i dont even know where to start, but im am the one who caused all the distrust in my relationship, through lying, and not being able to admit the truth. Everytime i say that i am going to change, i always end up doing something to upset my partner. And then when he is upset, he brings up the past, and i start to get upset because i know that it is me causing all the problems in the relationship. Its more recently that i have started doing the things that he has asked me not to do, but then if something totally unrelated happens to him and he is upset, it just brings back what i have done, and then i feel like everything is my fault, even when i havent done anything wrong. Does anybody understand? please let me know

A very random side comment from something that I learned from work. Objectives need to be clear, definable, and achievable. If you want to be able to work on just about anything from sorting out household chores, to major life moves; one of the basic building blocks is learning to break down concepts into small definable steps. If you want to build back trust, agree on simple, definable concepts that can be proven. Agree on a few items (the ideal number is 3-6). And work on those. When you make progress, scratch a few off and add new ones. This can be anything from agreeing to call at set times, or agreeing to sit down and talk about the week for half hour every Tuesday, or removing contacts and agreeing to allow the partner to see your call logs to verify.

Hope that helps some.