I am so glad that I found your post. I cannot believe that I have found someone else who is going through the same thing I am going through.
About two weeks ago I found out that my fiance had been texting another girl that he met over the internet. They were supposedly very innocent text messages, about our relationship and how he was confused. I accepted that and asked that he stop. He said he would. And stupid, naive me believed him.
The last week he has been especially attentive, more than loving, and I believed that things were finally back to normal. Until I was looking at pictures on his phone, and I saw a bunch of naked ones of him. He only takes those when he wants to be goofy and send them to me, which he hasn't done in ages. So I looked into his delivery reports (because the clever bastard knows enough to delete the actual messages), and I was devastated to see that there were picture messages sent to her, and also some very disgusting dirty things that he said he would like to do to her. I think the one that hurt the most though, was the one where he called her 'unbelievably beautiful.' Somehow that was more personal, and it killed me to read it. And to top it all off, they weren't old. They were sent AFTER I asked him to stop. Even after he said he'd stop, he kept it up, up to a week ago.
I blew up. The past week had been so great, but the week before I had been asking him questions about her, because I had strange gut feelings that knew weren't nothing, and each time he got mad at me for prying about a 'closed issue.' He made ME feel like a jerk for HIS stupid antics!
Turns out he was still having doubts about us, but this past week, he realized that he had everything with me and this whole past week was devoted to making me believe that. He says he is so sorry, and while he can't guarantee he will never ever lie to me again, he can sas that what happened will never happen again. Though, he said it would never happen the first time... But I digress. And while I wish I cold just walk away, I can't. The worst part of it is that I still love him. We decided that we are going to take it slow, and I gave him back his ring. He is to give it back to me when he has no more doubts about us. And he knows that he is going to have some serious butt kissing to do.
I want to believe that he means it when he says he loves me and he wants to be with me. But what he did was not only a blow to our relationship and my feelings for him, it was also a blow to my ego and self worth. To top it all off was all the lying we had to do to get to the truth.
I really feel for you. And I don't want to sound insensitive, but the fact that your husband wants to go to counseling gives me hope for us. I know that you just got on here to vent, but I would really like to talk to you more. I haven't even talked to my best friend about this yet, because I know what everyone would say... "Grow a backbone and leave him!" But I am glad that you understand the feelings we have for our men, despite their wrongdoings. I know I am just a young girl, but I really need someone to talk to, and I am a really good listener if you need it. My email is
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