I'm new here and I need some input. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. We don't live together. He has always lived alone. There have been many signs in the past he cheated such as finding tampons under his bathroom sink. He claimed they were from past relationships,threw them away then a few months later I found more in the guest bathroom that had previosly not been there and he doesn't have any local female relatives, finding condoms in his overnight bag long after we stopped using them, finding something hidden in his nightstand called a shield(some birth control device), finding a nude picture of him in an email he sent to some woman he claimed knew in highschool,and along with porn pictures on his computer there were exposed pictures of some women he had been with. Now he has certain times during the week I don't hear from him, he recently joined facebook and has alot of new female friends, I found a cell phone that didn't appear to work, he claimed it was an old phone,and a total lack of interest in sex but is still affectionate, he keeps changing his work schedule and works with his ex. and his friends act odd when I'm around. I obviously have spied on him in the past and had a few friends help and never found something that he couldn't explain away, whatever I found he claimed was from his past relationships. I've admitted to spying and know I'm insecure so of course he feeds off of that and has made me out to be the crazy one. My gut is telling me again that something is wrong. I'm thinking about hiring a p.i. What do you think I should do? I don't have alot of money but I can't stand not knowing the truth.

You probably don't need to hire a PI (I am a PI student). I think you have pretty much figured him out. If you can get a PI to take the case, he or she will follow your boyfriend and conduct surveillance. You, or someone you know, could do the same thing.

Trust your gut. I think you are right on the money with your suspicions. Usually by the time you suspect he's cheating he is. And usually they will turn it around to make you seem like the bad guy for even suspecting or raising questions.

Thanks b4ucommit--The problem with me or one of my friends following him and watching him is he knows all of my friends cars and I've done it before and admitted it to him like a fool. Also it's impossible to watch the front door(his only entrance) of his condo because there is only assigned resident parking spaces in front or the fire lane. There is an enclosed grassy area in front of the parking but only grounds maintenance go there. I've thought about renting a car but it would have to have very dark tinted windows especially the front windshield. Do you know of a company I can rent a car from that has dark tinted windows? I think since he knows I could pop up any time at his place, he goes to her place. I've even thought about hiring a p.i. student because maybe they wouldn't cost as much. Any suggestions?

I'm not sure what state you are in and the laws very by state. PI students are not suppose to work direct with clients until they are fully licensed PIs. That being said, I'm sure there are some out there that don't care and would take the case for the money. Expect to pay a PI student $25 an hour or more.

Licensed PIs are often reluctant to take these cases when clients are not represented by legal counsel. There's too big a risk that, given the emotional nature of the case, that someone could receive negative information and lose control and hurt someone. Once again, that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if you could find a PI to work the case regardless of whether or not you are represented by an attorney.

I do not know of any auto rental establishments that can offer tinted windows, but they probably exist too. Probably your best bet is to call a few PIs and see what they can offer. Be clear that you only need surveillance and cap the budget so that they don't charge more than you can afford.

I hope this helps. People can become very angry if they know someone is snooping around into their affairs so I'd be very cautious.