Hi Robbie,

I posted here a little while ago after finally trying to get over my ex. It took a while believe me . We had been together for a while and we left on really bad terms .

Anyhow just as I was planning a really big trip he sends me an email says he wants to talk . I wasn't sure as he had really hurt me . then like a fool I waited and waited for his call and he never rung. So , like a fool I rang him only to be subject to the same phone abuse that he use to do to others I expect . Whatever, he rang the next day and told me when he'd be availible .It was just a control thing.

Being honest with someone you have spent a lot of time with is the one thing you should be able to do and after reading your posts and the responses I think it's fair to say that your heart was in the right place but she's probably not the one for you.

If those pictures and sentimental things mean so much of course you shold keep them but file them away if you can and don't make yourself go through them all. I don't think it's a good idea to meet at the weekend because she'll probably end up trying to stay with you and the the cycle of pain will begin all over again.

With people like her cutting yourself off is sometimes the best way to overcome all the pain. In weak moments think of all the bad times then you'll feel a little better and realise that with some time and alot of courage you can finally move forward with your life .

Good luck .
Serena

Hi Serena,
Thanks for your reply,

Im trying to focus on the bad things right now, beleive me there were alot of them from her in the past 6 months!

Im going to put all the pics and stuff into a folder maekd archive or bitch or something so i know not to open them for a while.

I spoke to her this afternoon and told her i wanted whatever things she has here gone as well as whats on the PC. She started getting nasty and now wants to take things that were given as gifts to us etc..She kept asking what got into me all of a sudden etc,,,I didnt tell her anything, I just said im sick of your constant lies and deception and im fed up with you and this crap your dishing out...She tried to turn it on me but i just said i said what i had to say, bye!

Your right i need to stay away from her, she is like poison!

Anyway, Im off to bed.

Robbie

Hey Robbie,

I know it's tough for you right now but you should congratulate yourself for taking a stand and showing her that you're not going to put up with it any longer. She's out of her comfort zone and she will get nasty and then she'll probably try being a sweetie again. I know the routine well because I use to have a friend just like her and even though we would all tell her it was wrong and hurtful and not right she never listened. In the end she lost her Bf and learnt a lesson as well.

Hang tough you know it will all work out for the better.

Robbie,

If you truly want to get over her and move on then every time you have the urge to call her just remember all the bad things that she has done to you. If you can remember why you dont want to be with her it might be easier to resist the temptation.

Your doing good Robbie and you will get past this. You will learn a big lesson and you will grow from this. Just keep moving forward, dont look back.

When you get lonley try to find something to do. Go out with friends or family. If you have a special hobby do that. You have to keep yourself busy otherwise those feelings will just keep getting worse.

Your a survivor and your doing the right things.

Thanks guys, Im trying my best to hang in there.

I had a moment of weakness last night and im alittle ashamed of this.

I went to the doctor to ask him for a script for sleeping pills cos im not sleeping well despite my best efforts.

Anyway, the doctors waiting room must have stirred a feeling inside me of when my ex took me there a few weeks ago cos i had the flu. It was a time when we were still living together and she cared for me while i was sick. I held the sad feelings back and tried to think about something different..

In the car on the way to the pharmacy i couldnt hold it back anymore and tears welled up in my eyes. I know it was wrong but called her.. Im so stupid...!
She was concerned, she sensed right away something was up and wanted to know what was wrong and what she can do to help...i guess she still cares on some level....She wanted to come over to make sure i was ok...I told her not to worry and apologised for being so pathetic. She kept saying i wasnt and that she understood how painful this is...Looking back at last night I was truly pathetic to do that. Im embarresed as well.

I know you all say when you are feeling like this to do something fun or go somewhere etc but these feelings always show their ugly face late at night when im going to bed or watching tv etc and its impractical to go out or talk to friends cos theyre usually all asleep!

After i spoke to her last night i felt at ease, and it was strange cos nothing had changed between us, like i was no closer to getting her back or anything like that but hearing her voice made me feel a whole lot better, like a dark cloud that was hanging over me all day was lifted..Im going crazy i think!

Im making an appointment to see a councillor cos these feelings are overwhelming sometimes, I thought i could control them, and mostly I can, but last night i slipped up and now she can see what a pathetic whimp i have become.

I seem to be taking one step forward and 10 back!

Sorry for the long and continuing posts..! i just needed to vent..

Robbie

Its good that you are making steps forward. Dont worry about the steps that you take backward just keep focusing on the moving forward.

I am sure that its hardest at night because your use to having that company during that time. I know that if it was me that would be the hardest time of the day for me as well. Over time that feeling will go away and you will be just fine. This takes time, it takes time to heal your heart and to be able to move on but you can do it.

Everyone has moments of weakness so dont get down on yourself to much for calling her. Its good that you didnt let her come over that shows that you are taking steps forward.

You are doing good Robbie & this to shall pass.