I am completely in love with my girlfriend and she is with me. I have always felt though, that she lies to me, its hard to explain but sometimes little things dont add up. the biggest problem i have is that she has a past worthy of a novel. involvinig rape, being stuck overseas, forced to get married and so on. But i can find any eveidence or anything that these events took place and when she talks about it she has no emotion at all. the reason i started being suspicous of her lying was for some unknow reason, i believe she posed as her brother and would talk to me over the interent and when i talked to him about it he had no idea what i was talking about. My girlfriend said it was him and he was playing a cruel prank on me but it something that doesnt add up. I want to confront her about her amazong past and have asked for photographs of the trip of documents that she has sent the police and she never seems to give them to me.

the problem i have is, if i confront her and accuse her of lying and shes not, well.. the relationship will pretty much be over. i feel my last resort is to talk to her parents but as i said, if what she says is true, it will bring back bad memories for them.

I dont know what to do. how can i cure my curiosity withour runing my relationship. for all i know she could be telling me the truth about everything or she could be lying about everything.

im very confused

Wow , I think you should be straight up front with her, use the sandwich technique by starting with something positive and say what you have to say in between then end with a positive... The saying goes One who cant trust cant be trusted , maybe she is playing these tricks on you because she maybe up to no good, who knows the only way to find out is too be upfront with her Good Luck

I understand your position as I have just gone through the same situation. My (very recently) ex-wife did the same to me and her past too was worth writing a book about. None of the events could be backed up nor could I confront her relatives on the issues because of their sensitivity. After extensive research, I have found the following.

Some people have a condition that causes them to Lie constantly. The condition is only curable in adolescents, therefore as an adult the lying will not stop. Like any untruth, the results are destructive and damaging. Sadly I feel sorry for people with this condition, as I don't think they mean to cause harm, however, it will and does cause harm to all in contact with that person.

The choice is yours ultimately; some people have managed to stay with their spouses; accepted and coped with them. Many do not cope and eventually leave the person or is completely destroyed by the person. We love our partners dearly, but don't forget we love a shadow and not the true person. Simply put you don't know the person you are with and you never will. Love them never the less, but be warned of their destructive nature.

My ex and I still love each other dearly and long to be together, but both (yes including her after much therapy) of us have seen that staying together is destructive.

Another thing to consider is that if she is prepared to leave you for your constructive criticism, them she cannot truly love you. The bond is not enough. These people will tell you they love you but because they believe their own lies what then is the truth about the way they feel.

Life is short and precious not to be wasted on having to live in wonder as to who you are in a partnership with. Find someone that can be true to you. No relationship can grow on deception and lies - THAT THE TRUTH.

What ever you do, stay cool man. It's the hardest thing to do, but obviously you're head over heals, so you don't want to lose her. Don't confront her, it won't make any difference, and she'll just brush it off anyway. The trouble is, if she realises that you believe her lies, she'll begin to lose respect for you, so don't acknowledge that you believe her, but don't be seen to dismiss it either. You have to gain her respect by being steadfast in your beliefs, and eventually she'll respect you for it. The hardest thing about your situation is not to be totally driven out of your mind. Try and have something else in life that is more important than her - I know that sounds impossible, but perhaps you have a passion, or there are many good causes to fight the good fight for. Many a seed's beginning starts in the darkest hour. I hope this will increase the already narrow chance of your relationship's success. You are going to be fighting to save it for a long time to come yet.

Wow!! this is a good forum and this is a great post. As im reading this, im thinking WOW im dating a girl like this!!
I know shes totally lying to me even without the facts or proof presented to me. Im just real good at picking apart what people tell me at different times.

I think im gonna save my story for a new post. Its gonna be a good one