as important .

If you have no self worth then other people are going to treat you as if you have none . You should be asking yourself why are you not comfortable telling him rather than if you should tell him.

Lots of relationships work where the woman is older than the man it's just chemistry not math .

Good luck tell him if you want to but you should ask yourself if you need to and why you feel sacred of doing so in the first place . He's only a guy and has flaws and insecurities just like all of us .

Yep ! I dated a younger guy for 3 years and then I told him I was a little bit, okay lots of months older and he FREAKED out for a while then it was okay ! Sorry but it is kind of funny there are people on here with such huge problems and you 're worried about your guy 's reaction to your age ! So long as you're happy with each other what's the problem . All kinds of people from all over the world and all different ages are getting hooked up as we speak 20 year olds are dating 40yr olds and that's life.

If he can't handle that what's going to happen when you tell him something really important like you're pregnant !
Take a chill pill hon it 's not earth shattering news .
Why would he have a negative reaction anyway ? sometimes older/ younger couples compliment one another .

Be brave and tell him tonight let me know how it works out for you! Go on do it .

You age doesnt consern me what bothers me about your post is that you are considering dumping your current boyfriend because he doesnt have a sports car. Have you ever thought that sometimes it doesnt matter what the guy can offer you financially as much as it matters what he can offer you emotionally.
To me you sound a little materialistic and for that reason maybe your boyfriend is better off without you.

Can you guys believe it ? He totally went freak out on me . I said it wasn't about math it was about "chemistry" like someone told me to but he's in lock down now and wants me to leave the apartment . He says he doesn't want to ever see me again . You know I kind of am smiling a little inside as he doesn't really have the emotional depth or maturity to handle such a minor issue like that and I kind of knew it if I'm being really honest but didn't want to face it ! I mean it's not like I was unfaithful or am a substance abuser or have other more profound issues no offence to anyone who suffers with any of these problems I just wanted to put this in perspective. So here I am now alone without him and relocating . Wow life's great at times! Does anyone think I should bother to get in touch with him or no ? Just cheapen myself right ? Does anyone think like him and if so can you explain why as I am having a hard time dealing with a break up over a few years age gap !

I do want to thank you guys especially the guys out there who didn't think I was a washed out has been ! It does hurt your ego a little when someone thinks that for no other reason than your age !
Makes me wonder how other women see this and if any of you ahve ever been in a similar situation. As for the person who posted that nothing bad would happen well it did but maybe something good will come out of it eventually!

Any more ideas and thoughts are welcome regardless.
Peace