i can offer you some insight into a liar's mind, i'm 29 years old and my youngest brothe is 22, and a patholical liar. when he was about 19 my brother began to lie about everything under the sun, and my parents and his girlfriend and i caught him in some pretty bizar lies, so many infact that as a family (including the girlfriend) went to a counsler together, we went on a weekly bases and my brother continued to lie to the counsler week after week, until finally he felt cornered and told us all the truth, he had done nothing wrong, he was not a theif or murderer, nothing and even though suspected he had never cheated and never would, but he did give us his reason for lieing but he didn't know he was lying. i know this sounds strange, trust me living it was bizar.
he felt that if he lied it made him sound like a more intresting person and people would like him better and want to be around him more, he wanted everyone to be proud of him and praise him for things, he wanted his friends to think he was greatest thing since slices bread. in truth he wasn't happy with himself and he thought the lying would make him appear to be a better person.
like i said he didn't know he was lying, liars have a way of beliving there own lie and if they retell a lie 2 people will get the exact same story, because the liar sees it as the truth.
at one point in the counsling i sugested that my brother be hypmotised (sorry i'm a bad at spelling) and the counsler said that it wouldn't work because he belived the lies to be truth.
this may not make much sense and i'm sorry but you may want to get medical help for your wife and the story she told you maybe just because she wants you to belive she is a good wife, or maybe the best wife in the world she may be terified of being alone and that fear has caused her to lie to you with the most outlandish stories to show you that she is the best thing since sliced bread.
what i can tell you is that if she doesn't get help for her problem she will become a better liar, just like anything practice makes perfect even with a liar, but once she hits that point you may not be able to tell the lies from truth and neither will she and she will be much happier living in her fantsy world she has created than in reality and she will try to bring you with her.
and i have just one more thing to add, one thing that we did that was helpful in stopping my brother from lying was to not use the word lying or liar but ask him if he was telling us a story, using the word story does not provoke the person to defend themselves by making the lie more elabriate or bigger.
i hope some of this helps i feel for you and can relate to the heatache you must feel. on a brighter note my brother still lies on occasion but is able to catch himself now and will tell the truth, it is a long process but there is a light at the end of the tunnel you can't see it yet but i promise it's there.
good luck and we are all here for you

Dude,

Where there is smoke there is fire. The two phones was kind of fishy, but understandable. But the potential evidence that their may be a third?!! A disposable that can be thrown away???

Keep your eyes wide open....

A quick update:

My wife has told me, without any questions or prompting, that her work mobile is moving from contract to pay-as-you-go, which would explain the reason for the top-up voucher. She brought this into the conversation while moaning about expenses that she had to claim - having to pay for stuff up front and then waiting to get the money back.

I suppose that explains the 'phone situation.

However, I have since discovered that she is keeping as VERY detailed diary of her feeling about me and her interractions with me - many of them negative about things I never had a clue were bothering her. They seem such little, picky things but so many.

This is so very detailed - sometimes more than two pages per day. It's as if she is analysing everything I am doing and saying. She talks of nothing else - no work, family or social stuff, no talk about any other men or even friends. Just us.

I'm really starting to worry that I'm sharing my house and my bed with a total stranger. I look into her eyes and it's as if I no longer know what's looking back.

What are all of your thoughts? You may find this overly dramatic but I'm finding all of this quite sinister.

How did you find out about the diary? Did you find it or did she show you? Sometimes women tend to take things the wrong way and they get there feelings hurt. Her diary is her place to share her feelings without being judged, a place for her to vent. Just because she is writting those things doesnt mean that she doesnt love you its just her private place.

You need to take this time to talk to her, suggest counseling to straighten things out. A lot of times people hold resentment for eachother in a marriage because of simple misunderstandings. You guys need to learn to communicate better and then maybe you will be happier.

The things she complains about that you say are picky are her feelings. Maybe this is why she doesnt talk to you about them because she knows that you will not take the time to try to understand her feelings. You cant judge her on her feelings. If you say that she is picky all you are doing is basically saying that her feelings dont mean anything. Regardless of how you feel about them they are her feelings, she owns them and has every right to feel the way she does. Maybe if you took sometime to sit down and really listen then maybe you could understand. you are invalidating her feelings and making her seem smaller than you and that is not right. To me this sounds very commen and you guys should go to a counselor so that you guys can learn to understand eachother.

And I would agree with you had I ever had a hint previously that these things were bothering her. This is a total surprise to me - hence it's like living with somebody I don't know.

I don't say that they are picky to belittle my wife. I would be thrilled if she sat down and even attempted to talk, truthfully, through some of this stuff. What I mean is that there doesn't seem to be anything massive (by normal definitions) bothering her - more a million little things and it's disturbing to note that I seem unable to do anything right.

Counseling would be fantastic and I'd jump at it at a moment's notice but she lied her way though the last attempt, which was frankly soul destroying.

And no - she didn't show me the diary. I 'found' it. I know, I know, but I was told to keep my eyes wide open so I'm watching everything and anything that will give me a clue on how to fix this.

At no point in her writings does she write about what she would like me to do - just a plethora of very assertive posturings on everything I do wrong. It's difficult to see how I get this one right.

I personally feel that it may be best to spend some time apart.

Hi
This might sound silly I know, but do you think your wife wants you to find her diary? I tell you why I ask, because when I found out about my husband cheating on me, he was telling me so many different things and my mind was in such a spin that I decided to write things down, primarily so that I wouldn't forget what he was saying to me, but I soon started to bare my soul in it and secretely wished that my husband would find it. In fact, when I was sure that he had found it, I started to purposely write things in it which I knew he would read and this became a way for me to convey to him what and how I was feeling. I know it was deceitful of me, but it kind of served its purpose because I wouldn't have been able to say these things to his face as he is a very proud man and would feel that he was losing his position in the family if he was to acknowledge that he was in the wrong, if you see what I mean. I realise that maybe your wife is doing nothing of the sort because I actually still wanted to stay in the marriage but your wife may be writing down her feelings as a way to analyse her relationship with you because she might be having doubts. Take note of what she is saying and if possible try to rectify things if you feel that you are able to and indeed you want to. Be as attentive and loving as possible and never bring up the fact that you think your relationship is in trouble. I read somewhere that you should think back to when you first met, did you discuss the 'relationship'? No, because you were too busy getting to know each other and having fun. Is it possible to get to know your wife again? Perhaps she feels that she has grown but you haven't. Show her that you too can grow and start doing some things without her so that she can miss you. This seems to be a delicate time for you both and you must be very strong if you want to keep her. Confide in a trustworthy friend for support or keep writing to this page. Good luck.