I caught my pathological lying boyfriend with OW. I was in shock and didn't say much when I found them together, just asked some questions but got no straight answers (of course!). Now it's been 6 wks and I have seen him 1x in order to get my things back from him. I just can't seem to move on though-Today I did a NO NO when I called OW and told her things about EX boyfriend....things like hes a pathological liar, hes an alcoholic with NO MONEY (even though he acts like he does), he lies about EVERYTHING. I thought it would make me feel better but it really didn't I wanted revenge and of course she didn't seem too upset and told me she would think about the things I said-I offered my cell # if she wanted to talk some more, she told me if she needed it, he would give it to her (yeah right!!). I know she did me a favor by taking him but why did I have to call her??? I am beating myself up over this because I should have let things go....I now I feel like he's telling her what a psycho I am (even though I was very calm when I talked to her).....I just want him to feel the PAIN I am feeling but I'm not sure he ever will??? Pathological liars usually just move onto the next victim. Who else has made this mistake and how did you deal?

What you did was not such a terrible thing. If she was smart she would listen to you, but like most of us she's blind. I guarantee she will find out in time and then she will be kicking herself for not listening to you. You tried to spare her. If you did it in the hopes of her leaving him and him getting hurt then that was not very realistic. I had several women warn me about my ex. but did I listen, no and they were right. Believe me she did you a favor by taking him off of your hands but now you need to practice restraint and don't contact her again. At least you caught him, there are so many of us here that never do that and wish we could. Now you know exactly what a creep he was and you deserve better.

Forget about this man who has caused you hurt. Do not allow him to continue to interrupt your life. Allow yourself to feel the pain, but do not let it ruin your future endeavors.

You've learned firsthand what you no longer are willing to put up with in a relationship. You also realize that this is a blessing in disguise, and I congratulate you for that.

Continue living your life to the fullest, and do not allow this person to affect anything else in your life, except maybe a story or two about how you once dated a liar.

It is clear from your post that you are still hurting even though you have been broken up with guy for a few weeks.

My thought would be to focus on yourself. Focus on how you can cope and care for yourself. Focus on rebuilding "you" without a companion. You will be amazed at how strong you can feel when you are able to stand on your own two feet. You will look back at this time in your life and laugh...

Believe me, I know that it is a LOT easier said than done. However, this guy is not trying to get back into your life, so you just need to keep telling yourself that there is no use in holding on to any aspect of him. He is gone, for whatever reason - and the anger that you harbor and the feelings of revenge that you feel, are only hurting you.

Try not to beat yourself up over the call to that girl. When we are blinded by love (or whatever) we do some crazy and embarrassing things. None of it is really explainable - but, we just need to remember that we are human and try to learn from the experience. If nothing else, you can chalk it up to do you doing your karmic duty to warn other women of a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Wish you all the best,
AILA