One thing that I can tell you, is that although it is horrible to be lied to/decieved, it is also probably VERY scary for the person who did the lying to be depended on in ways they can't measure up to. I was SO AFRAID of my ex husband abandoning me that I became ultra needy, questioning, clingy, and compulsive about knowing where I stood with him. I lost myself. I was NOT the same woman I was when he met me. I became pathetic and would do anything for him not to leave me. It becomes a terrible catch 22. They lie, we freak out, they lie again, we freak out worse to the point where they freak out and get too scared of our need for them. Then alas, what we feared the most, actaully happens. Maybe if we had just let things be and remained our true strong selves, the other person wouldnt have had as much need to lie, or feel the need to leave. If this man really wants to be with you, you have to be stong enough to let him go, and see what he does...It's like that little ditty about the bird..If you love someone set them free...Sorry to ramble

I think the one thing I could say is that no one is entitled to be forgiven if they have hurt someone and when a person ends up destroying another person's social esteem and crushing their personality it is because that person can.

It is so God awful to be lonely you think about all the stuff you did togther and what stuff you may have wanted to do . You think about the plans you were making and it all seems so pointless and shallow but look at you . You travelled all the way to the US you left that safety net of family and friends you took risks YOU it was all you not him and that takes, courage and character and dare I say it but cahones!

You don't need another person's validation to be you. He hurt you so it's time for you time now time for you to heal , focus get up and start living. I have seen some of your posts on here and they are insightful, kind and caring so what if you are not ready to forgive and forget these emotions will take time to realise once you get your life back on track and you understand that you gave up some of you to be with him .

Do not ever worry about being alone because that is supremely better than being in a loveless relationship or one that is based on deception and deceit .

Time to start living again.

Take Care