I am married to a girl whom I knew almost 5-6 years before I got married. Our relationship started with friedship and then love and during initial time I unknowingly got caught in a lie which I continued till I came to know the truth. When I shared the truth with her, it had already cauesed lot of pain to her. The relationship became sour in initial staages but she trusted me and we moved on. On several occasions, I was caught lying on small and big issues on many occasions.

Recently, I had been lying to my wife about my relationships with a girl in office. Althought the relationship was not an emotional or physical, but I certainly gave her undue advantages and prority thinking that she is good resource and do good for the business. Secondly, I felt hurt for not-praised [of my outing habits, food, thoughts, dressup, books etc.] and the hurt and lonlyness caused to see a friend in a colleague in the office who use to appriciate my taste for eating, reading, shopping etc. I was cautioned my wofe and many well wishers that she is not a good character girl and would harm my image and reputation in the organization but I continued to believe in myself ignoring everyone, untill I got betrayed.

I have been reading into as to why do I lie when it is not necessary to and specially to my wife who is more comfortable wit truth. After reading articals and books and consulting a doctor I came to know that I am, what is called, Chronic Lier. Now that I understand that:

1. I am a chronic lier and I have hurt my wife to the core and have negnected and demeaned in the process.
2. I love my wife more than anyone in the world and cant think of life with her.
3. Am prepared to move step by step toward gaining her trust

I would request if any of you have ever experienced such incident and gain success in overcoming the same, kindly share your thought and suggestions.

LifeHurts:

That really is up to your wife. If you are willing to get help and if she is willing to support you, I wish you both the best of luck. The one thing I would recommend is that you stick with a professional psychiatrist, that way you have something tangible you can show your wife that you are working on this. That is the problem with breaking trust; your word does not count at the moment, so you need to show to your wife by actions not words or promises that you are going to work on this issue.

--Jen