I just found out that my husband has another child that is 9 years old. He is only 7 months younger than our youngest child. My husband says he felt awful about having the short affair and that is when he quit drinking. He found out the other woman had their kid only after the child was 2. My husband gave her money every month after that to help with expenses. She took him to court for Child Support last year, but did not ask for back child support. How do I deal with this? The child lives in this same town. My husband wants to be a responsible father to this child, but I don't know if I can deal with him going to visit his other child.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Yes, it will be very difficult for you to deal with, but you can do one of two things. You can either turn your back on this child and tell you husband you want nothing to do with him or you can try your best to integrate this child into your family. It will be very difficult to put your pain aside and think of the children, but in the very long run, it will be more rewarding if you could try the second option. Your child has a right to know his half sibling, they would most likely get in touch when they are older anyway.

If you want to stay with your husband and you love him, then you must decide to forgive him and accept this child.

If you love your husband and want to stay with him, but don't want to accept this child then you have to be prepared for what lies ahead. If your husband wants to see him then there will be lies and deceipt, so you would end up getting hurt anyway. Whats been done is done, you are now where you are. Who knows, if you could look past how this child was concieved, you might get to love him, I hope so for everyone's sake especially the children's.