My wife and I have been married for 10yrs. and dated in high school and we have always been faithful but some thing happened a couple months ago that has me concerned the hospital where she works will somrtimes have what they call a happy hour so co workers can get together for drinks (I have never been asked to go)the dept. she works in is mostly female but there are a couple men one of them she has worked with for at least 8yrs.she went to this happy hour with a female friend and is always home buy 11 or 12 no later but this night she came home around 3am she didnt say very much but she was very drunk she took a shower and went to bed while she was in the shower I was picking up her clothes and without getting to graphic Ill say an article of clothing was wet but why I could not tell the next mourning she was up early and made a big breakfast and I asked no questions later i found out her friend had left early and she told me she got a ride from guy who i dont even think was there the guy I think gave her aride is some she talks about but I have never talk to he sees me around but has never said anything to me since that night there has been a couple more happy hours but she will not go and this guys name has not mentioned could she be cheating on me with him, are cowoker affairs common I work in a all male setting (always have) whats the best way to find out if shes lying to me that nothing is going on (I finnaly came out and asked)any adviced would be great its eating me up.

Asking her is not going to get you the honest truth. If she has or is cheating she wont tell you no matter how you ask. You need to just watch her behaviors, routins, phone, bank account, ect. The only thing you can do at this point is to keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. If she thinks that you are catching on to her she will cover her tracks much better and you wont be able to find out anything.

You said you have seen this other guy around but he never talks to you, right? Why dont you go talk to him, not about that, just general conversation and just see if you notice any wierd behavior on his part. Just remember sometimes when we believe something to be true we can create things in our head that are not really there. So just keep an open mind when you talk to him.

Good luck

never underestimate the power of denial. keep your eyes very open. read some stuff on the signs of a cheater. beware however. you might not like what you find out.

I just discovered my wife had herself a boyufriend, an ex-colleague from work (she quit her job back in January 4th, 08). I had to find out thru her email, chat (MSN messenger), cell phone bills, etc...

To this day she still hasn't confessed the truth about the whole thing. If you can't find the truth on your own, forget about it. If you really doubt, there is something fishy going on, I can assure you.

I told my wife once (last year, when she was still working and already was involved with the coward) that I thought she was capable of cheating on my because of her behaviour towards me: the usual symptoms.

Try to discover it yourself, buy spy software (keylogger), try to access her cell phone or phone records, or simply start accepting your relationship is over and work to get out of it.

I am working to leave her right now, as I believe she will never be honest with me ever again.

same story as everyone else... they will never tell you the truth. I got some versions of the truth but they were lies. There were lies about lies. I had to be very sneaky and patient to find out.

by the way though, womens underwear is often kind of sticky and yucky. just so you guys know. wet underwear can be a natural thing. sorry to be a bit gross just trying to help.

personally, since she was only out late once i think she and this guy probably just got a bit silly that night and now everyone is embarrased. if she isn't a cheat like the liers the rest of us are stuck with she'll tell you the whole sordid and embarrasing story. They probably just flirted too much.

watch for the signs though. my guy only took two weeks to go from being madly in love with me to deliberately meeting with and kissing someone else.

Might have been a drunken fling, and now there are regrets, keep quiet about it her and see if she starts to distance herself from you, if so they might have a realtionship, if you find she does'nt then it might have been a one nighter that that she regrets but wont ever tell you about and your best bet would be to go with her when she drinks, and if she has'nt gone back to happy hour she's probally embarresed and affraid of the other guy and is trying to distance herself from him.