I am so sorry to hear you are so desperate and defeated that you would/can settle to live in a relationship like hell because it is easier than a financial struggle. Stuff, belongings, jewelry, cars, are just things...stuff. You can loose them all in an instant by fire, theft, etc...but the quality of your life, your inner happiness, no one can take that away from you...you control ownership of that.

I feel so helpless to come up with words of encouragement when people say they are financially unable to leave a destructive/unhealthy relationship because it would be too difficult. It is NOT difficult. I have done it...twice. Once with 3 small children in tow and only a couple bags of clothing to take with us. Absolutely no family support (because they don't exist) and no outside financial support. I am 54 years old now and would leave in a heartbeat with nothing more than the clothes on my back if I was unhappy. I'd leave my prized posessions behind, as I have done before, to have peace, security and safety. No doubt in my mind.

I am not saying live in a cardboard box and be happy (although some probably can and do), but what I am saying is you can build your own safe fortress to call home and have a life that you are the guardian of. It is not difficult nor impossible...it is however a challenge AND worth every effort to obtain. When I hear people say it is too difficult or impossible to me it sounds like complete defeat and that is so, so sad and I don't know the words to lift you up from that other than to say...DON'T SETTLE. You have one chance to do this life the way you want it...don't trade it in for financial comfort because you can loose those prized posessions in a blink of an eye anyway and you will still be living an unhappy life. My best wishes and hopes for you. M

We are living the same life, my husband of 15 years has had another affair but, this time he found a woman with a crazy husband. This has been a week now dealing with this and I'm very hurt and angry over his STUPID WAYS, I'm so tired of hearing his excuses and saying that he will do better. We have 2 children that adore him and he has 1 year left of his Military career, I want to believe he can change but, I'm sure he can't, if he could he would have by now. I'm taking things day by day but, living on a military base and the husband of the other woman telling everyone what has happened is getting the best of me. This is his problem but, it's killing me to deal with the fallout, I want both of the cheaters to feel what I feel the pain and the confusion but, I know I'm a better person by not doing anything to them, I love my children and they need me and I would never want to be away from them. So I keep praying for inner peace and I try to rely on my love of my children, I wish you and anyone who has gone through this the best some day this will all be behing us.


God Bless you, SAME HERE