Good for you! It sounds like you are making progress and you have the right idea. You will make the right choice for you & you alone. Focus on you and what you want to do with your life. One day you will find the women that appreciates you for everything that you do.

Keep us updated. Your not wearing me down its always nice to hear people make progress with life situations and overcome them.

Hello everyone! Thanks again for your advice, I keep reading over it whenever im feeling low, like right now....! It kind of gives me hope and re focuses what i should be doing now and where i want to be in the future.

I've been up and down the passed few days. One moment I feel strong and confident that im doing the right thing and the next moment i feel alone and anxious again..I suppose this is normal and it will ease over time? I hope so anyway!

Im not thinking about my ex 24/7 like i used to, its kind of like 20/7 lol... well i think thats an improvement from last week! Im trying to condition myself to think of something else or do something else the moment i find myself thinking of her or wanting to call her. Writing here helps cause i wanted to call her a moment ago but I came here instead.

Do any of you think its too early for me to be dating again, nothing serious or to replace my ex but just to have some friends? Im new in this town and dont have any friends to hang out with and my family/friends live over 2 hour drive away..I dont know, its something i have been thinking about.

Im getting my work up to date, Ive been on the phone today and out on the road visiting clients. Its weird but when im in work mode and talking to clients i feel ok. Its when i get home i feel lonely..

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know im doing ok at the moment thanks to all your words of encouragement and advice.


Robbie

Robbie, your doing the right thing. The feelings that your having will ease over time, guaranteed!

I dont think its a bad idea to date, as long as thats all your doing. I wouldnt get into anything to serious but going out and making friends is not a bad thing to do.

Just keep focusing on yourself, work on you and I promise you will be just fine. Only time will tell where your going from here but at least you know that no matter what happens you will always be ok.

Keep moving forward and things will start to look up for you. Its good that your not calling her and coming here instead, there is always some one here to talk to.

Robbie, it sounds like you were dating my sister. I think you did the right thing.
Just remind yourself how you want to be treated, and don't lower your standards because of this experience. It looks like you're on the right track!

Robbie,
I'm glad that you're doing well, for the most part. I don't know if you've ever had someone close to you pass away, but if you have (and this is what I tell myself), if you can deal with the death of a loved one, you can deal with anything. As I said before, take it day by day, hour by hour or five minutes by five minutes; whatever your mind and heart need to cope...YOU WILL BE OKAY, I PROMISE!

Regarding re-entry into the dating scene, the only thing that could warn you about is a "rebound" relationship. Right now you're vulnerable and hurting, I could imagine someone could take advantage of that, or your heart could fall for someone because it's in need of loving. Just be careful. Friends and family are always good, but if you need female companionship, just guard your heart.

We're here for ya buddy!
Laura

Hi all,
Thanks again for all your advice.

I just thought i would give you an update. Its Sunday and im feeling alittle lonely, the temptation to ring my ex is really strong right now!

I have done alot of thinking and beleive im making the right decision to cease all communication with her. If this is right why does it feel so wrong...

My only problem is she has some things here that i really want gone, the main one is all the photos and videos of us on this computer, there is about 18 gigabites worth. I feel like deleting them all but I know i will regret that later on. So how should I approach this? Should I ask her to come over to sort through her things and remove them? I dont want to see her so this is difficult for me.

My thoughts over the past few days have gone from missing her greatly and mourning the loss of a future with her as well as remembering all the good times we had together to feeling empty and angry at her for allowing this to happen. I reflect on the lies she told me in the past and the lies she continued to tell me up until the day she left and i hate her for doing that. I mean, how easy is it to just be honest? It seems people like her are just nasty and evil people, only interested in what they can get out of a situation, when they get it they take off only to return when they need something again. They dont care at all about the pain they inflict in the process of satisfying their selfish needs.

That has been my biggest weakness with her, I always let her back in and Im starting to see how that has prolonged the pain and healing process. For over 6 months now she has done this only to benefit herself.

She calls me when she's lonely and in need of my love and attention and is really sweet and tender toward me in those times but she is rarely, if ever around when i truly need the same thing from her!

Im hoping that realising this is a step in the healing process. I just wish I can keep that up because when im thinking like this i truly dont want to know her..

I cant say im happy, i have moments when im really down and feel wretched. This comes and goes, one moment im enjoying a movie and the next i feeel like crawling into a corner and blocking the world out wishing all this will end.
I read that weekends are the worse time for feeling loney, I can attest to that! It is...

I know there is no quick solution to what im going through, the pages of material im reading all say its a long process. I just wish i have the strength to get through it and not succumb to a moment of weakness and do something stupid.

Robbie